Yeah. There was no way to put him into words yet. Every time I thought of him, all I wanted to shout was “I love you!” Every time I opened my mouth to speak to him, all I wanted to say was “I love you!”
So not very coherent at this point. What the hell is love anyway? Did I love him already? Should I love him already?
Or was it just attraction? I mean, he looked like a demigod. I wanted to touch him and crawl on top of him at every opportunity. His smell, his personality, his body, everything intoxicated me.
But that wasn’t love. I was smart enough to know that. So why did I always want to say it?
“Thanks for the watch.” I spoke up, trying to get my mind off the subject of love. I looked down, rubbing my thumb over the white Samsung Gear fitted to my wrist. He’d picked it up while he and Jared were out getting supplies, but it wasn’t just a watch. It was a phone, a camera, and a pedometer, and I could do almost anything with it that I could do with my phone.
“You haven’t GPS’d me, have you?” I teased.
“Maybe.” He smiled. “No, it’s simply a phone you’ll always have on you, if you need it. It’s safe.”
I noticed he hadn’t gotten one for himself, though. He worried about me too much, and I wished he wouldn’t.
For the next ten minutes, I wrote a whole page of my name, Juliet Adrian Carter, over and over again in my journal.
For years, I’d been writing and signing my sister’s name, even though Juliet had always stayed my legal name. School, doctors’ offices, and such treated K.C. as a nickname, so I’d signed Juliet on official occasions, but rarely for anything else. I needed to get used to using it full-time again.
We pulled off the main road, taking a short trip through a dense brush to a clearing right on the banks of the lake. Tate had booked the campgrounds for next week, but we got lucky and got in early. There were other campers, and I could hear boat engines, squealing girls, and music already, hence the name “Party Cove.”
Although the beach ahead looked rocky, nothing was more beautiful. The panoramic view of evergreens surrounding the midnight blue lake, disturbed only by the havoc of Jet Skis and a few kayaks, was the epitome of summer fun. Fresh air, clear skies, and the laughter and music signaling good, clean fun. I couldn’t wait.
I just had no idea what to do first. Dive into the lake or get lost in the woods.
After we’d parked in the lot, we hauled our gear to the campground surrounding the beach and started setting up. The other campers in the area, about ten or so, already had a party going, and I caught sight of an old wooden rowboat completely filled with ice, soda, and an assortment of beers.
Even though it was early, the partying had commenced. I didn’t worry, though. Madoc would have a ball, but Fallon would rein him in. Jared had stopped overindulging in high school, so Tate would be relaxed, and they’d enjoy their time together. I got drunk once in my life, wasted an entire day on a hangover, and vowed never to do it again.
And Jax? I’d heard about a time or two that Madoc got him loaded, but I’d never seen it, and now I think I knew why.
Jax hated any dependencies. He didn’t smoke, do drugs, and I’d rarely ever seen him drink alcohol. Probably because of his father.
Maybe the shit he went through had served a purpose after all. It helped shaped the man he became. Survival, not suffering.
“Tent’s almost ready.” He came behind me and helped lift the air mattress I was hauling from the car. Tate, Fallon, and I had inflated the mattresses using the vacuum that attached to a car’s cigarette lighter. Easy peasy.
I felt a hand on my tush and glanced around, nearly stumbling over a log, to see Jax reaching out, pawing me through my short black shorts.
“How’d you like it if I felt you up in public?” I teased. I heard him laugh.
“You’re lucky I’m not yanking that bikini string loose. Red is my favorite color on you,” he teased.
“Well, don’t get too excited, mister,” I advised, pulling down the visor on my baseball hat. “I want to hike to the falls after we’re down here.”
“Your ass is vibrating.” He changed the subject as he picked my cell phone out of my back pocket.
“Hey,” I scolded, dropping the mattress next to the tent and turning around. “Phone, please.”
I held out my hand, smirking and tapping my foot, but I stopped when I saw Jax scowling at the screen.
“Why is Liam calling you?” he asked as the phone stopped vibrating in his hand.
I dropped my hand and narrowed my gaze thoughtfully. “I don’t know.”
He held on to the phone, straightening his back and looking down at me. “How often does he call?”
I took a deep breath, not liking his tone. “Why don’t you check my call log to see for yourself, Jax?”
Dropping my gaze, I put my hands on my hips and waited. I had no idea why Liam was calling. It was the first time, and if he’d left a message, I had no interest in hearing it.
But Jax wasn’t inquiring. He was interrogating, and he had no reason not to trust me.
He handed me my phone. “I don’t want to invade your privacy.”
“Too late,” I mumbled, bending down to pick up the mattress again.
But he hooked my arm with his, bringing me back up. “Hey,” he soothed. “I’m sorry. I trust you, okay?” He tipped my chin up. “Other guys shouldn’t be calling my girl, though. What would you do if Cameron or another past hookup was calling me?”
I pursed my lips to hide the smile, but he still saw it.
“Oh, that’s funny?” he joked.
“No.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “You called me your girl.” I nodded, waggling my eyebrows. “And,” I continued, “you’d better believe this little wallflower will cut a bitch with that knife of yours if anyone lays a hand on you.” I darted out, catching one of his nipple rings in my teeth and sucking.
He gasped in surprise and then chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. “I never would’ve thought.”
“What?” I played, holding the barbell between my teeth.
“I don’t like aggressive women.” His voice was low and thoughtful. “I never have. I’m sure you know why.”
I stopped and tilted my head back, looking up at him. Yeah. I knew why. And I could understand it.
“But you?” He ran his finger over my cheek. “It’s different. I like it when you’re nice, but I love it when you’re rough.” He leaned down to whisper in my ear, sending shivers down my spine, “So, just a warning … if you bite my nipple piercings one more time, the thin walls of the tent will do nothing to drown out how hard I’m fucking you.”
And then he backed away, everything in his eyes telling me that his threat for today was a promise tonight.
“I don’t think we’re going the right way,” Madoc whined as we wound our way through the forest, traveling steadily uphill.
“We’re following a trail, Einstein,” Jared called back. “I’m not carving this baby out for the first time. Relax.”
The intimate hike I’d been hoping for consisting of just Jax and me didn’t happen. Instead of a quiet jaunt into the woods and maybe a sexy swim in one of the pools at the bottom of the falls, we were a group six strong with Jared in the lead, followed by Tate, Fallon, Madoc—because he wanted to stare at his wife’s butt—and then Jax and me.
“Well, Jax should be leading,” Madoc called out. “His people have skills. Like bear whispering and understanding messages in the wind and shit.”
“Nah,” Jax joked. “But I can weave a damn nice basket.”
Everyone chuckled, but I simply smiled. I was feeling more and more a part of the group as time wore on, but they’d all spent loads of time together, and I was still trying to find my place.
And—looking up—I smiled, liking my place so far.
Jax was wearing long black cargo shorts, hiking shoes, and a dark gray backpack on his naked back. I looked much the same, except I had my red bikini top with my black shorts and backpack. My white baseball cap was pulled over my hair, which I’d stupidly left down, and I was sweating already.