“I don’t think anything,” Ben answered. “I’m just checking out everyone who had access to that stage, including you. You weren’t by any chance involved with this death, were you?”
“I’m involved with death on an intimate, daily basis,” Gordo said, settling back into his chair. “But not this one in particular.”
Ben glanced again at the pile of death and dying materials. “Mind telling me what this is all about?”
“I’m part of the movement, man.”
“Which one?”
“The death-awareness movement.”
“I didn’t realize there was any lack of awareness of death.”
“Not just that it exists. We’re tryin’ to help people understand what it really is. Do you know much about what happens to us after we die, Ben?”
“I have a friend who believes in angels.”
Gordo shook his head. “Not religious fantasies. The real thing. We’re tryin’ to help people understand what death truly is. To break people away from their childish cliché notions—death as a horror to be dreaded. We want people to understand that death is a natural part of life. That it’s not an ending, but a transition.”
“Like graduating from college?”
“Well, in a way. Problem is, people are all wrapped up in these antiquated ideas they’ve gotten from the media or the medical community. The cure-oriented, interventionalist, life-prolonging regime.”
“You’re against cures and life prolongation?”
“After a point, yes. We’re defying the natural order. Putting off what was meant to be.” He gave Ben a long look. “I gather you find these ideas revolutionary? That’s because you’ve been brainwashed by the establishment. These ideas are not new, and they didn’t originate with me. You’ve heard of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, haven’t you?”
“Right. Five stages of dying.”
“That was the start. In subsequent works, she went well beyond those early ideas. In the movement, she’s considered the Queen of Death.”
“Lucky her.”
“She’s written volumes on this subject. Slowly but surely she’s transforming the world. There are over a hundred thousand death and dying college courses taught every year. These ideas have gained broad acceptance among thanatologists and other death professionals.”
“Death professionals?”
“Hospice workers, clergymen, psychiatrists, doctors, nurses.” He paused. “I gather from your attitude you’ve never done any serious thinking about death.”
“It’s not my idea of a fun Saturday night, no.”
“You should. Take some of these books. You’ll be astounded at how widespread the movement is. Millions of people all over the world have joined.” He pulled a few volumes off a shelf. “Kübler-Ross established a nationwide chain of death and dying centers—they’re called Shanti Nilaya. There’s also the Exit Society, which distributes home suicide guides. There’s the Conscious Dying movement, which motivates people to devote their lives to death awareness. They open Death Centers to help bring people to the movement. And there’s another group that’s trying to initiate two-way traffic with the afterlife.”
“Two-way traffic?”
“Kind of a courier service. They recruit people who are dying to carry messages to those who have already passed on. And of course there are various reincarnation and past-life groups, although that’s really a different cup of tea.” He pulled a brochure out of a drawer. “Here’s a group promoting near-death experiences. You know what they are?”
“Well, my mother gave me Saved by the Light for Christmas.”
Gordo snorted. “This is nothing like that. This is the real thing. You don’t go back in time to your childhood or meet Jesus or any of that rot. What would be the point of going backwards? Near death gives you a peek at the world to come. You must’ve seen some of the critical articles that have been written on the subject.”
“Well, I’ve seen a few National Enquirer headlines.”
He handed Ben the brochure. “I haven’t done it, but they say it’ll turn your head forever. Make you understand death as an altered state of consciousness. Kind of like the ultimate acid trip.”
Ben thumbed through the brochure. “Tune in, turn on, drop dead.”
Gordo laughed. “Something like that.”
“So your theory is sort of, do go gentle into that good night. And be quick about it.”
“Hey, that’s pretty good. Did you think of that yourself?”
“Me and Dylan Thomas.” Ben frowned. “Gordo, you’re even younger than I am. How did you ever get wrapped up in this death movement?”
Gordo slowly brought his hands together and steepled his fingers. “I would expect you to keep this to yourself.”
“If it relates to this case, I can’t promise I won’t use it in court. If it doesn’t relate, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
Gordo bobbed his head from side to side, as if mentally weighing whether those assurances were good enough. Evidently he decided they were. “I have Addison’s disease,” he said finally. “Do you know what that is?”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
“It’s what JFK had. Causes a drying up of the joints. It can be treated with cortisone but …” He paused. “It’s painful at times. There are treatments now, but—my doctors say it’s gonna kill me, eventually.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ben said softly.
“I was diagnosed when I was seventeen. So you see, death and I have been constant companions for a good long while.”
Ben shifted awkwardly in his chair. This was the last direction on earth he would have expected this interview to take. “I can see how you might be … interested in the subject.”
“More than interested. I was looking for hope. Assurances.”
“People have always looked for hope,” Ben said. “The promise of an afterlife. That’s what faith is all about. But this death movement you’re describing …” He paused, casting his eyes across the piles of materials. “This goes beyond the promise and anticipation of an afterlife. This is more like a … sentimentalization of death. A worship of death, even.”
Gordo pulled a well-worn magazine off his shelf. “This is an interview Kübler-Ross did some years ago.” He thumbed rapidly through the slick pages. “Listen to this. According to the Queen, ‘People after death become complete again. The blind can see, the deaf can hear, cripples are no longer crippled after all their vital signs have ceased to exist.’ ” He grabbed a nearby book. “Here’s what she says in her latest work. ‘Death is a wonderful and positive experience … When the time is right, we can let go of our bodies and we will be free of pain, free of fears and worries—free as a very beautiful butterfly, returning home to God.’ ”
“So death becomes the ultimate panacea.”
Gordo’s eyelids fluttered as he settled back into his chair. “It’s a beautiful thought, isn’t it?”
“Well, actually, no.” Ben knew he shouldn’t argue; this wouldn’t advance his investigation. But he couldn’t help himself. “Don’t you see that sentiments like hers in effect encourage people to kill themselves? No wonder suicide rates are at an all-time high, and euthanasia is becoming downright trendy. People should be encouraged to make the most of this life, no matter what hand they’re dealt, rather than just anticipating some supposed miracle to come after they’re dead and buried.”
“The truth is, Ben, you’ve been brainwashed by conventionality.”
“The truth is, Gordo, no one really knows what, if anything, happens to us after we die. This death and dying stuff doesn’t have any more scientific basis than astrology or spoon-bending.” Ben bit down on his lower lip. He knew he wasn’t handling this very well. “Gordo, I’m sorry to hear you have a serious disease. But a lot of people who learned that they might not have a full-length life have used that knowledge to drive themselves to work harder and accomplish more. Kennedy, for example. But this death and dying crap pushes people in just the opposite direction. Instead of urging them to accomplish more, it urges them to accomplish less. Don’t make the most of your days. End it now. Make the transition.”