Using her arm for a crutch, the child pulled itself up and began slapping her in the head.
"Aakva!"
"Are you crazy? Poorzhab?"
"Su aakva!" It kept slapping her head." Su lode aakva!"
"My head…" Her hair was burning! She grabbed both of the children, shut her eyes.
…and ran for the door, her feet kicking slowly through heavy oil, the heat taking the breath from her lungs, unseen things striking her head, the chilling wonder of a cold paving stone against which to place her face… voices… hands… an end to pain…
…Motion.
In some kind of vehicle. She could hear the hum and feel the roughness beneath the wheels. She tried to open her eyes, but she couldn’t.
She tried to lift a hand to touch her face, but her arm was bound. And numb. Her entire body was numb.
"Major Nicole? Can you hear me? Major Nicole?"
"Yes." The word came out harsh and dry. Her throat was on fire. "What’s happened?… Who are you?"
"You’ve been badly burned, and the field surgeon thinks you might also have a concussion."
"Mitzak?"
"Yes."
She swallowed, but there was nothing to swallow. "Throat dry."
She felt a tube inserted between her lips, she sucked on it, and a slightly cool, soothing liquid filled her mouth. The tube was withdrawn, and she swallowed. "Mitzak, what about the kids? The three Drac kids?"
"They are alive." He was silent for a long moment. "Three children out of a school of two hundred and sixty." He coughed. "You’re being taken to a health science kovah, Major."
They rode silently for a while, the roughness under the wheels smoothing out. "Mitzak, why are my eyes bandaged?"
"Burned. The field surgeon packed and bandaged them. I don’t know your prognosis. The surgeon never said." A sneer crept into Mitzak’s voice. "It was very busy. You know, the war and all."
"Where is… Sergeant Benbo?"
Mitzak coughed again. "They’re dead, major. Your soldiers. All of your soldiers. There were four direct hits on the V’Butaan field…"
Nicole grabbed the edges of her litter as the voice faded and the darkness of her universe swam…
FIVE
Nothingness is a tool of the mind: the useful naught of the mathematician, builder, and accounts keeper. Nothingness is not a state either of mind or of being. All that which exists will always exist; all who exist will always exist. All that changes is form and the perception, of form.
Time.
The perception of time ceased.
Darkness surrounded her.
The ointment on her face, neck, and hands removed sensation from them. She could feel her body, but it was as though her head were floating free of it. It was an almost pleasant feeling. She was freed from the sensory overkill of everything that had gone before. Even more, she was freed from the everyday distractions, allowing the senses she could use to sharpen, making commonplace things new and exciting.
There would be a buzz-an insect? A piece of electrical equipment? It was not important. The sound itself became a thing of substance, the peaks and valleys of the undulating waves surfaces upon which she could glide.
…The whine of compressors; the staleness of reprocessed air; dim talk:
"This is cargo I never thought would soil my ship."
Paper crackling.
"Read this. kiz for brains. and take good care of her."
An angry snort. a short silence, more paper crackling.
"Magasienna! This? This is the ward of the-"
"As I said. take good care of her…"
…She stopped her swim through blackness long enough to remember that sergeant who had explained her USEF insurance and liability retirement schedule.
So much for an arm, so much for a leg, so much for an eye…
…Her first assignment after officer’s school, shuffling electrons, keeping an eye on Drac commercial traffic. Intelligence had gotten the word from somewhere. They were preparing even then for the war; putting together the language, codes, slang, procedures, organization, power…
Dim voices in the distance… the hum of a strong electrical field…
…Analysis of the situation on Amadeen.
The humans requesting USEF units to protect them against Drac terrorists. Intercepting a message to the Dracon Fleet from the Amadeen Mavedah requesting Fleet protection against the terrorists of the Amadeen Front…
…The training officer in alien systems.
"To anticipate the moves of an opponent, you must be familiar with the rules that govern his thoughts, goals, and actions. What seems logical to you probably won’t seem logical to some frog-faced thing that never heard of Aristotle or Boole. But what seems logical to it probably won’t seem logical to you…
"…To be logical is to be consistent with a set of rules. And every race that exists in this galaxy has evolved its own set of rules; its own logic; its own unique perception of the universe and its relationship to that universe…
"…The ultimate nature of the universe is relationships, rules; what we call the laws of nature are rules common to most races. Everything else, the whole of intelligent life, is governed by rules of invention.
"Justice on the planet Aluram is a different thing than it is among humans. The criminals on Aluram, as well as the criminal’s parents, siblings, and children suffer the same punishment. If the punishment is death, all die. This is not justice through human eyes. But if you could see through the eyes of an Aluramin, it would be justice. The Aluramin decided good and bad for their race, then invented social sanctions against the bad. And whether bad behavior is a matter of environment or heredity, it makes good sense to remove those who do bad from the race’s gene pool. They have very little of what they call crime on Aluram.
"Very logical…"
Another day? Another week? Another year? The voices would fade in and out… the humming…
"…Mitzak?"
"I am here."
"Why? Why are you here?"
"It should not concern you."
"Why are you here?"
A laugh. "You have become a talma, Major. You are my path out of this war and back to the Talman Kovah."
"I don’t understand."
"There is no reason why you should…"
"…The Shikazu race of Tenuet founded its logic upon the premise that the Shikazu can never be conquered. The race flourished within this logic-this sense of the nature of the universe. Then the Shikazu were conquered, and now they are extinct…"
…She walked upon Baina Ya again, stood upon the slips beneath the chalk cliffs of Kidege, and looked out to the sea. Her hair blew in the cool salt breeze.