“Wonderful.” she said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.
“Yes it is. I bet you’re salty in other places too aren’t you Lena.”
Gripping her hair tighter he looked down at her with a sexy as hell grin then added to that provocative statement, “Sweet and salty.”
Then he leaned down and she forgot what they’d been talking about as he kissed the jealousy right out of her.
Mason knew she was trying really hard not to give in to him, and she was doing really well until he took one of his hands from her hair and dragged it down along her back to grab her ass. She sighed, finally relaxing into him. Her lips parted and he slipped inside. He gentled his grip on her hair and groaned softly into her mouth as her tongue tangled with his. After a moment he pulled back opening his eyes and looking down at her.
“Come down here and lay next to me.”
He let her go and stretched out on the soft blanket on his side. Not knowing if she would do as he asked or get up and leave, he was happy when she slowly moved to mirror him resting her head in the crook of her elbow. They were a of couple inches away from one another and he kept his hands to himself as he let his eyes roam over her. The sun was peaking through the leaves and shining down onto the side of her face and he thought she’d never looked more beautiful.
“Don’t think this means you won.” she pouted.
He felt his grin spread. “I’ll note it down somewhere. But I’m happy you didn’t storm off somewhere.”
Her mouth opened as though she was going to dispute him then she shut it silently.
“You look cute when you’re jealous.”
“There’s that word again. What makes you think I’m jealous Langley? Maybe I’m horrified you let someone with her kind of intellect touch you.”
He let out a quick burst of laughter, “Oh boy! Now your lobbing grenades at someone unable to defend themselves.” he paused then questioned, “Is that a compliment or insult to me?”
Her mouth kicked up in a grin and he watched a twinkle light her eyes. “That’s your job to figure out. Either way Miss Redhead, does she ahh come around often?”
“Oh yeah she came..”
“Langley.” she warned with narrowed eyes.
“Alright alright, to answer you, no. I hadn’t seen her for around two months when she came in that night.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t say it like that. I don’t plan to go and see her either. Lena when are you going to open your eyes?”
“My eyes are open.” she snapped at him.
Shaking his head he reached over the space between them and took the hand laying on her hip. He brought it up and placed her palm on his heart.
“Stop fighting me so hard would you? I’ve be consumed by you since the moment you yelled at me in your waiting room. All I want is to be with you.”
Blinking she bit her lip. “I know that.” she paused, “Logically I know that, you’ve proven it over and over. I’m just so use to living in survival mode.”
Watching her closely he reached above her head to where her bent arm rested. He took her fingers in his and entwined them. “Tell me what I can do to convince you Lena.”
Shaking her head those big green eyes watched him. “I don’t know. I just know for the last nine years I haven’t let anyone in. I haven’t wanted anyone close.”
“Why?” he asked softly. “Tell me, let me know what I’m up against.”
Closing her eyes she gripped his hand hard.
“Me.” she blew out a breath and he felt it on his face and lips then her eyes opened and focused sadly on his. “My guilt. My fear.”
Scooting his body closer on the blanket until there was only an inch between their bodies he reached over and placed his free hand on her hip, they mirrored one another and his eyes were lined up with hers. He wasn’t letting her get away from him and he wanted to understand what she meant.
“What do you mean your guilt Lena? You didn’t do anything. Your walking around with all this self imposed guilt you don’t even deserve.” he paused and asked softly, “Did you pull out before the light turned green?”
Her eyes widened and she sucked in a breath. Finally she shook it and whispered, “No it was green and it was later determined that it had been green. The other car ran the red.”
“Then why do you beat yourself up?” he demanded quietly. “It wasn’t your fault. It was a horrible accident that happened in the blink of an eye and you lost Carly tragically but Lena listen to me. It wasn’t your fault.”
He traced an open palm up her arm and cupped her cheek. “Baby you need to let these old ghosts go. They’re making you old before your time and you’re going to end up being left behind.”
Lena felt her eyes well up and a tear escape. She bit her bottom lip trying to hold it together. “I know all of that. I’ve been telling myself for years there was nothing I could’ve done, but I replay that night in my head over and over and all I can come up with is that I wish it’d been me and not her.”
He cupped her cheek and brushed a thumb over it. “Oh Lena, don’t ever think that. Number one if that had happened, you wouldn’t be here to help all the hundreds or maybe even thousands of children you have over your career.” he paused then smiled, “Like that young boy you told me about, what’s his name? Robbie?”
Sniffling Lena nodded, “Yeah.”
“And secondly I’m pretty damn thrilled you’re here. Let me be what you need.”
“I’m scared.” she confessed.
“Of what?”
Looking down she took a deep breath and admitted, “Letting you in then losing you.”
“Lena, look at me.”
She raised her eyes to his blue gaze and they were full of understanding and compassion.
“I’m not going anywhere unless you make me or someone up there,” he paused raising his eyes skyward, “Makes me. But you can’t go through life not letting anyone in on the off chance they’ll die, or else you’ll die of a lonely heart.”
Lena sat up and swiped at her eyes. He followed sitting cross legged opposite her. He reached out and took her hands in his.
“I’m going to say this once and then we’re going to go home and I’m going to take you to bed and show you how much nicer it is to feel and be with someone than to be numb and alone.” He paused leaning over to lay his lips on hers, “It’s time to feel again. Let me save you from yourself. You were drowning when I found you, but I’m not letting you go not without a fight.” He kissed her sweetly and moved back standing up and over her. Lena looked up at his out stretched hand.
“Take my hand Lena.” He offered and she knew he meant it in a way that went far beyond offering to help her stand.
Chapter Twenty
It’d been two weeks of late nights spent in Mason’s arms and rushed days down at the hospital. Lena came into her office and sat down behind the desk. She’d agreed to go down to Exquisite tonight and have dinner and she could feel herself getting pushed further and further back from the time she wanted to leave. Looking at the paperwork on her desk she was about to start charting when there was a knock on the door. Raising her eyes she was shocked to see her mother standing there.
“Mom. What are you doing here?”
Lena watched as her mother smiled warmly as she stepped into her office. “Now is that anyway to greet your mother?”
Lena smiled back and her mother looked at her with a curious expression. “No. I suppose it isn’t. I just wasn’t expecting you today. Is dad with you?”
“No dear it’s just me.”