“Some of you think that this is a Sig Saur 9mm P238 handgun. It’s not,” lectured Major Mike Reynolds to the civilians gathered in front of him. “This is your best friend; your protector; your lover. You will learn to care for her and make her an extension of yourself—as familiar as your right leg or left arm.
“You will treat her like your baby and clean and oil her as if your life depended upon it—because it probably will. If I find even a speck of dirt or corrosion on any of your weapons at any time other than on this firing range during a live-fire exercise I will personally kick your butt and then let one of the Coridian healing machines put you back together so I can kick it again.
“This mission to board and commandeer the Noridian spacecraft that we’re all so familiar with is the most important military mission in the history of the human race. You will listen and learn from myself and the other trainers. You will become a fighting machine that achieves your one and only mission—to take that ship.
“The lives of your fellow scientists and military personnel are in your hands. Every individual on this mission will perform perfectly. You will not let them down.
“You will train until you could perform the mission in your sleep. You will do exactly what we tell you to do when we tell you to do it. You will become confident in your ability.
“If I think for even a moment that any of you can’t hold up your part of the mission I will pull you from the team; making it harder for everyone else; and possibly endangering Earth’s future.
“I will not let you fuck this up.”
Julie felt the words reverberate around her as she stared at the pistol on the bench in front of her. She’d never fired a gun of any kind before but she knew more or less how it worked and she wasn’t scared of it.
Back on Earth many of her colleagues were anti-gun and were always talking about needing stricter gun control laws. She’d never really paid much attention. She’d never before had any desire to personally own a gun but she didn’t really see how making guns illegal would help anything. After all, the criminals and mentally ill patients she had dealt with didn’t necessarily follow the laws anyway.
But now when she looked at it what she saw was her path to redemption, a tool to use in bringing the Noridians to justice. It embodied the power and might of being just and right.
She would master this weapon and throw herself into the training. Nothing would stop them from taking out that ship.
Because of her determination Julie did well enough with the pistol but she found she had a real knack for the M4A1 rifle. The unfolded stock sat snuggly against her shoulder and when she brought it up and looked through the sites she felt perfectly poised and in balance. It couldn’t have fit her any better if it had been designed specifically for her.
The pistol was a tool but the rifle was an extension of her will. She actually enjoyed seeing the targets scored and didn’t even have to consciously think about her aim; she visualized the target and it was a hit.
Ironically, it was her love of the rifle that started her on that path to healing. Even if she wasn’t in the same league as the shooters she was good enough to earn their respect and the comradery that entailed. She avoided any conversation about what happened on Stiger but just hearing others talking and laughing about previous missions and dangerous situations helped normalize some of Julie’s turmoil.
She still couldn’t sleep the entire night through without nightmares of running for her life but she was starting to subconsciously realize that others had gone through similar situations and survived.
Dr. Mom was the first person to actually bring up the subject of Julie’s mental health.
“My, I think you might actually wear that treadmill out; you’ve set a fast pace for yourself.”
“Toni! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in the gym before!” responded Julie.
Laughing, Toni said, “No, this is not usually one of my hangouts but I thought I might find you here. I was hoping we might talk; I was hoping to get some advice from you but I don’t want to interrupt your exercise.”
Julie had already slowed the treadmill and was allowing it to come to a stop.
“No, that’s fine. I was almost finished anyway. What did you want to talk about?”
“You know what? You need to clean up and my cabin would be more private anyway… Why don’t you meet me there in 20 minutes and I’ll have some tea ready for us?”
Julie agreed and walked into the locker room. She couldn’t help but wonder what Toni wanted advice on as she showered and changed.
The accommodations back in her cabin were fine but as far as she knew this was the only place on the entire ship were you could take a real water shower.
The Coridians, she’d been told, had no need of exercise facilities; their medical nano kept their bodies lean and to a preprogrammed bulk as well as in good cardiovascular fitness. This entire portion of the ship had been created for the Earthers and tailored after a workout facility on Earth, complete with equipment, his and her locker rooms, and running water.
Julie hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the feel of warm water running across her skin. Exercise had always provided her with a release from some of the pressure she always placed on herself and the shower was a great place to let her thoughts roam free and just think.
Unlike many women she’d known she didn’t prefer baths and she didn’t worry about getting her long hair wet; she luxuriated in submerging herself in the strong needles of water that massaged her scalp, neck, and shoulders. Many of her life’s insights and solutions had occurred to her underneath that spray and finding this locker room on the ship had been a Godsend.
She toweled herself off, changed her clothes, and more or less dried her hair before heading to Toni’s cabin. Once she arrived Toni invited her to have a seat in the living area.
“Thank you for coming Julie,” she said as she served the tea. “I know we originally became friends under false pretenses but for me the friendship part wasn’t false.”
“Toni,” Julie paused. “I haven’t really had time to sort out my feelings but I don’t hold any grudges against you. It’s hard for me not to think of you as my friend and colleague so why don’t we just value the friendship?”
“I’d like that Julie and sometimes it’s easy for me to forget just how fast things must be moving for you. There have been a lot of revelations over the last few months for all of us but for your team it’s been ten times as complicated as it has been for me. How are you holding up?”
“Fine,” she responded. “I’m tired and I’ll admit to being a little frazzled but I’m good.”
Toni didn’t respond. Instead she took a sip of her tea.
Eventually Julie spoke again, “I’m still mad as Hell but I’m dealing with it.”
“Are you?”
“Yes, definitely. I have a valid reason for being angry and I’m channeling that anger into a productive purpose.”
“You mean practicing to kill the Noridians.” It wasn’t a question.
“I mean our training to take the Noridian ship,” Julie responded with an edge.
“Yes, of course,” Toni responded. “I understand why that’s so important for you. For Earth.
“You know,” she continued. “You’ve become quite the leader to your people.”
“I’m not trying to lead anyone,” Julie said. “That’s Major Reagan’s job. I just know what needs doing and I’m going to make sure it gets done.”