"What is it that I think you're not doing that you are doing? That girl is pining for you—"
"Her feelings. Not her needs. Not what's actually good for her. You think the worst danger she faces is having her feelings hurt."
Valentine felt the righteous anger bleed out of her. What danger was he talking about? What need did Alessandra have, beyond her need for Ender? What was Valentine missing?
Ender put his arms around her, hugged her, and then moved past her, out of the room, then out of the building. Valentine had no choice but to follow.
He moved briskly across the grassy square in the middle of the science complex—really, just four one-story structures where the handful of scientists worked on the biology and technology that kept the colonists and the colony running. Now, though, with the newcomers from the ship, the houses were teeming with people, and Ender had already asked the foremen of the crews to shift their priorities and get additional science buildings. The noise of building wasn't deafening, because there were few power tools. But the calling out of instructions, the shouted warnings, the pounding of axes and hammers, it was a vigorous sound, taken all together. The sound of deliberate, welcome change.
Did Ender really know exactly where the Toscanos would be? He certainly walked straight toward the place. And now that Valentine thought about it—analyzed, yes, Ender—she realized that Ender must have been waiting till the end of their visit, until the shuttle was loading up for the return trip. Not quite the last one, but the last that wouldn't be full of marines and crew. The last shuttle with room for nonessential passengers.
He cut it rather close, even so. Alessandra was standing forlorn at the bottom of the ramp, with her mother tugging at her sleeve, urging her to move on into the shuttle. Then she saw Ender coming toward her and broke away from her mother, running to Ender. Could the poor girl be any more obvious?
She flung her arms around Ender, and to his credit, he embraced her willingly. In fact, Valentine was surprised at the way he held her, nuzzling her shoulder with real affection. What did he mean by that? What was the girl going to think he meant? Ender, are you really that insensitive?
When she practically jumped into his arms, Ender took a step back to bear the sudden momentum; but he made sure to get his face down close to her ear.
"Sixteen is old enough to join a colony without parental permission," he said softly.
Alessandra pulled away from him, looked searchingly in his eyes.
"No," said Ender. "Nothing will happen between us. I'm not asking you to stay for me."
"Then why would you ask me to stay at all?"
"I'm not," said Ender. "I'm telling you how. Right now, right here, I can set you free from your mother. Not to take her place, not to take control of your life, but to let you take control of it. The question is, do you want it?"
Alessandra's eyes filled with sudden tears. "You don't love me?"
"I care about you," said Ender. "You're a good person who has never had a moment's freedom. Your mother controls your coming and going. She spins stories around you and eventually you always believe them and do what she wants. You barely know what you want. Here in Shakespeare, you'll find out. Up there, with your mother and Admiral Morgan, I wonder if you'll ever know."
She nodded, understanding. "I know what I want. I want to stay."
"Then stay," said Ender.
"Tell her," said Alessandra. "Please."
"No."
"If I talk to her, she'll find some reason why I'm being stupid."
"Don't believe her."
"She'll make me feel guilty. Like I'm doing something really awful to her."
"You're not. In a way, you're setting her free, too. She can have Morgan's children and not worry about you."
"You know about that? You know she's going to have children with him?"
Ender sighed. "We don't have time for this conversation now. Your mother's coming because the shuttle has to leave and she expects you to be on it. If you decide to stay, I'll back you up. If you go with her willingly, I won't lift a hand to stop you."
Then Ender stepped away from her, just as Dorabella arrived.
"I can see what he's doing," said Mother. "Promising you anything you want, just to get you to stay and become his plaything."
"Mother," said Alessandra, "you don't know what you're talking about."
"I know that whatever he promised you is a lie. He doesn't love you."
"I know he doesn't," said Alessandra. "He told me he doesn't."
It was rather satisfying to see how surprised Mother looked. "Then what was all that hugging about? The way he nuzzled you?"
"He was whispering in my ear."
"What did he say?"
"He only reminded me of something I already knew," said Alessandra.
"Tell me on the shuttle, my dear little fairy princess, because they're getting quite impatient. They don't want to make your father angry by arriving late."
It hadn't been a whole day since Alessandra told her mother never to call Quincy her "father," and she was already doing it again. That's how it always was—Mother decided how things should be, and nothing Alessandra did could change her. Instead Alessandra always had to change. Whatever Mother wanted, eventually Alessandra would go along with because it was easier. Mother made sure that doing things her way was always easier.
The only time I ever defied her was behind her back. When she wasn't looking, when I could pretend she wouldn't know. I walk in fear of her, even though she's not a monster like my grandmother. Or . . . or maybe she is, but I never defied her enough to find out.
I don't have to go with her. I can stay here.
But Ender doesn't love me. Who do I have here? No friends, really. People I know from the voyage, but they all related to Mother, not to me. They talked about me, right in front of me, because Mother did. When they did speak to me, it was to say the things that Mother had virtually commanded them to say. I have no friends.
Ender and Valentine were the only ones who treated me like a person in my own right. And Ender doesn't love me.
Why doesn't he love me? What's wrong with me? I'm pretty, I'm smart. Not as smart as he is, or Valentine is, but nobody's that smart, not even on Earth. He said he desired me, that time back on the ship. He wants me, but he doesn't love me. I'm just a body to him, just a big nothing, and if I stay here, I'll be reminded of that all the time.