“Don’t be sorry,” he whispered. But suddenly, it wasn’t Chase. It was him. And they weren’t in the wine cellar; they were in the upstairs bathroom of the homecoming party. And he was kissing her neck. And even then, amid the unease that was beginning to swirl in her gut, Andie remembered thinking she was lucky. How she couldn’t believe this was happening to her.
Derek O’Donnell was a senior. No, Derek O’Donnell was the senior. He looked like a model, like he didn’t belong walking through the halls of a high school. A three-sport athlete with a wit and charm that won over every single adult in the building.
And every single girl in the school.
Andie watched him from afar, like every other ordinary girl. She had often heard him referred to as a “ladies’ man” by the adults in the building, but Andie knew that was an understatement. Girls threw themselves at him, girls that were older and more beautiful and more experienced than Andie. He was the untouchable dream. And Andie was infatuated.
Her mother once found a notebook of hers on which she’d drawn a huge heart with their names in the center. The rest of the cover had been decorated with the words I love Derek in all different sizes, styles, and colors.
“That boy’s too old for you,” her mother had said, tapping the book firmly with her index finger.
“No he’s not,” Andie had protested softly. “He’s in high school, just like me.”
Andie’s mother shook her head firmly, spinning the book around to face Andie. “You don’t love boys like this. Na agapas me to kefali sou, kai tha eisai asfalis,” she said, tapping her temple. “Love with your head, and you’ll be safe.” She straightened up, her eyes on Andie. “You love with anything else,” she had said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “you find yourself in big trouble.”
Andie had rolled her eyes at the warning. It didn’t even matter; it wasn’t like she’d ever have a chance with him anyway.
And then came that Thursday afternoon when he approached her after volleyball practice.
She stood there like a deer in headlights, absolutely stunned. Derek O’Donnell, talking to a freshman? And when he asked her to come to the homecoming party that weekend, she felt a thrill course through her body like nothing she’d ever felt before.
She begged Tracey to go with her, finally managing to convince her after a long struggle, even though Tracey told her that Derek was a “man-whore who probably just wanted to get into her pants.”
Andie knew it was just jealousy speaking. After all, he had plenty of opportunities to “get into the pants” of other girls. He didn’t need her for that. He was genuinely interested in her. She could just feel it.
She and Tracey lied about being at each other’s houses that night, and when they arrived at the party, Derek grinned. Every time he handed her a drink, he winked. And every time he put his hand on her back, her neck, her upper thigh, she felt bolts of electricity sizzle through her body. Being next to him, having him touch her, was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.
She felt turned on. She felt sexy.
She felt powerful, having the attention of this boy.
A little later that evening, Andie had gone to the bathroom, and when she opened the door, he was standing there. He backed her into the room and shut the door behind him, and at that moment, Andie was afraid. Afraid that she would make a fool of herself, afraid she wouldn’t know how to kiss, that she would use too much tongue, or not enough, afraid she wouldn’t be good enough for him.
She was afraid of all the wrong things.
He approached her quickly, backing her into the glass of the shower door behind them as he started kissing her, and as much as she tried, she couldn’t keep up. It was sloppy, and forceful, and her head kept banging into the glass door behind her.
This wasn’t at all how she’d pictured it would be.
His hand came to her breast, squeezing it firmly, and she tried to protest, but his tongue was in her mouth, making speech impossible.
Instead, she gripped his wrist and tugged. When his hand came free, she was relieved, until she felt it quickly slip underneath her skirt. Before she could react, his fingers were inside her. She flinched, standing up on her toes to get away from the pressure and the pain. Andie gripped his wrist, tugging again, but this time he couldn’t be budged.
“Can you stop? Please? You’re hurting me,” she mumbled against his mouth.
“Shh,” he said against her lips. “I’m helping you, baby. This is never going to work if you don’t loosen up.” And then his mouth was on hers again before she could even comprehend what he meant.
Her head was swimming, and suddenly he shifted his hand, causing the pain between her legs to increase, and she whimpered in spite of herself.
“Shh,” he said, kissing her again, the back of her head banging into the glass of the shower once more.
Somehow Andie managed to rip her mouth from his, and she turned her face away from him, pressing her lips together. His mouth was immediately on her neck, his hand planted firmly between her legs, and that’s when Andie saw her.
The girl was terrified, her eyes wide, all the color gone from her face and her knuckles white as she gripped the back of his shirt.
It took her a second to realize she was looking in the mirror.
By that time her skirt was bunched up around her waist, and she felt him pull her panties to the side. She hadn’t been aware of him undoing his pants, she hadn’t even heard a zipper, but all at once, she knew what was about to happen.
Desperate, she brought her hands up to his chest, pushing with everything she had in her, but it was like pushing against a wall. The cold shower door behind her provided no give, no escape.
She felt him try to enter her and she yelped loudly.
“Shhh!” he hissed, angrily this time, pressing his hand to her mouth so abruptly that her head slammed back against the door with a loud bang. She felt it reverberate through her vision, and for a second, everything went blurry. She wanted it to stay blurry. She wanted to disappear within herself. “You’ll like it once we get started,” he said. “You’ll see. Just relax.”
He kept his hand over her mouth, silencing her as he thrust against her again, but it was in vain. He tried over and over, the movement of his hips becoming more determined as he tried to fully sheath himself inside her, the throbbing burn between her legs increasing with each attempt.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to hit him. But she couldn’t move. She could barely breathe.
He jerked his head back suddenly. “Would you fucking relax!” he snapped, just as a knock sounded on the door. He froze, his fingers still pressed securely over her mouth.
“Yeah?” he said.
“Yo, O’Donnell, hurry the fuck up!” someone called through the door. “We’re starting the next round of beer pong!”
“Alright, gimme a second,” he said.
It was silent then, the only sound being the rapid thrumming of Andie’s heartbeat echoing in her ears and the muted sounds of the party on the other side of the door.
He finally turned back toward her. “This isn’t worth it,” he said with disdain, pushing away from her as he buttoned his pants. “Put yourself back together,” he added with an irritated nod in the direction of her skirt.
Andie’s whole body was trembling, and she reached down nervously, her fingertips gripping the hem of her skirt and tugging it down in shaky, jerking motions.
He turned to leave the room but stopped suddenly, looking back at her. “If you tell anyone about this, you know what will happen, don’t you?”