Adam reacted welclass="underline" Cut hard left, tried to dodge behind — and stupid clot stopped! Nowhere to go — slammed on brakes, skidded to stop nestled intimately against beast’s shoulder. No impact, just nudge.
“How ’bout that,” said Terry in awed tones.
Rhino turned head, squinted disapprovingly down over shoulder with mean little pig eyes. Snorted. Horn about four feet long. Looked sharp.
Adam calmly, deliberately eased van into reverse; backed slowly away, concentrating intently on trailer, visible in mirror. Kept rig lined up. Kept going.
Rhino stared. Snorted again. Louder. Then frowned. Turned. Pawed ground. Lowered head.
Calm, deliberate sternway gained momentum, acquired salient characteristics of earnest retreat — then precipitous route as rhino took several quick, purposeful steps.
Fast reverse driving not easy with trailer; requires concentration. Covered perhaps 200 yards without jackknifing before rhino slowed, snorted, veered off between buildings, disappeared.
Adam stopped, sat immobile, breathing like Thoroughbred after crossing finish line. Encounter spanned perhaps 30 seconds, but was wringing wet. Eyes blinked rapidly. Knuckles white where hands gripped wheel. No sound emerged when first tried to speak. Had indeed been concentrating.
He took deep breath, held momentarily, released in tremulous sigh. Then tried again: “Wouldn’t you think a city this size would have a leash law?” Grin unconvincing. “Where do you suppose that thing came from…?”
And just like that, I knew answer. Obvious, really; should have anticipated. And amazing thing is this was first encounter.
Rhinoceros trotting down city street, two miles from St. Louis Zoo. Coincidence? Haw! Isolated, unaided breakout? Not likely.
Trade places with zookeepers — warm, conscientious people who, if didn’t love animals, could make lots easier living, much better money, elsewhere. Utterly certain own deaths impending, how would react to animal friends’ prospects, locked in cages? Do nothing? Ensure agonizing deaths through starvation, thirst?
Not in million years…!
Safe assumption, therefore, most — possibly all — zoo animals now at large throughout country, probably world. Suggested as much to Adam.
“ ‘Lions and tigers and bears — oh, my!’ ” he quoted, with shake of head. “I’ll bet you’re right. Shall we detour and find out?”
Not keen on idea, but logic inarguable: Deliberately remaining ignorant of opposition bad strategy.
Proceeded to zoo. Conducted preliminary examination while driving, circling buildings. Exterior cages empty, but inconclusive: All connect to interior. Could be bodies inside.
Only one way to find out.
Reluctantly dug out, loaded M-16s, magnum pistols. Slipped holster belts around middles. Exited together, Terry on my shoulder (if failed to return, wouldn’t want him locked in, either).
Not elegant performance; probably looked like Abbott and Costello, engaged in burglary: back-to-back, tiptoeing with exaggeratedly sneaky steps, spinning one way, then another, trying to cover all directions at once (I was; Adam maddeningly at ease). Cautiously we scouted every building, rifles at ready, set for fully automatic fire, safeties off — so keyed up that, had even Daddy appeared suddenly, I probably would have cut him in half.
However, no untoward encounters; merely confirmed my very worst fears: All — repeat all — enclosures open, empty. Even cobras…
“Good grief, what kind of person can manage sympathy for cobras…?” I wondered aloud, trying to walk without placing feet on ground.
“Nice people,” Adam observed, peering around interestedly. “Cobras have feelings, too.”
“Well, yeah, maybe…”
Returned to rig; departed immediately.
Discussed development en route: “The ecology of the planet will never be the same,” I ventured. “Lots of those beasties will do just fine in their new homes.”
“Do you think so?” Zoology not one of Adam’s specialties. “I suppose animals from temperate climates will do all right, but what about ‘lions and tigers and bears’ from the tropics?”
Settled back in seat, took deep breath, delivered thumbnail zoological history/geography lesson:
Cobras (while notion makes my skin crawl) unlikely to be enduring problem anywhere temperate or cooler. Poisonous snakes in general not gregarious lot; solitary wanderers, seeking food, shelter alone. Rodent population explosion following H. sapiens’ demise guarantees all species’ small initial populations’ wide dispersal in totally strange environment: Ample food available wherever might roam. Further, tropical foreigners incapable of lying dormant; never survive winter.
Odds practically nil for compatible meeting, mating, species’ perpetuation before all dead of cold, old age, hunting accidents. Even given warmer climes to south, threat exists few years at most.
Warm-blooded predators, however, constitute distinctly separate problem: General rule suggests anything furry capable of producing winter coat. Know for fact, tigers found from rain forests to well above Himalayan snow line. One kitty actually named “Snow Leopard.” Lions roamed portions of Europe mere centuries ago; disappeared from Turkish mountains since Ottoman collapse.
Besides, most zoos housed relatively large big-cat populations; and are gregarious, particularly lions: Band together in prides, breed like rabbits. Perpetuation assured.
But pussycats not only problem: Grizzlies, wolves, cougars all native North Americans; absent Man, make selves at home anywhere.
And what about Kodiak bears? Comforting notion: 1,800 pounds of appetite. And polar bears — 11 feet long (not true bears at all; mink family — dispositions to match). Both regarded among deadliest carnivores on planet.
Vegetarians potential problem, too: Hannibal brought elephants across Alps; mammoths here before people. Doubt will enjoy winters, but most probably survive, multiply. Rhinos, too. Neither overtly aggressive; not truly dangerous per se (barring stupidity — not ideal subjects for teasing), but undesirable neighbors: To farmer visits equate with earthquake, flood, drought, locusts. Hope attentions dissuadable without bloodshed.
Sundry antelope types probably manage winters well as local ruminants — undoubtedly fare better in relations with new predator mix.
All of which certainly complicates outlook. Careful thought required for future. Must assemble projection of potential competition; learn strengths, weaknesses, formulate plans to cope.
During interim, M-16 probably adequate coper if cornered: Unlikely anything still standing after fully automatic setting empties 50-shot clip (expanding slugs) into ticklish spots. Other advantages: lightweight, accurate, reliable; spares, ammunition endlessly available; familiar now with teardown, maintenance drill.
Plus final advantage: Doesn’t knock me down (petty detail, but personally satisfying). Basic physics, of course: Violence going that way usefully limited (given 70-pound shooter) by violence coming this way. Equation rules out .457 Weatherby Magnum Double, African guide’s favorite equalizer.
“And if all else fails,” offered Adam, when I paused for breath, “we can try a stern expression and an assertive tone of voice: ‘Shoo!’ ”
Didn’t dignify by responding. Said, “We need to tighten up our travel habits.”
“Oh, yes, we’re guilty of the French traveler’s mistake.”
“I think we should start wearing sidearms from now on, and keep the M-16s close at hand — what?”