"No. WHY, do you want to adopt me?"
Pinero shook his head sadly. "I am very sorry for you, my dear Luke. You will die before tomorrow."
"SCIENCE MEET ENDS IN RIOT"
"SAVANTS SAPS SAYS SEER"
"DEATH PUNCHES TIMECLOCK"
"SCRIBE DIES PER DOC'S DOPE"
"HOAX' CLAIMS SCIENCE HEAD"
"... within twenty minutes of Pinero's strange prediction, Timons was struck by a falling sign while walking down Broadway toward the offices of the Daily Herald where he was employed.
"Doctor Pinero declined to comment but confirmed the story that he had predicted Timons' death by means of his so - called chronovitameter. Chief of Police Roy..."
Does the FUTURE worry You????????
Don't waste money on fortune tellers -
Consult Doctor Hugo Pinero, Bio - Consultant
to help you plan for the future by
infallible scientific methods.
No Hocus - Pocus. No "Spirit" Messages.
$10,000 Bond posted in forfeit to back
our predictions. Circular on request.
SANDS of TIME, Inc.
Majestic Bldg., Suite 700
(adv.)
- Legal Notice
To whom it may concern, greetings; I, John Cabot Winthrop III, of the firm Winthrop, Winthrop, Ditmars & Winthrop, Attorneys - at - Law, do affirm that Hugo Pinero of this city did hand to me ten thousand dollars in lawful money of the United States, and instruct me to place it in escrow with a chartered bank of my selection with escrow instructions as follows:.
The entire bond shall be forfeit, and shall forthwith be paid to the first client of Hugo Pinero and/or Sands of Time, Inc. who shall exceed his life tenure as predicted by Hugo Pinero by one per centurn, or to the estate of the first client who shall fail of such predicted tenure in a like amount, whichever occurs first in point of time.
I do further affirm that I have this day placed this bond in escrow with the above related instructions with the Equitable - First National Bank of this city.
Subscribed - - and sworn,
John Cabot Winthrop Ill
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 2nd day of April, 1951.
Albert M. Swanson
Notary Public in and for this county and state
My commission expires June 17, 1951.
"Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Radio Audience, let's go to Press! Flash! Hugo Pinero, The Miracle Man from Nowhere, has made his thousandth death prediction without a claimant for the reward he posted for anyone who catches him failing to call the turn. With thirteen of his clients already dead it is mathematically certain that - he has a private line to the main office of the Old Man with the Scythe. That is one piece of news I don't want to know before it happens. Your Coast - to - Coast Correspondent will not be a client of Prophet Pinero..."
The judge's watery baritone cut through the stale air of the courtroom. "Please, Mr. Weeds, let us return to our muttons. This court granted your prayer for a temporary restraining order, and now you ask that it be made permanent. In rebuttal, Mr. Pinero claims that you have presented no cause and asks that the injunction be lifted, and that I order your client to cease from attempts to interfere with what Pinero describes as a simple - lawful business. As you are not addressing a jury, please omit the rhetoric and tell me in plain language why I should not grant his prayer."
Mr. Weeds jerked his chin nervously, making his flabby Grey dewlap drag across his high stiff collar, and resumed:
"May it please the honorable court, I represent the public - "
"Just a moment. I thought you were appearing for Amalgamated Life Insurance."
"I am, Your Honor, in a formal sense. In a wider sense I represent several other major assurance, fiduciary, and financial institutions; their stockholders, and policy holders, who constitute a majority of the citizenry. In addition we feel that we protect the interests of the entire population; unorganized, inarticulate, and otherwise unprotected."
"I thought that I represented the public," observed the judge dryly. "I am afraid I must regard you as appearing for your client - of - record. But continue; what is your thesis?"
The elderly barrister attempted to swallow his Adam's apple, then began again. "Your Honor, we contend that there are two separate reasons why this injunction should be made permanent, and, further, that each reason is sufficient alone. In the first place, this person is engaged in the practice of soothsaying, an occupation proscribed both in common law and statute. He is a common fortune teller, a vagabond charlatan who preys on the gullibility of the public. He is cleverer than the ordinary gypsy palm - reader, astrologer, or table tipper, and to the same extent more dangerous. He makes false claims of modern scientific methods to give a spurious dignity to his thaumaturgy. We have here in court leading representatives of the Academy of Science to give expert witness as to the absurdity of his claims.
"In the second place, even if this person's claims were true - granting for the sake of argument such an absurdity" - Mr. Weems permitted himself a thin - lipped smile - "we contend that his activities are contrary to the public interest in general, and unlawfully injurious to the interests of my client in particular. We are prepared to produce numerous exhibits with the legal custodians to prove that this person did publish, or cause to have published, utterances urging the public to dispense with the priceless boon of life insurance to the great detriment of their welfare and to the financial damage of my client."
Pinero arose in his place. "Your Honor, may I say a few words?"
"What is it?"
"I believe I can simplify the situation if permitted to make a brief analysis."
"Your Honor," cut in Weems, "this is most irregular."
"Patience, Mr. Weems. Your interests will be protected. bookmark It seems to me that we need more light and less noise in this matter. If Dr. Pinero can shorten the proceedings by speaking at this time, I am inclined to let him. Proceed, Dr. Pinero."
"Thank you, Your Honor. Taking the last of Mr. Weems' points first, I am prepared to stipulate that I published the utterances he speaks of"
"One moment, Doctor. You have chosen to act as your own attorney. Are you sure you are competent to protect your own interests?"
"I am prepared to chance it, Your Honor. Our friends here can easily prove what I stipulate."
"Very well. You may proceed."
"I will stipulate that many persons have cancelled life insurance policies as a result thereof, but I challenge them to show that anyone so doing has suffered any loss or damage there from. It is true that the Amalgamated has lost business through my activities, but that is the natural result of my discovery, which has made their policies as obsolete as the bow and arrow. If an injunction is granted on that ground, I shall set up a coal oil lamp factory, then ask for an injunction against the Edison and General Electric companies to forbid them to manufacture incandescent bulbs."
"I will stipulate that I am engaged in the business of making predictions of death, but I deny that I am practicing magic, black, white, or rainbow colored. If to make predictions by methods of scientific accuracy is illegal, then the actuaries of the Amalgamated have been guilty for years in that they predict the exact percentage that will die each year in any given large group. I predict death retail; the Amalgamated predicts it wholesale. If their actions are legal, how can mine be illegal?"
"I admit that it makes a difference whether I can do what I claim, or not; and I will stipulate that the so - called expert witnesses from the Academy of Science will testify that I cannot. But they know nothing of my method and cannot give truly expert testimony on it."
"Just a moment, Doctor. Mr. Weems, is it true that your expert witnesses are not conversant with Dr. Pinero's theory and methods?"