I realized that An-te-hai was not with me. I had forgotten that eunuchs were not allowed in certain religious areas.
The sound of chanting became louder. The huge Buddha in the middle of the hall smiled ambiguously. For a moment reality escaped me. I became one of the concubines on the floor. I could see myself carving gourds. I could see my skin wrinkle and then crease into folds. My hair was turning white and I could feel my teeth falling out.
“No!” I screamed.
The yoo-hoo-loos I carried fell from my hands.
The chanting stopped. Hundreds of heads turned in my direction.
I was unable to move.
The concubines stared at me. Their toothless jaws cracked open. Their hair was so thin that they looked bald.
I had never seen such grave-looking ladies. Their backs were hunched and their limbs reminded me of gnarled trees on the tops of mountains. There was no trace of past beauty on these faces. I couldn’t imagine any of them being the subject of an emperor’s passion.
The women raised their stick-thin arms toward the sky. Claw-like hands made scratching motions.
I felt an overwhelming sense of pity for them. “I’m Orchid,” I heard myself say. “How do you do?”
They rose, narrowing their eyes. Their expressions were predatory.
“We have an intruder!” came an ancient, trembling voice. “What do we do with her?”
“Pinch her to death!” was the crowd’s shrill response.
I threw myself on the floor and kowtowed repeatedly. I explained that it was wrong for me to intrude. I apologized and promised that they would never see me again.
But the women were determined to reach me and tear me apart. One woman pulled my hair, another punched my chin. I begged to be forgiven as I tried to back up toward the gate.
The women laughed hysterically, kicking, pushing and tossing me back and forth.
I was pinned to a wall. Several strong hands grabbed my throat. I could feel the long-nailed fingers pressing and cutting off my breath. The old faces crowded in on me like black clouds rolling over a sky. “Slut!” they cursed. “Now pray to Buddha before you die.”
Suddenly the crowd was distracted. An-te-hai had climbed on top of the gate and was now throwing down gourds loaded with rocks. “Toothless ghosts!” he yelled. “Go back! Back to your coffins!”
Nine
I SENT An-te-hai for Chief Eunuch Shim. When Shim arrived, I received him in my official court robe with full makeup and headdress. He was surprised.
“Lady Yehonala.” Shim got down on his knees and kept his eyes on the floor. “You needn’t be so formal. As your slave, Shim doesn’t deserve such respect.” He paused and raised his eyes to my knees. The half-revealed pupils made him look like a lizard. “I don’t mean to criticize, but Lady Yehonala, you should be careful. You can get both of us in trouble.”
“I am desperate, Chief Shim,” I said. “Please rise and have a seat.”
As I spoke, I signaled to An-te-hai, who brought out a carved golden box.
“Chief Shim, I have a humble gift for you.” I opened the box and took out the ruyi that Emperor Hsien Feng had given me.
Upon seeing the ruyi Shim nearly jumped. His eyes were so wide I thought his eyeballs would fall out of their sockets. “It is… it is His Majesty’s engagement gift to you, Lady Yehonala! It is an authenticated piece, a pledge. If you don’t know its value, allow me to-”
“I’m glad that you recognize the value.” I smiled. “However, I still would like you to have it.”
“Why, Lady Yehonala? Why?”
“I’d like to exchange it for a favor, Chief Shim.” I made him look me in the eye. “To tell you the truth, this ruyi is the last thing I own. I want to give it to you because I understand the value of your help.”
“Lady Yehonala, please. I… can’t accept it.” He got up, only to crash down on his knees again.
“Rise, Chief Shim.”
“I dare not!”
“I insist.”
“But Lady Yehonala!”
I waited until he was on his feet. “The ruyi”-I uttered each word with deliberation-“will be more valuable when I become the mother of Emperor Hsien Feng’s child.”
The expression on Chief Eunuch Shim’s face froze. He seemed to be transfixed by the possibility.
“Yes, Lady Yehonala.” He knocked his forehead on the floor.
I let him go on for a while and then said, “Thank you for helping me.”
Slowly Chief Eunuch Shim got up. He shook his sleeves and breathed deeply. A moment later, he was himself again. He seemed to be pleased and frightened at the same time. He took the ruyi from my hand and held it to his chest.
“Which date, my lady, would you like me to schedule you with His Majesty?” he asked, putting the ruyi in the inner pocket of his robe.
“Does the date make a difference?” I had not been prepared for such a quick response.
“A big difference, my lady. You want to see His Majesty on your most fertile days, don’t you?”
“That’s right.” I quickly calculated the dates.
“And the date is?”
“The fourteenth day of the next full moon.”
“Perfect, my lady. I’ll mark the date in my book right away. If you don’t hear from me, we are set. If everything goes right with His Majesty, you will be summoned on the fourteenth day of the next full moon. Until then, my lady.” He took a step back and then motioned toward the door.
“Wait.” I didn’t trust him. How could a date with Emperor Hsien Feng be so easily arranged? “Chief Shim, please bear with my questions. What if His Majesty wants to see other ladies on that day? How can you be sure to make him want me instead?”
“Don’t worry, my lady.” He smiled. “I have a way to bend the wind in the Forbidden City.”
“And that is to say…”
“That is to say if Emperor Hsien Feng expresses a desire to see any other lady-for example, Lady Li-I’ll say to him, ‘Your Majesty, Lady Li is unclean.’”
“Well, what about Lady Mei?”
“‘I’m sorry, your Majesty, Lady Mei is unclean too.’”
“So, everyone will have their cycle except the one you want to sleep with the Emperor?”
“Yes. I have succeeded many times.”
“I am counting on you to make it work for me, Chief Shim.”
“You needn’t worry, my lady. I’ll whet His Majesty’s appetite by telling him how delicious you are.”
But I did worry, and now I had only twelve days to prepare myself. I had no idea how to please a man in bed. I needed to be instructed immediately. I thought of Big Sister Fann and wished that I could speak with her, but there was no way I could get out of the Forbidden City. To ask for permission to leave, I had to lie. I sent An-te-hai to the Imperial household to report that my mother was ill and I needed to go home. Two days later, permission was granted for a ten-day leave. An-te-hai told me that I was lucky. Just a few weeks ago Lady Li had made the same request-her mother was truly ill-and been refused. Emperor Hsien Feng was taking his pleasure, and he would not release her. Lady Li’s mother had died.
“That shows how unimportant I am to His Majesty,” I said bitterly.
I arrived home at noon and immediately sent An-te-hai to fetch Big Sister Fann. My mother, Rong and Kuei Hsiang were thrilled to see me. Mother planned to take me shopping, but I begged her to stay home and not to leave the bed until my visit was over. I explained that I had lied to the Emperor, and that I could be beheaded if found out.