Zenak Abi’s face becomes very serious. It nods once, then levels its gaze at me. "The purpose, child," Abi says in English, "is to cover my ass."
I am stunned, then I laugh. Through this crack in my grief all of the laughter I had confined for years explodes. When I can see again, Zenak Abi, too, is laughing.
FOUR
Abi leads me high up the mountain, deep into the frozen cleft between two peaks where the boulders stand on the ground like so many frost giants. The snow is fresh and ankle deep. I am not used to the cold and I feel my muscles growing numb, my thoughts coming slow and thick. It is the beginning of dark by the time we reach the entrance to Abi’s cave.
Before I enter I look down from the mountain toward the east. There the gentle hills of the Shorda spread to the horizon. Dull glows of red and orange beneath the haze show the death machines have not yet run out of fuel. They make me feel the fool yet again. So much blood, so much pain, so many years. If the fighting could have been stopped others would have stopped it long ago. Who is Yazi Ro to stop a war? Ro who still has bloody hands. I turn and enter the cave, pulling the cover cloth down behind me.
Inside it is much warmer. We sit on boxes and other containers salvaged from some ruin. One side of my container is cut, allowing me to sit on a springy seat of leafy branches and rest my back against the side opposite. Abi cooks cakes on the griddle it has made, filling the chamber with the smells of wood smoke and sweet spice.
"Have you heard anything about the new truce?" I ask. "There have been rumors. Nothing from the broadcast stations. Some say a rumor is all it is."
Abi slides two of the cakes onto a large leaf and hands them to me. "Before the truce could be signed, the Tean Sindie attacked the negotiation site, took everyone hostage, executed all of the humans, and admonished the Mavedah negotiators never again to negotiate with the monsters of the Front. Some tea?"
The Tean Sindie; children of the racehome world; the "pure Mavedah" whom no one seems able to control. They could have let the truce happen for a few days. Just a few.
I eat my cakes hot, allowing the warmth to radiate from my center to my limbs. It is quiet in the cave. Safe. I do not feel that I have to stand guard every second. Next to life on the dirt, the security I feel within that frozen mountain is strangely obscene.
With my belly full and my muscles relaxed for the first time since the founding, I put the Tean Sindie, truces, and Amadeen out of my mind and let sleep overtake me. At first l awaken, see Abi sitting on its crate, then drowse as images of love and war flit through the edges of my perception. A last look at Abi reading a book, then I give in, too weary to resist my dreams,
"The Selector," hisses a voice.
Choi Leh stands there above the children, paying no attention to the sounds of firing outside. Leh is massive, a horrible burn scar on the left side of its face, its left arm limp and dead at its side. Choi Leh’s leather clothes and boots are worn, its armor and weapon scarred. Ravin Nis, the Jetah of the lineless children, watches Choi Leh, eager to please, terrified not to. We all want to please the Selector, but our reasons are different. If we are chosen to fill the ranks of the Mavedah, we will eat.
Leh steps down from the dais and begins to walk among us, its stride long, and determined. The word passes among the children in whispers: "Mavedah. Mavedah."
"This one," says Leh nodding toward Vulrih Apisa, the largest of us. Hateful Apisa is cruel and a bully, but now its face is proud. "See here," says its expression. "I was the first chosen. I do matter. I am something." Ravin Nis takes Apisa by the arm and points toward the dais.
"This one," says Choi Leh, pointing at another, Nis following with whispered instructions to go to the dais. Choi Leh picks four more, then pauses before Bikudih Ri. Ri is small but eager to please. Leh lifts its good arm and smacks Ri’s head, sending the child to the floor. Choi Leh waits a moment watching Ri cry then moves on.
At last Choi Leh stands in front of me. I know I am very young, not as large as most, and the Mavedah Selector must doubt me. There will be a test. It looks down at me, its burns more horrible now that they are close. "My face," it growls. "Do you see something in it?"
"It is burned," I answer, still looking into its eyes. They are dark, more brown than yellow.
"Do you find it beautiful?" Leh asks.
"I find it ugly."
Choi Leh takes a swing at my head, I squat, and as the arm flashes above my head, I drive my head into Leh’s middle, right where I think its belly slit is. Leh cries out as it falls to the floor on its backside. Leh holds its middle, gasps, springs to its feet, and gives me another look.
"This one," Leh tells Ravin Nis, then the Selector moves on…
I awaken, sit up and look all around for threats. There is no one but the Jetah Talman, Zenak Abi. It is still reading, but it speaks. "It is time, Yazi Ro, to ask me your question. The one that is not about my trousers."
I lean forward, rub my face, and take a breath. Letting the breath escape, I lean back in the chair. Question. Do I even have a question? "I am not certain what to ask, Jetah."
Abi marks the book with a strip of blue cloth, closes it, and places it on his lap. Its eyes search me out. "What do you know of me?"
"You are insane and a traitor."
The Jetah’s brow mounts a puzzled frown. "I would think, Ro, that I cannot be both."
I look down and clasp my hands together. It is not important, I think. They are only words: the most traitorous things of all. "Jetah, it is said that before there was a war, you lived with the humans."
"True. Many of us did. The university they had in Hulon on the Dorado continent was Amadeen’s largest center of learning before the war. I taught there and had many human friends, teachers, and students. Does that make me a traitor?"
"No." I lean forward and point with my hands at the air. "I cannot imagine such a time."
Abi holds a hand to its chin and purses its lips. "You carry your years like a chain. How many? Ten, eleven?"
"I am seven, Jetah."
"Seven," repeats Abi, shaking its head after the manner of a human. "When I was your age I had already graduated from the Talman Kovah in Sendievu."
"On Draco?" I ask in surprise. Everyone I had ever known had been born on Amadeen.
"Of course. I came to Amadeen at the age of nine. That was eleven years before the war." Abi grins at me. "You look astonished, Yazi Ro."
I frown as I do my addition. "You must be over fifty years old!"
"Fifty-three on Draco. A little older in Amadeen years. My age doesn’t set any records."
I stand and pace before Abi. "Almost everyone I know is under ten. My parent was killed when it was only four. There are a few Mavedah warmasters in their twenties. One warmaster I met, Olta Cius, was twenty-nine at the time. It was the oldest Drac I ever met, until now."
Zenak Abi wipes a hand over the top of its head, sighs, and says, "We have established, Yazi Ro, that I am insane, traitorous, and terribly ancient, However, at this pace we will both be too old to retain a coherent thought by the time you get to your point."
I halt my pacing and look down at the Jetah. "Then, here it is. I have heard two things in the camps. First, it is said that when Zenak Abi studied the paths it did not see all paths locking Amadeen into this war. It is said you found a talma to peace."
Abi rubbed its chin and held up a single finger. "Half true. All paths do not prove this war necessary. I proved no path to peace, however."