“Not to me. Don’t you get that? I’d come so close—so very close—to finding the cure. To having it all, everything I’d ever hoped and dreamed and wished for. The darkness lifted. My humanity restored. And you, Violet.” He brushed the back of one hand down the side of my face, eliciting a shiver that racked my entire body.
“Especially you,” he continued. “It was within my grasp, and now it’s gone, all of it. I can’t go back, not now. Don’t you see? All I had, all I lived for, was that hope. And now—now I have nothing. Nothing to live for, to hope for. Would you really wish that existence on me?”
The pain in his voice ripped my heart in two, and yet . . . call me selfish, but yes. Yes, I’d wish that on him. I couldn’t bear the thought of the alternative.
“There’s got to be some other way,” I said in desperation. “We just . . . go along with it for now. Do whatever they need you to do to win the war and secure peace, and then we can renegotiate.”
“The Vampire Tribunal doesn’t negotiate, Vi. Surely you must know that by now.”
“Bu-but you’ll be their leader,” I stammered. “They’ll have to do whatever you say.”
“My guess is that I’ll be their leader in the same fashion that the Eldest is now—in name only. A puppet, nothing more. You heard what Mrs. Girard said—she wants me to take my place by her side. By putting me there, she becomes the most powerful vampire alive, not me.”
I digested that in silence. He was probably right, I realized. It made sense, especially with what I knew about female vampires. They were far more powerful, more aggressive than males. Still, it was our only hope. And I wasn’t ready to give up, even if he was.
“I’m not letting you go back to that prison, Aidan. They can’t destroy you—she said so herself. So you just leave. You go.”
His lips curved with the trace of a smile. “Go where?”
“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “Somewhere. Anywhere. I’ll go with you.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “They’ll find us, Violet. They’ll hunt us down, to the far corners of the earth. It’s no use.”
“How do you know they will?”
“Because they think they need me. Nicole can’t access the kind of absolute power she wants without me. They’re not going to give up, not without a fight.”
“But if they can’t destroy you—”
“Even if they can’t, they can overpower me, hold me captive. They can do whatever else the hell they want to me. Trust me, Dauphin or no, they had the best of me these past two months. Look at me—I’m weak. I’m young and inexperienced, as far as vampires go. They think I’m some mythical creature, a prophesized savior. Well, you know what I think? I think they’re wrong. I can’t save anyone, least of all myself. I’m just a dead man walking.”
14 ~ Metamorphosis
Aidan struggled to sit up, wincing as he did so. He looked entirely drained after that last outburst.
I offered a hand, tugging him forward as I pushed the bed’s single pillow behind his back. “You okay?”
“Just . . . exhausted.”
I gave his hand a squeeze. “I am not letting you go, Aidan. Seriously. We’ve got to figure something out. We can talk to Matthew, see if he has any ideas.”
“Matthew? Oh, right. Dr. Byrne. How is that . . . relationship . . . working out?”
“It’s good. He’s been like a brother to me—an overprotective big brother. And he’s been working on your cure. Actually Matthew, Tyler, and Sophie are all working on it together.”
“Tyler? Now, that’s a surprise. I thought your little friend was the one who was ready to hand me over to the authorities from the get-go. I should think he’d be gloating.”
“Nope. Believe it or not, he’s going to be glad that you’re back. Crazy, right?”
He dropped his gaze, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m serious. You’re not going anywhere.” I tightened my grip on his hand for emphasis.
“I like that you’re wearing my ring,” he said, changing the subject. “My grandmother’s ring. It looks perfect there, doesn’t it?” He lifted my hand, turning it so he could examine it from all angles. “I noticed it the moment you stepped into Mrs. Girard’s office, you know.”
“I can’t keep it. Any of it, now that you’re back.”
“Of course you can. All the paperwork is in order. I assume you found it all?”
I just nodded.
“And the flowers? I left very specific instructions.”
“The flowers were there.” I could still remember their sweet, citrusy scent. “If you were trying to break my heart, you did an excellent job. Just so you know.”
“I never, ever meant to hurt you.” The pain, the undisguised despair in his eyes nearly stole away my breath.
I wanted to erase that pain. To heal his broken body, his broken spirit. Leaning in to him, I pressed my lips tenderly against his forehead. His eyes fluttered shut, a low moan escaping his lips as I feathered a kiss over one eyelid, then the other. His arms stole around me, drawing me against him till there was no space between our bodies.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I murmured, my lips trailing lower, toward the corner of his mouth before moving on to his jaw, his chin. “You’re really and truly here.”
One of my hands slid under his shirt, across the hard planes of his chest, while the other tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck, as silky and soft as ever.
“Dear God, Violet,” he said, his voice a hoarse whisper.
“Dear God, Violet, what? Keep going?” I paused, my mouth hovering just above his parted lips. “Or dear God, Violet, stop now before you kill me?”
In response, his head bent toward me, his lips brushing softly against mine. I froze, temporarily paralyzed now, terrified that if I opened my eyes I’d find myself alone, awakened from a hazy dream. He’d be gone, a figment of my overactive imagination.
Please be real, I silently pleaded. Please.
When his lips found mine again, they were more persistent—less tentative, more demanding. I let out a whimper, overcome with a sudden sense of familiarity. His taste, his scent—the memories flooded back, overwhelming me. It seemed like both a lifetime ago and just yesterday that he’d last held me in his arms. An eternity and a split second, all at once.
Desire exploded inside me. Somehow, I ended up straddling him, my knees on either side of his waist as I kissed him back with a hunger I hadn’t even known I’d possessed. There was a fire in my belly now, urgent and hot. I was not letting him go. I was never letting him go.
His hands were fisted into the bed’s covers now, the air between us electric. Every moan, every shift of his body beneath mine made the fire inside me burn brighter, hotter. We kissed until we were breathless, and then I dragged my mouth away.
Our gazes met, his eyes as glassy and unfocused as mine, but still rimmed in red. Dangerously red, I realized. Still, the heat in his stare made it impossible for me to stop, to move off him and seek safety before things went too far. Instead, I slid lower, pressing my lips against the side of his neck, down to his collarbone. Pushing aside the soft cotton of his T-shirt, my mouth trailed lower.
Aidan made a sound deep in his throat and then released his death grip on the covers to grab the hem of his shirt and tug it over his head. I leaned back, my hands resting on the spot where the waistband of his jeans met his bare skin, just below the jutting curve of his hipbones. My breath hitched in my chest, my fingers itching to slip under that waistband, to brush across his silky skin. He wanted it, too—the evidence was pretty hard to ignore. He wouldn’t stop me, not now, no matter how far I decided to push it.