29. The brain in flow: Jean Hamilton et al., "Intrinsic Enjoyment and Boredom Coping Scales: Validation With Personality, Evoked Potential and Attention Measures," Personality and Individual Differences 5, 2 (1984).
30. Cortical activation and fatigue: Ernest Hartmann, The Functions of Sleep (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1973).
31. I interviewed Dr. Csikszentmihalyi in The New York Times (MM. 22, 1992).
32. The study of flow and math students: Jeanne Nakamura, "Optimal Experience and the Uses of Talent," in Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Isabella Csikszentmihalyi, Optimal Experience: Psychological Studies of Flow in Consciousness (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1988).
Chapter 7. The Roots of Empathy
1. Self-awareness and empathy: see, for example, John Mayer and Melissa Kirkpatrick, "Hot Information-Processing Becomes More Accurate With Open Emotional Experience," University of New Hampshire, unpublished manuscript (Oct. 1994); Randy Larsen et al., "Cognitive Operations Associated With Individual Differences in Affect Intensity," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 53 (1987).
2. Robert Rosenthal et al., "The PONS Test: Measuring Sensitivity to Nonverbal Cues," in P. McReynolds, ed., Advances in Psychological Assessment (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1977).
3. Stephen Nowicki and Marshall Duke, "A Measure of Nonverbal Social Processing Ability in Children Between the Ages of 6 and 10," paper presented at the American Psychological Society meeting (1989).
4. The mothers who acted as researchers were trained by Marian Radke-Yarrow and Carolyn Zahn-Waxler at the Laboratory of Developmental Psychology, National Institute of Mental Health.
5. I wrote about empathy, its developmental roots, and its neurology in The New York Times (Mar. 28, 1989).
6. Instilling empathy in children: Marian Radke-Yarrow and Carolyn Zahn-Waxler, "Roots, Motives and Patterns in Children's Prosocial Behavior," in Ervin Staub et al., eds., Development and Maintenance of Prosocial Behavior (New York: Plenum, 1984).
7. Daniel Stern, The Interpersonal World of the Infant (New York: Basic Books, 1987), p. 30.
8. Stern, op. cit.
9. The depressed infants are described in Jeffrey Pickens and Tiffany Field, "Facial Expressivity in Infants of Depressed Mothers," Developmental Psychology 29, 6 (1993).
10. The study of violent rapists' childhoods was done by Robert Prentky, a psychologist in Philadelphia.
11. Empathy in borderline patients: "Giftedness and Psychological Abuse in Borderline Personality Disorder: Their Relevance to Genesis and Treatment," Journal of Personality Disorders 6 (1992).
12. Leslie Brothers, "A Biological Perspective on Empathy," American Journal of Psychiatry 146, 1 (1989).
13. Brothers, "A Biological Perspective," p. 16.
14. Physiology of empathy: Robert Levenson and Anna Ruef, "Empathy: A Physiological Substrate," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 63, 2 (1992).
15. Martin L. Hoffman, "Empathy, Social Cognition, and Moral Action," in W. Kurtines and J. Gerwitz, eds., Moral Behavior and Development: Advances in Theory, Research, and Applications (New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1984).
16. Studies of the link between empathy and ethics are in Hoffman, "Empathy, Social Cognition, and Moral Action."
17. I wrote about the emotional cycle that culminates in sex crimes in The New York Times (Apr. 14, 1992). The source is William Pithers, a psychologist with the Vermont Department of Corrections.
18. The nature of psychopathy is described in more detail in an article I wrote in The New York Times on July 7,1987. Much of what I write here comes from the work of Robert Hare, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia, an expert on psychopaths.
19. Leon Bing, Do or Die (New York: HarperCollins, 1991).
20. Wife batterers: Neil S. Jacobson et al., "Affect, Verbal Content, and Psychophysiology in the Arguments of Couples With a Violent Husband," Journal of Clinical and Consulting Psychology (July 1994).
21. Psychopaths have no fear—the effect is seen as criminal psychopaths are about to receive a shock: One of the more recent replications of the effect is Christopher Patrick et al., "Emotion in the Criminal Psychopath: Fear Image Processing," Journal of Abnormal Psychology 103 (1994).
Chapter 8. The Social Arts
1. The exchange between Jay and Len was reported by Judy Dunn and Jane Brown in "Relationships, Talk About Feelings, and the Development of Affect Regulation in Early Childhood," Judy Garber and Kenneth A. Dodge, eds., The Development of Emotion Regulation and Dysregulation (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1991). The dramatic flourishes are my own.
2. The display rules are in Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen, Unmasking the Face (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1975).
3. Monks in the heat of battle: the story is told by David Busch in "Culture Cul-de-Sac," Arizona State University Research (Spring/Summer 1994).
4. The study of mood transfer was reported by Ellen Sullins in the April 1991 issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
5. The studies of mood transmission and synchrony are by Frank Bernieri, a psychologist at Oregon State University; I wrote about his work in The New York Times. Much of his research is reported in Bernieri and Robert Rosenthal, "Interpersonal Coordination, Behavior Matching, and Interpersonal Synchrony," in Robert Feldman and Bernard Rime, eds., Fundamentals of Nonverbal Behavior (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1991).
6. The entrainment theory is proposed by Bernieri and Rosenthal, Fundamentals of Nonverbal Behavior.
7. Thomas Hatch, "Social Intelligence in Young Children," paper delivered at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association (1990).
8. Social chameleons: Mark Snyder, "Impression Management: The Self in Social Interaction," in L. S. Wrightsman and K. Deaux, Social Psychology in the '80s (Monterey, CA: Brooks/Cole, 1981).
9. E. Lakin Phillips, The Social Skills Basis of Psychopathology (New York: Grune and Stratton, 1978), p. 140.
10. Nonverbal learning disorders: Stephen Nowicki and Marshall Duke, Helping the Child Who Doesn't Fit In (Atlanta: Peachtree Publishers, 1992). See also Byron Rourke, Nonverbal Learning Disabilities (New York: Guilford Press, 1989).
11. Nowicki and Duke, Helping the Child Who Doesn't Fit In.
12. This vignette, and the review of research on entering a group, is from Martha Putallaz and Aviva Wasserman, "Children's Entry Behavior," in Steven Asher and John Coie, eds., Peer Rejection in Childhood (New York: Cambridge University Press, 1990).
13. Putallaz and Wasserman, "Children's Entry Behavior."
14. Hatch, "Social Intelligence in Young Children."
15. Terry Dobson's tale of the Japanese drunk and the old man is used by permission of Dobson's estate. It is also retold by Ram Dass and Paul Gorman, How Can I Help? (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1985), pp. 167-71.
PART THREE: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE APPLIED
Chapter 9. Intimate Enemies
1. There are many ways to calculate the divorce rate, and the statistical means used will determine the outcome. Some methods show the divorce rate peaking at around 50 percent and then dipping a bit. When divorces are calculated by the total number in a given year, the rate appears to have peaked in the 1980s. But the statistics I cite here calculate not the number of divorces that occur in a given year, but rather the odds that a couple marrying in a given year will eventually have their marriage end in divorce. That statistic shows a climbing rate of divorce over the last century. For more detaiclass="underline" John Gottman, What Predicts Divorce: The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 1993).