Sometimes the patient loses an entire half of his field of vision. It seems to him that half of the world has disappeared, or that it was never there in the first place, and he is gripped by a feeling of incomprehensible, overwhelming loss. Yet in other instances the experience is one of enlightenment. I remember when I was about thirteen or so, cycling along a country lane. Suddenly I feel as if I have lived this moment before, in the same place, though I have never travelled this road before. An extraordinary feeling of stillness comes upon me. This summer afternoon has always existed; I am arrested in an endless moment. I stop. My hands, my lips, my nose, my tongue are tingling. The sensation spreads through my whole body. Now it affects my eyes. As I look at the trees, the grass, the clouds, they exhibit a silent boiling. Everything is quivering and streaming upwards in a kind of ecstasy, the hum of crickets all around like a buzz of colour corresponding to the sound I hear. My body is vibrating to everything around me.
Standing in the vestibule of 14 Exchange Place, watching the rain pour down, I felt an overwhelming nostalgia. In my mind’s eye I hovered above that scene of half a century ago, watching over the person I was then as if he were someone else, a thirteen-year-old boy who stands entranced by everything around him, not knowing or caring what will become of him in the years that lie ahead, for all that matters is now.
The Winding Stair
The black limousine was waiting. Gordon and Kilpatrick seated themselves in the passenger cabin. The limousine drove off into the night. The book, said Gordon, let’s call it X for now, open it. At random. Kilpatrick did as he was told. He opened the book at page 287. Read the first sentence, said Gordon. Kilpatrick read: In 1912 Edmund Edward Fournier d’Albe invented the optophone, which, by converting the light refracted from a page of printed matter into musical notes, enabled a blind person to read. Gordon clapped his hands together. Capital! he cried. You might say it is coincidence that we read about the blind on our way to see a blind man. But in our line of work there are no coincidences. You know the way you sometimes enter a library, in search of information; you’ve no idea where to begin looking, and yet something directs you to a particular shelf, to take down a particular book, for no good reason as far as you can tell, but it turns out to be the very book you need. And often the first sentence you read is just what you’ve been looking for, though you didn’t know it until then. Some call this phenomenon the Library Angel. But there are those amongst us who prefer to ascribe it to the work of the Invisibles. We call such passages of text Unseens. As it happens, John Bourne has developed a modified optophone for his painting. Essentially a simple concept, you translate colour wavelength into sound wavelength, I don’t know the exact correspondences, say the note C is white, F-sharp black, G red, and so on through the spectrum. So you can see, or rather hear, that a work by John Bourne is a musical experience as well as a visual one. And of course the converse is true, you can translate sound into colour. Come to think of it, you could translate anything into anything. Scent, taste, whatever. You could have an aromaphone, for example. Anyway, Bourne’s working on a series at present, Bach’s The Art of Fugue.
Contrapunctus XIV, said Kilpatrick. Yes? said Gordon. Well, said Kilpatrick, the café where I met Freddy Gabriel, it was playing on the sound system, it’s the last movement of The Art of Fugue, Freddy came in on the last few bars. Did he now? said Gordon. I wouldn’t put it past Freddy to have engineered it, set it up as a conversation piece. Whatever the case, it goes to show us yet again that there’s no such thing as coincidence, said Gordon. Everything’s part of a larger narrative. We’re all trying to make sense of what we see, but of course the visual input and the means of processing it are extraordinarily complex, multiple feedback loops at every stage of the hierarchy. Let’s say there’s a black box at every stage. But you open the black box, and what does it contain? Why, a whole labyrinth of smaller black boxes. So we sort out what’s what by going through a series of iterations, eliminating those that don’t fit the parameters as we think of them. We seem to see things in a split second, but there’s any number of other split seconds behind that one. It’s as if each of us is hallucinating all the time and what we call perception involves merely selecting the one hallucination that best matches the current input, a plausible narrative if you like. Makes sense to us, anyway. So let me posit a little scenario.
A writer, let us call him K, said Gordon, is spending a sojourn in Paris. He is researching a book about Paris which will include extracts from books set in Paris, matching them to the relevant locations. It is an enterprise of some complexity, for sometimes the correspondence between extract and location is tenuous, especially in works of fiction; or the location has changed, or has been redeveloped beyond all recognition. The Les Halles quarter is a case in point. No matter. K enjoys these investigations of how things appear in books and how they appear in the world, sometimes imagining himself to walk in the footsteps of a fictional character and seeing the world through his eyes. He could be in a motion picture, complete with incidental music: a Bach fugue, say, for all that K’s memory of the piece is impressionistic and diverges somewhat from an actual performance. No matter. In his mind they set the atmosphere. For a while things go unremarkably. He visits places he has visited in the past, and loses himself in places he has never been. He describes these peregrinations in a notebook. One day he sees a man who bears an uncanny resemblance to someone who once played an important role in K’s life. He gives the man a name, John Bourne. The man vanishes. One thing leads to another … But we have arrived at our location, said Gordon. He pushed a button on the armrest and it slid open to reveal a radio. L’oiseau chante avec ses doigts, he said into it, and the radio replied, Et l’homme chant avec ses ailes.
The limousine came to a halt by a piece of wasteland. It was a quarter of Paris unfamiliar to Kilpatrick. As in a bomb site from some war or other, tall ruined buildings stood at one end of a skyline overlooking an area of rusted metal and broken masonry. The two men picked their way through the rubble. Here, said Gordon. He scuffled a few bricks out of the way to reveal a cast-iron manhole cover. Kilpatrick could not read the writing, but it looked ancient. Gordon produced two long iron T-shaped bars from his pocket. He gave one to Kilpatrick. Takes two to shift it, he said. Put the key in the slot, like this, he said, and he did so. Kilpatrick followed suit. They heaved together, and the iron lid came off not without struggle. It clanked heavily when they lowered it to the ground. Gordon replaced the keys and produced an electric torch from his pocket. I’ll light the way, he said, and Kilpatrick could see in the yellow beam a series of iron rungs going down until they disappeared into darkness. He followed Gordon down the ladder, rung after rung, until they landed in a chamber lined with shelves on which were arrayed human skulls. Old catacombs, said Gordon, there’s a veritable labyrinth of them down here. We go this way. He opened a door with another key from his pocket and they entered a winding passageway. A winding stair. Yet another door, another key. Nearly there, said Gordon. They came to another door again. Gordon halted before it, switched off his torch, and the door swung open of its own accord. Take my hand, and watch the step, said Gordon, as they stepped down into a room that was completely dark.