Believers? Even then there was only Gabrielle.
Over the next few years they looked for angels in the clouds, in the trees, in the tall fields of summer corn. They hunted for them in the black dust of coal piles and in the muddy waters of river, pond, and stream. They watched for them among the stars that flickered or streaked in night skies, and it was here they always felt closest to their quarry, but still too far away.
Year by year they grew taller, grew hair in places they’d never had it before, as the world grew wider to accommodate them, then swallow them altogether. Humanity’s seething mass and the questions it forced about slaughters and plagues and planes that fell from the sky — none of it boded well for the presence of holy messengers.
He was willing to admit defeat — maybe it really had been a dream — but Gabrielle wouldn’t let him. Telling him, “Even if you did fall and hit your head, so what? I know what I saw happen to you and I never fell.”
It was years before he walked the tunnel all the way back to the wall again, and when at last he did, he did it alone because that was the way he was spending much of his time anymore, gawky and bespotted with acne that no prayer seemed able to scrub away, and Gabrielle by now had friends who’d never had ten words for him and never would.
Over the years he’d entered the tunnel often but only so far, as if stayed by some inner hand from violating the sanctity of a chamber whose threshold should not be crossed until he was ready. It had, of course, been checked out by the rescuers he hadn’t needed after his fall from the train. He heard they’d found nothing. The cold ashes of a dead fire — meaningless in an area known for transients. No bedroll, no empty can of beans.
Once a child, now an adolescent, he remembered a declivity in the ground, in one corner where the defaced concrete wall met the wall of rock. Seepage had always filled it before, a wide pool of cold, inky water. He’d chucked his share of rocks into it, taking pains to never get too close. It could be a bottomless well for all they knew. Anything could crawl out of it.
But when he turned his flashlight on it now, it was nothing but a hollow, sharply sloping walls of moist earth with a few inches of stagnant water in the bottom. And a body. It lay on its side, curled like a discarded fetus, little more than bones, rags, scraps of leathery hide, and the scraggly seaweed of a wild beard. Something about it — the scorching of an exposed collarbone splitting through the thin flesh, maybe — seemed seared to him, as if it had charred halfway to mummification, then fell in the pool and sank to the bottom. Preserved by minerals, maybe, and waiting to be found. Time capsule. Message in a water bottle. A cold gust of laughter blown into his face from the past.
There was no rational reason to step into that shallow grave, feel the chilly water flood his sneakers, sluice at his ankles. No rational reason to lay hands on that soggy husk or peel back the shriveled flaps of its eyelids. He did it anyway.
Because there was no rational reason to expect those peculiar eyes to be anything but ooze by now … yet they’d survived to stare from their otherwise ruined sockets, the whites untarnished by rot, the irises unfaded — one brown, the other blue. It occurred to him this time — it would not have before — that these were eyes for two worlds, one turned toward earth, the other toward sky.
Now it seemed they had closed on both.
Certainly they’d closed on him.
*
A few weeks earlier, when during one of his hikes Austin encountered the Kyyth weeping in the desert, he’d first thought it was simply a man. Another hiker, lost or with a turned ankle, frightened of dying of thirst. Or a freight-hopper who’d left the train before it passed by Miracle, then gone the wrong direction.
Then he’d seen its eyes.
“I knew,” he told Gabrielle. “Right then, I knew.”
“David Bowie’s eyes are different colors. Would you have had the same reaction if you’d met him?”
“There was more to it than the eyes, I just don’t know how to convey it in a way that would make sense. There’s no vocabulary for these things, not in English. Maybe in Hindustani. But not here.”
He understood that Gabrielle expected him to be more or less the same man she’d left eleven years ago to his bitterness and dementia. Not necessarily in the worst excesses of the temperament she remembered, but at least in his capabilities and limitations. Yet even here he was not the same man she’d known.
How to explain moments of a knowledge that asserted itself like instinct, something inborn rather than learned? How to explain the growing manipulation of the properties of earth and air and fire and water? How to explain periods of monumental silence, brimming with lucidity? He felt like a tuning fork, set to vibrating but thrown by mistake into a drawerful of flatware.
Hardly the same man, which was for the better. The old Austin might never even have noticed Memuneh at all. It had been such an inauspicious summit. The Austin she remembered — an Austin he no longer even regarded as alive — would only have been disappointed by his initial encounter with the Kyyth. Appalled by its tears, disgusted by its display of weakness. That younger Austin she remembered would’ve expected no less than glare and thunder as the reward for his evocations, and if the being they heralded had no wingspan to unfurl, like a vain peacock, then by god he would send it back until it returned with the proper plumage.
What a wiener he’d been.
So maybe she wasn’t here to be taught after all. Maybe she was here to forgive him for what he must’ve put her through.
“I haven’t even asked you where you’re staying,” he said.
“At the bed-and-breakfast in Miracle.”
“How many days?”
“I left that loose. They accommodated.”
“I can imagine. Not the waiting list there was last year.” He laughed. “It’s like an Old West boom town where they struck angels instead of silver, and then it went bust really quick.”
“It has that feeling. A ghost town in the making.”
“You can stay here if you want. I know it’s not as tastefully appointed. But the offer’s there.”
Her refusal was softened by her smile and the bead of sweat at the tip of her nose. “It’s not even on my tab, Austin, now why would I choose splinters over a mattress?”
“Well, it’s purifying,” he said, and they laughed, then spoke for the next hour or more as the sun fell toward the stone spires and anvils in the west. The worst of the heat began to ebb from the day and he figured Memuneh should rouse soon. The first time he turned, impelled by some benign inner alarm, Austin saw him in the square of the front window, watching them in silence. Studying their conversation, maybe even their bodies.
Memuneh was so androgynous as to be a stereotype. Worse, he was familiar. After encountering him in the desert, Austin had combed through books in one of the silly shops that had sprung up like mushrooms last year and found the face he’d recognized: identical to the harpist in a centuries-old painting entitled Musician Angels.
Inspiration and artist’s muse? Hardly. As Austin understood, the Kyyth were not by nature corporeal, but when opting otherwise, they engineered bodies from the elements around them. Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen … their comprehension of molecular biology was intuitive but staggeringly complex. Yet they had a refined sense of aesthetics. So long as they were shaping bodies, undoubtedly they’d make those shapes pleasing to themselves, and they weren’t too proud to mimic. There was no reason to believe they restricted themselves to human form, either, if others suited their purposes or whims. A Kyyth could theoretically incubate itself into a wolf or a Sequoia; into something extinct, or even otherwise nonexistent.