“Shut up, faggot,” I say.
“Come thhut me up,” the faggot say. “But you probably ain’t got nothin that can thhut me up.”
The audience laugh.
The faggot say, “The female in the red top.”
“Cleona,” Snookie Cane say.
“Cleona,” the faggot say. “Cleona, you need to jutht cut him loothe and find you a man.”
“What you know bout men?” I say and try to laugh.
“Honey, I know all about men,” he say.
The audience laugh.
“Shit,” I say under my breath. I looks back at Mama and she sho ‘nough cryin now.
Snookie Cane see my mama cryin and walk down to her, put the mike in her face. “Who are you, ma’am?” she ax.
“I’m his mother,” Mama say.
“Why are you cryin Mrs. Jenkins?” Snookie Cane ax.
“I didn’t raise him up to be like this,” Mama say.
“You made your mother cry,” Snookie Cane say.
“She always be cryin,” I says. “Ain’t nuffin new.”
The audience yell at me.
Snookie Cane put the microphone in front of a fat white dude. “He can’t respect these here women cause he don’t even respect his own mother.”
“Good point,” Snookie Cane say.
“But wait,” Snookie Cane say to the audience, then to me, “Van Go Jenkins, we have another surprise for you.”
“Yeah, what that be?”
“Where do you work now?” Snookie Cane ax.
“I’m in between jobs,” I say.
“Don’t you work for a family named Dalton?” she ax.
I don’t say nuffin.
“Do you know the Daltons?” she ax.
“Yeah, I know ‘em,” I says.
“What about Penelope Dalton?” Snookie Cane ax.
I looks at the door on the stage and then behind me. What Penelope gone be on this show for? “Is she here?” I ax.
“No, Van Go, she’s not here, but these gentlemen are,” Snookie Cane say.
And two policemans come through the door to my right.
“It seems you stepped over the line last night, Van Go,” Snookie Cane say, steppin down to beside my mama. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Jenkins,” she say.
The cops is walkin at me.
Snookie Cane say, “It seems our guest raped a woman last night. At least that’s the allegation.”
I jump up out the chair and run for the other door. There be two cops there too. Fuck! I run for the back of the stage and I see Mad Dog’s face and he just as cool as shit. He don’t even get up. He say, “They ain’t after me.”
I run through the audience. That faggot try to stop me, but I runs right through him, kick him with my knee and he go down. People be tryin to grab me and I get thrown back to the front. I’m next to Mama. Mama be cryin. I’m right next to Snookie Cane. She don’t look real. The policemans are about to grab me. I drop down on my knees and start crawlin through legs. I’m trippin people and knockin ‘em over. I gets to the door in back and punch a security guard. I run. I gets out that building and I run out the studio and past the parkin lot and down a steep bank and across the highway and some railroad tracks. My heart is beatin, beatin, beatin.
Ate
So I gets away from the police and hangs around some alleys for a while. I gots a coupla dollars my mama give me before the telebision show, but I dont wanna spend it yet. But I be hongry as shit. I think it aint a good idea to go back to my hood, but that where I gotta be. I knows the streets and places to hide. I go to the grade school and kicks up in the shadows by the door and looks at the basketball courts. I hears some footprints comin my way, but there aint noplace for me to run, so I stay sunk down in the dark.
“Go, nigger, you here?” the voice call out. I recognizes it as Reynisha.
“That you, Reynisha?” I ax.
“Yeah, it me,” she say. “Come on out from dem shadows.”
“You by yo’self?” I ax.
“Yeah,” she say. “I dint think you was gonna get away from there. Them police still lookin through the studio.”
“Take mo’ than twenty police to catch me,” I say. “You come lookin fo’ me?”
“Yeah,” she say. “Come on down.”
I step out the shadows and down the steps and stand in front of her. “What you want?” I look at the street and down the block. “You got any money or food?”
“No, nigger, but I gots this fo’ yo’ ass,” she say and she pull out that nine and point it at me.
“Shit, Reynisha,” I say. “Is that muthafucka loaded?”
“Dame straight it loaded, you sorry son of a bitch,” she say. “I’m gone shoot yo’ ass dead and get you out my baby’s life fo’ good.”
“Chill out, baby doll,” I say.
She laugh. “Baby Doll?” she say and shake her head. “You got some fuckin nerve.”
“What you talkin bout, baby?” I say. “You know you aint wanna shoot me now, do you?”
“Oh, I wanna shoot you. There aint no question bout that,” she say. “I wanna shoot you and let somebody else clean up the blood.”
“Give me the gun, Reynisha,” I says and I take a step her way.
“One mo’ step and it will be yo’ last,” she say.
“What you want?” I ax.
“I wanna shoot you, stupid,” she say.
“You want money?” I ax.
“You know you aint got no money,” she say.
“Who that?” I say, lookin at the street. When she look, I takes the pistol from her. “Woooo. I’m glad I a smart muthafucka. So, you was gonna shoot my ass?”
“Damn straight,” she say, mad even though I got the gun.
“You lucky you my baby’s mama,” I say. “If you wasn’t I be puttin a bullet right tween yo’ eyes.” I put the barrel of the pistol on her forehead.
“You aint got the balls,” she say.
I dont pay her no attention. I pull the gun back and look at it. “I been wantin and needin me one of these.”
“Gimme my gun back,” she say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“You a big man, right?” she say.
I feels the weight of the pistol in my hand. “I is now,” I say. “I is now.”
“I’m gone tell ‘em you got a gun,” she say.
“Tell ‘em,” I say. I be lookin at the gun, the way it look in my hand, feelin the weight of it. “You go ‘head and tell ‘em.”
“What you gone do?” she ax.
“What that mean to you?” I say. “I got what I want from you and you kick them Hush Puppies on down the road.”
“I hope they kill yo’ ass,” she say.
“Yeah,” I say. “Me, too. They kills everybody else. So, why not me?”
I’m walkin downtown now. Just in case Reynisha go runnin to the cops and tellin ‘em she seen me in the hood. I be feelin the nine in my pocket and my head feel light. Then I see this cop cruiser comin toward me on the street. I ducks into a store. The store be full of stereos and telebisions and I think it would be cool as hell to actually have me one of them fine stereos. I wanna use my gun and take one. But the stereo be heavy and the cops be outside. I aint stupid. And there on the screen, on screen after screen down the row, is me, me on the Snookie Cane Show. Me in front of everybody. Me on telebision. I be lookin good and then the police come in. Then they rolls the tape back and show it again. Over and over. On screen beside screen beside screen. And there be this fat bitch standin down in front of a big screen and she look at me and I looks away. I walks on out back to the street where that cruiser been. But the cops aint there when I gets out. I heads down this alley and that, this street and that until I be back at the hood.
I sits under a tree in the park across from the licker sto’ and looks at my pistol. It be so black and shiny. It like a black diamond. It like money that aint money yet.