Nadiah nodded sympathetically, still holding Trin’s hand.
“I understand,” she said quietly. “But tell me more. Tell it all—you need to.”
Trin knew she was right. But when she got to the part about what had been done to her in the temple of the Goddess of Judgment, she found she couldn’t look at the blonde girl as she spoke. Instead, she looked down at her bare feet in the purple-green grass and tried to tell the part about Swift and Silk quickly.
When she finally explained how she had been blood cursed and her mother had disowned her, she was almost afraid to look at Nadiah again. When she did, she saw, to her surprise, that the other girl’s greenish-blue eyes had turned completely green—a pure, brilliant emerald that seemed to blaze from her face.
And the pure green eyes were filled with tears.
“Uh…” Trin wasn’t sure what to say—was this normal? “Nadiah…your eyes,” she said hesitantly. “Are you crying?”
“Daughter…” The voice that spoke from Nadiah’s lips was soft and kind but it was not Nadiah’s. It was warm and feminine and filled with such power it filled Trin with awe to hear it. “Daughter,” said the voice again. “I weep for thee. Your pain and shame is mine. I take it on myself and I absolve thee.”
“You what?” Trin asked hesitantly. “I don’t understand.”
“For the sins you have committed and the ones you think you have committed, you are forgiven,” said the voice.
“Oh…” Trin whispered. Though she still didn’t fully understand, she suddenly felt filled to overflowing with some vast, profound emotion she couldn’t even name to herself. Somehow she knew she was in the presence of a deity—a being far wiser and infinitely older than herself. All around them the entire grove seemed to have hushed itself in a kind of holy reverence.
“Your holiness…Goddess?” Trin shifted a little. There was something she wanted to know, but she was almost afraid to speak to the presence that was talking to her through Nadiah.
“Do not fear. Speak your question.”
“Are you…the Goddess of the Kindred?”
“I am.”
“But…it was the other Goddess—my Goddess that I offended,” Trin explained haltingly. “The Goddess of Judgment. So how can you forgive me when she is the one I sinned against?”
“You are hers no longer, for I claim you as my own, daughter,” the voice assured her. “Fear not—all your wrongs are made right.”
“But, well…I was undergoing a…a cleansing ceremony,” Trin tried to explain. “I had to pay for my sins and I tried but…I couldn’t. Nothing I did was enough.”
“My forgiveness is freely offered—you have only to accept it. And then forgive yourself.”
Forgive yourself. It was exactly what Becca and Charlie had been telling her for days but somehow it seemed to make sense now. Trin felt something begin to loosen in her chest—a knot she hadn’t even known was there, pulled tight around her heart—was slowly being untied. The dullness that had consumed her—the wish to lie down and sleep and never wake up—suddenly blew away.
Trin took a deep breath and felt fully alive as she hadn’t since before she entered the temple of the Goddess of Judgment. It was as though she’d had a dark cloud surrounding her for days and a fresh, sweet wind had swept it far out to sea where it could never bother her again.
“I…I’ll try,” she whispered. “I’ll try to…to forgive myself.”
“You must go and be healed.” Nadiah’s soft fingertips brushed lightly over her welted arm. “When you are healed without, you will also be healed within.”
“All right.” Trin wasn’t quite sure she understood that but she was willing to go with it. Still, she had one more concern. “But…what about the blood curse?”
Nadiah’s slim hand passed over her cheek slowly.
“There is no curse,” the voice promised. “I lift it from you. There is now no shame or fear or condemnation. There is only love.”
“Love,” Trin echoed softly. Suddenly she was able to name the emotion that was filling her—it was joy. A joy so pure and sweet she hadn’t felt anything like it since childhood. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you so much…”
Suddenly Nadiah closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they were back to their normal color of greenish-blue.
“Um…Nadiah?” Trin looked at her uncertainly. Was she back?
“Yes.” The other girl smiled. “You’ve spoken to the Goddess, haven’t you?”
“I did.” Trin looked at her in wonder. “I really did.”
“And what did she say?” Nadiah asked, pressing her hand.
“That she forgives me and that…she loves me and claims me for her own.” Trin felt joy welling up in her soul again. “She lifted the blood curse! And told me that that…that I didn’t have to pay for my sins. She forgave me freely.”
Nadiah smiled gently. “That’s the way the Goddess works. She loves her children so much—she never wants to see them hurt or in pain. Sometimes we face difficult trials and seemingly impossible situations but the Goddess is always near and she always makes sure we get through it.”
“I believe it,” Trin said. “I believe in her. She spoke to me through you.”
“That’s part of my job—I’m the Mouthpiece of the Goddess.” Nadiah smiled. “She chooses many different ways to communicate with her children. I’m glad she chose me to communicate with you.”
“I’m glad too.” Trin smiled and realized it was the first smile she’d had in days. She raised her fingers to her face and traced the curve of her lips. “It’s so surprising…I felt like…like I’d never smile again. Never be happy again,” she said wonderingly. “And I felt so guilty for…for letting myself love Thrace and express that love physically.”
“The Goddess approves of the love between those she has brought together. She has restored your soul.” Nadiah squeezed her hand. “You are healed—on the inside, anyway.” Her eyes traced the welts that still marred Trin’s skin.
“She said something about that—she said that if I was healed on the outside, I’d be completely healed on the inside too.” Trin frowned. “But I’m not sure what she meant by that. Maybe just that I should go to a doctor and do what he tells me?”
“Maybe,” Nadiah agreed.
“I didn’t want to before,” Trin confessed. “I didn’t want to do anything but sleep until…until I died. Until the blood curse killed me. But now I want to live.”
“You will live…a long and happy life.” Nadiah smiled at her. “You’ll have some hardships along the way but always remember the Goddess is watching out for you. And that she has a very special purpose for your life.”
“She does?” Trin whispered.
Nadiah nodded. “She does. And now you need to go. I believe there is someone you need to see in order to complete the task the Goddess gave you. You need to be healed.”
“All right.” Trin nodded her head, feeling her strength and hope and purpose return. She gestured at her arms. “I’m tired of looking like this. I’m going to see if there’s anything I can do to look normal again.”
“You will be made well.” Nadiah smiled at her. “And, Trin—you are loved and forgiven—a child of the Goddess. Always remember that.”
“I will,” Trin whispered. Impulsively she threw her arms around Nadiah’s neck and hugged her. The other girl hugged her back, enfolding her in an embrace that was kind and comforting. “Thank you so much. I will.”