The breeze is turning into a full-blown wind, and I wrap my arms across my chest, trying to fend off the cold. “It’s like you’re in total denial. You can’t bear to admit you might actually be failing.”
“I’m not going to fail,” Patrick says.
“It’s not a crime to fail. But if you keep denying it—”
“I wouldn’t lie to you, Ree!” Patrick insists.
“Then prove it,” I say. “Take me behind the firewall.”
Patrick lets out a sigh, and I can tell he’s still holding back. “No,” he says simply.
“Why not?” I ask. My heart pushes against my rib cage and I feel a little breathless. “Are you worried I’m going to suffer from nanopsychosis?”
When he spins around, I stare him down, trying to make a connection. But it’s like there’s barely any life left in his eyes.
“What if . . . you’re already sick?” he says, his lower lip trembling a little. “This stuff about the firewall, it’s nonsensical. I’ve told you that already. People are hallucinating things. Maybe even you.”
“No, I was just with a girl who stayed too long in Elusion, and she said the exact same things my father told me when I saw him on that beach,” I say defiantly. “If anything, that proves that I’m not hallucinating a thing.”
“How?”
“Nanopsychosis can cause hallucinations based on subconscious memories. This girl would have to needed to know him in real life in order to dream him in Elusion. And there’s no way she could have known what he told me, unless he reached out while she was inside one of the Escapes and told her, too,” I say with conviction.
But Patrick is not convinced. “You sound crazy. You know that, right?”
“I don’t care what you think. I’m going to find the firewall, Pat. And if you won’t go with me, I’ll go alone.”
“No, you won’t,” says a voice.
I turn around, and Josh is standing not more than ten feet away from us, wearing jeans and a blue long-sleeved knit shirt. He looks healthy and strong, like he did when I first met him at Patrick’s party. “I’m going with you.”
As much as I want to throw my arms around him, I know that this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened right now.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Patrick barks at Josh. Then he whips around, his face just inches from mine, his eyes blazing. “Did you invite him?”
“Regan didn’t have anything to do with it. I stole the code off your InstaComm message,” Josh says to Patrick. Then he takes my hand and pulls me away. “After you left, I really started to worry. I didn’t like the idea of you being in here, especially after what we saw.”
“Oh, that’s rich,” Patrick says, rolling his eyes. “You came here to protect her? How in the hell would you do that?”
“I’ve already lost one person I care about to Elusion. I’m not about to lose another.”
“I have some bad news for you. I’m afraid Regan’s little crush is affecting her mental capacity,” Patrick says. “She’s not thinking straight.”
I feel my face get warm the way it does when I blush, but it only lasts for a second. I’m about to counter his snide remarks when I’m beaten to the punch.
“If there’s something wrong with Regan or anyone else, that’s on you,” Josh says, calmly raising an eyebrow.
Patrick doesn’t take criticism well, especially from someone like Josh, someone he views as competition. He shoves Josh in the shoulder to break Josh’s physical contact with me.
“Ever since you met Regan, you’ve been trying to drive a wedge between us. You’ve known her for a week, Josh. A fucking week!”
“This has nothing to do with Josh. We just want this mess to be over,” I say, reaching for Patrick’s arm. He moves away, as if he’s suddenly disgusted by the thought of me touching him. I’ve never seen him this upset.
“Fine, you want me to take you to the firewall?” Patrick says, gnashing his teeth. Then he grabs hold of my wrist and twists, hard. “Then he goes home! Now!”
“Get your hands off her!” Josh steps in front of me, squaring off against Patrick, his knuckles turning white when he bares two clenched fists.
Without warning, I hear a crashing sound from above. A stark sense of dread spreads through me as dark red clouds spill across the heavens like pools of thick, clotting blood. “Or what?” Patrick asks. He lets go of my wrist, carelessly pushing me to the side. I stumble backward a little and almost land on my rear, but I catch myself by grabbing on to an old, dying tree.
That tree wasn’t there a few seconds ago.
Or was it?
“You’re going to hit me?” Patrick gets right in Josh’s face, angry spittle flying from his mouth. “Bring it on, you bastard.”
Another loud crackle temporarily cuts through the tension among us as the dark red clouds begin to herd together and partially block the green numbers that were once flickering in the sky.
“You used Regan to get to me. Admit it!” Patrick shouts, just as a small white butterfly flutters in front of me, winding its way through the air in tiny circles and landing right on my collarbone.
I’ve never seen any live creature before in Elusion, so I’m completely stunned by its presence. All of a sudden I can’t hear anything but muffled voices or feel scared about what might be happening. It’s as though this butterfly seems to have silenced the world, just for me. I put my fingertips below its legs so it can rest on my hand, and then I bring it up for a closer look. Right away I notice a glint of gold on its wings, and I’m reminded of a line from those children’s books I loved.
The butterfly with flecks of gold
Was so beautiful to behold.
Patrick must have remembered. That innocent time when he and I were simply best friends who told each other everything. Even now I can see that caring child within him, buried deep below the surface of this troubled young man who can’t seem to tell right from wrong.
“I’m not going to fight you, Patrick,” Josh says, backing away from him.
I wiggle my fingertips, and instead of flitting away, the butterfly disappears before my eyes.
“Okay, fine,” I say to Patrick. “Josh goes home and you take me to the firewall.”
Josh looks at me, his eyes registering his surprise. “What are you doing?”
I try to stay focused on Patrick. I can’t worry about what Josh is thinking, nor can I let my personal feelings for him affect my actions.
“I have a better idea,” Patrick says. “How about we go home together and get that QuTap back from Josh and his little friend Avery before they drag you down with them? If that information is released, I can’t prevent Orexis from going after you. And you will go to jail, Regan. I don’t think your mom needs to be dealing with that right now, do you?”
Bringing up my mom is blatant manipulation. He, of all people, knows how much I’d give to protect her and spare her from suffering more pain. But I can’t allow my feelings for her to prevent me from doing what I know is right. And if he thought that mentioning her would make me change my mind, he’s sadly mistaken.