“Maybe I should be somewhere else then!” Danny shouted.
Sensing the hostility, Ruby began crying, reaching out for her mother to pick her up.
“Now look what you done,” Wendy said as she picked up Ruby and tried to comfort her.
As Danny looked at the tears rolling down Wendy and Ruby’s faces, he felt nothing.
Wendy seemed to flinch as she looked into Danny’s eyes. Lowering her voice so as not to upset the already distraught Ruby, she delivered an ultimatum.
“You’ve got to change, Danny,” she said.
“Bollocks,” said Danny irritably. “What do I need to change for?”
Wendy wiped the tears from her and Ruby’s eyes. “You’re not the man I married either,” she said. “You’re someone else, someone I don’t know.” She took a deep breath. “I think you need to leave.”
Danny saw red.
“Good idea,” he yelled. “What a fuckin’ good idea.”
Ruby started crying again like her little heart was broken. Danny ignored her. He went up to the bedroom, stuffed some clothes and belongings into his bag, snatched up his coat and car keys and walked out the door. He felt nothing but blind rage. Not an inkling of remorse or sadness. Nothing at all.
Danny was suffering cold sweats the whole way to London. Pulling his vitamins out of the glove box, he knocked back a couple of pills and wondered where to go. He thought about Rosie’s place, but decided to drive to Costa’s instead. Costa had a flat above the club. Perhaps he could stay there. Good life downstairs, cocaine on tap.
At the club, Costa was holding auditions. Twitching by the bar, Danny watched the scantily dressed girls parade up and down. Costa’s preference would have been a parade of scantily dressed young men, but he had his mainly male clientele to consider.
“All right, Tommy,” Danny said during a break in proceedings. “Do you reckon I could stay in your flat for a while?”
“Why?”
Danny wiped his nose. “Me and Wendy have broken up. I need somewhere to stay till I get myself together.”
Costa put his arm round Danny. “Of course you can, son,” he said. “You’re one of the family.”
Months passed. There was still no fixed date for the fight, and training sessions were becoming less frequent. Danny made many excuses, and Patsy grew tired of hounding him. Danny was living in a different world now, physically and mentally. The drugs and the nightlife engulfed him. The focus on his boxing career became almost non-existent.
Patsy had told Albert about Danny and Wendy’s break-up months earlier. Albert’s first thoughts had been with the little girl.
“What about Ruby? Idiot, what’s the matter with him?”
“I don’t know, Albert,” Patsy admitted.
Albert felt heavy-hearted. “Do you think this fight with Livermore is ever going to happen?”
Patsy grunted. “They’re certainly taking their time about it.”
Albert felt more worried than ever. “How’s he training? I haven’t seen him for a while.”
“Not so good. He’s finding it hard with no date fixed for the fight.”
Albert sighed. “Say hello to him, will ya?” he said. “It must be tough, not knowing. Like you’re in limbo.”
Wendy and Ruby were making the best of things. Wendy’s parents were a godsend, doing their very best to soften the heartache. Mr Bristow helped Wendy with money and Mrs Bristow gave her time.
Months went by without any contact from Danny. He even missed Ruby’s second birthday. Wendy did all she could to put Danny out of her mind, but it wasn’t easy, especially when Ruby said “Daddy” and pointed to their wedding photograph.
Wendy had thought about putting the photo away, but decided that would be putting away the good times they’d had. So she left it there, sitting on the shelf, reminding her every day of what they’d lost.
She felt like her life was sitting on the shelf beside the photograph. Ruby filled much of her time and much of the space left in her heart, but at night the heartache would come and almost overwhelm her.
Danny seemed lost in his twilight world of drugs, drink and late nights. Cohen was the first to notice.
“The boy won’t be worth nothing if he carries on the way he is,” he warned Costa one night.
Costa shrugged. “He’s a young fella, he’s just having a good time.”
Danny was not having a good time. His moods swung like a pendulum, and he suffered acute fatigue that only the cocaine and his vitamins seem to cure. Costa had made a few advances, suggesting drugs for sex, but Danny managed to keep his distance.
Through the dark times, Danny’s past life would come to him in flashes. Wendy, Ruby, Albert. Whenever this happened, he would steer his thoughts to drugs, numbing any remorse or pain. To wallow in a stupor was better than facing the truth.
One afternoon, as Danny lay in bed with his usual pounding headache, there was a loud knock.
“Danny?” said Cohen through the door. “It’s Jack. You in there?”
Danny tried to get his mind in gear. He stumbled from the bed and opened the flat door.
Cohen looked at him. “Look at the state of you,” he said. “Tommy was supposed to keep an eye, but here you are like a deadbeat. What’s the matter with you?”
Danny muttered something about being tired. Cohen cut through his stammering.
“I’ve got some news about the fight,” he said.
“Yeah?” was all that Danny could muster.
Cohen prodded him in the chest. “The fight is in two months. You better sort yourself out, you’re in a fuckin’ state.”
Marching over to the bedside table, Cohen grabbed Danny’s cocaine stash and threw it out the window. Danny ran to the window, but it was too late.
“Sort yourself out!” shouted Cohen, and slammed the door behind him.
Danny went into panic mode, his heart beating like a drum. This jolt from the real world was a shock. He could only think about one thing.
He needed to get to Patsy.
He dressed and washed and went to his car, full of cold shivers, hot sweats and blurred vision. He took a couple of vitamins to ease the symptoms as he drove East. Making it to the Live and Let Live, he parked erratically by the side of the road and went in.
Albert was getting things ready for opening time.
“Danny! Where you been? Blimey, it’s been ages! How are you? How’s Ruby? She must be a handful, growing up fast I bet.”
Danny leant against the bar. He felt completely exhausted. “Dunno,” he said. “I ain’t seen her.”
“Since when?” said Albert.
“Dunno. A year maybe? Get us a drink, will you Albert? I got a pain in my head today like a fuckin’ hammer.”
For a moment, Albert was too shocked to respond. Patsy had told him Danny and Wendy had split up, but he’d never expected that Danny would abandon his daughter.
“I was sorry about you and Wendy splitting up,” he said.
“These things happen,” Danny said. “Where’s Patsy?”
“Not here yet, should turn up soon.”
“Where’s that drink?” Danny asked.
Albert pulled himself together. “Do you want an orange juice or something?”
Danny shook his head. “Jack Daniel’s.”
“I don’t think so,” said Albert. “You’re training, ain’t you?”
Danny slammed his hands on the bar. “Who are you to tell me what to do?”
Albert noticed Danny’s hands were shaking and he was sweating.
“You all right, Danny?” he asked.