Nicole ate very little, and paid little attention to the merriment and conversation.
A desert of questions; only a few grains of answers.
There was a pause, and Nicole called Fanda to her side. "How may I serve you, Joanne Nicole?"
"Benbo. You must have met him, studied him."
"I did, yes."
"How is he?"
"When I left him, he was Ditaar vemadah. Since the USE captured Ditaar, I do not know."
She nodded. "Thank you."
Fanda returned to its companions and paired up with one of the "brass" named Tioct to perform a Drac love play. Nicole left the room and began feeling her way back to her apartment. In the silence of the corridor, there were footsteps following her. Nicole stopped walking; and the footsteps behind her stopped. She recognized them. "What do you want, Tora Kia? If you are Tora Kia?"
The footsteps moved to her side and stopped. "I am Tora Kia. You must believe that I was not a willing part of this game."
"I see that. What do you want?"
"Joanne Nicole, I am… confused."
"According to The Talman. that is the Drac’s natural state of affairs."
"I suppose that is one interpretation." Tora Kia’s breathing seemed uncomfortable. "There is something that… something that you should know."
"What is that?"
"That night, when I played the tidna and you came to the chamber. We sat together."
"And?"
"You touched my arm, placed your head on my shoulder-listened to my talk. I held you. It was dark."
"What are you trying to say, Kia?"
Kia’s boots moved uncomfortably on the stone floor. "It is not easily said. It is no longer dark."
"It is dark for me."
"My emotions were not in control. I… lost control."
"Control of what?"
More nervous movements. "Joanne Nicole, I… I have conceived."
"Conceived? You mean… Ha!" And then Nicole laughed so hard it hurt her ribs. It was a release of so many things.
"This humor, Joanne Nicole. I do not understand it. I have just told you that I will have a child. This is not amusing."
"Pregnant!"
"Yes!"
"I’d make… I’d make an honest Drac out of you, Kia; but… what would your parent say!?" She felt the remainder of her way into her apartment, tears of laughter running down her cheeks.
"I am honest!"
"Take no offense at my laughter, Kia. You would have to be a human to understand it… Congratulations. Congratulations, and all the-ah, hah!"
She closed the door to the corridor and collapsed upon the floor in laughter.
SIXTEEN
Passion is a creature of rules. This does not mean do not love, do not hate. It means that where your passion limits talma, you must step outside of the rules of your love and hate to allow talma to serve you.
Enroute to Hell. Human and Drac corpses roasting over the pit that was Amadeen. Could there be a war in which no one wants peace? On Earth ancient hates still burned the Semites. The United Kingdom and Northern Ireland had long ago been absorbed by the United States of Earth. Yet the night still brought the crack of guns, screams, tears-
"Joanne Nicole, the Ovjetah would speak to you."
She softened her meditation, let the feelings of her body reach her mind and the soft hum of the Dracon Fleet Ship Cueh reach her ears. She pushed up from the cushion and turned toward the voice. "Aal Thaya, where is the Ovjetah?"
"Tora Soam is in the ship’s screen display room with Mitzak and Tora Kia."
"I am coming."
She felt her way toward the door and pondered the absolute trust in Tora Soam, Kia, and Mitzak that she had built upon her absolute mistrust in everything. Truth is always a closely held variable to be tested against the constants of rules. And the rules are always creatures of some group’s or individual’s choice; again to be tested against more rules.
Maltak Di had said it: "Truth is an elastic to be measured against elastic rules of understanding and procedure."
And faith is a form of mental blockage founded in the belief that either the truths, the measures, or both are inflexible-givens.
There was an instrument of Drac invention that could have been placed upon her back. It would have pressed dull needles against her back, letting her feel the diagrams that others could see with their eyes. She had refused it. Without her eyes, she was seeing more than she ever had seen before. Nicole could not risk something that would interfere with her vision.
She entered the screen room and sensed the others in the room with her. No one spoke. She felt her way to a couch and sat down. In a few moments a door opened and she heard Tora Soam’s familiar footsteps enter the room. Tora Soam spoke, Its voice evidencing passion by its cold lack of emotion. "I have this to tell you. The Dracon Chamber has cleared our mission to Amadeen. We are officially attached to the Amadeen negotiations. You will be appraised of the details in a few moments. But I want you to understand this: The principle Drac negotiator at Amadeen was named Heliot Vant-"
"No!" Tora Kia’s footsteps moved across the compartment. "It is not true-"
"Heliot Vant has been murdered, and the negotiations are in shambles." There was a silence, then Kia moved back to its couch and sat down. Tora Soam spoke to them all. "Your task is to find the path we need to find peace. But if you should find it within your power to discover who murdered my dear friend, Heliot Vant, you will find my gratitude to be without limit. We shall arrive at the orbiter in less than three days. Prepare yourselves."
Mitzak spoke: "Ovjetah, your desire to find this murderer-if murder is the fact-is beside the talma to resolve this war; and might contradict it."
"Perhaps, Mitzak. None of us knows. If this murderer’s reckoning serves a part of this talma, it will serve us all. If it does not, I would know the murderer’s name. I am more than qualified to construct my own talma-one that will not limit the talma of peace."
Tora Soam’s footsteps left the compartment. Mitzak stood and spoke. "In the space of a few seconds, the Ovjetah’s view has been narrowed from the universe to a single victim. Kia, you must talk to your parent."
"I can tell my parent nothing that it does not already know, Mitzak."
"Can Tora Soam see how its view cripples talma?"
Tora Kia sat silently for a few moments. "Mitzak, your records show that you used to belong to a celibate religious sect."
"And?"
"Perhaps you do not understand the ties between those who cause and make family lines. Heliot Vant and my parent joined to conceive me."
"I did not know." Nicole could hear Mitzak take a step toward the door, and turn. "However, Tora Kia, perhaps that is why I can see how this event limits the goals and paths visible to your parent If someone wanted to cripple your parent’s usefulness by manipulating its rules of passion, that someone could do worse than to kill Heliot Vant." Mitzak turned and left the compartment.
Kia let escape a breath. "Mitzak is correct. But he does not know my parent’s ability to overcome adversity." There were the sounds of Kia moving about on its couch. "Joanne Nicole, your records show that you gave birth to a child."