But Axel wouldn’t let me pull back too far, always doing his best to relax me. I’d become the snag in his fishing line. Every time I drifted mentally, he quickly reeled me back in. Most of the time, it was nothing more than goofy conversation that brought our effortless teasing back to the forefront. Sometimes, he’d tell me to listen to a certain Guns N’ Roses song from my CD while he did the same. Then he’d call me and tell me what he thought about while hearing it, always keeping his thoughts clean, of course. And then I’d offer my own opinions and views of the lyrics.
The last one we’d listened to was “Don’t Cry.” I wasn’t too fond of the song, but I listened to it like he’d asked me to. The worst part came when he sent me a text afterward instead of calling. He didn’t say anything about the song like he usually did, only asked me to meet him in the trees behind his house at noon the next day. Panic kept me up all night, tossing and turning, fearing what it all meant. I couldn’t block out the fear of the two-week curse I’d joked about. This weekend marked two weeks exactly since we made up and started this new relationship. That alone had me wrapped into a ball of nerves, but nothing compared to his song choice and cryptic text.
Running on barely no sleep, I stumbled my way through the trees the next day. I had counted down every second until my clock read five till noon. Now I was on my way to meet him, and every step I took brought me closer, which made my heart beat faster, my legs grow weaker, and my stomach twist tighter. I wanted to vomit and turn around, run back home and hide until the weekend was over, but I forced myself to keep going. It wouldn’t matter if he broke my heart today or the next. Either way, I’d be devastated. My preservation wished that I could just have it over with.
But then I found him, sitting on a stretched-out blanket between the trees. Our eyes locked and I stopped moving, the air in my lungs evaporated and left me breathless. Or maybe just the sight of him did that to me…
After a second, his face softened and then a wide smile spread across his lips. Those lips…I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them for two weeks, ever since he’d touched them to mine. And in that moment, all the worry, panic, and paranoia blew away with the cool breeze that rustled the leaves around me.
“What is this?” I asked as he held my hand, helping me sit down next to him.
“Lunch.”
“Oo-kay…but why? What for, I mean?”
He rolled his eyes dramatically at me as if I’d asked a stupid question, but then he released a faint chuckle before answering. “Because, Bree, it’s noon. People eat lunch at this time.” He pulled a bottle of water from a cooler and handed it to me after twisting off the cap. “But if you’re wondering why I asked you out here for lunch, it’s because I want to prove something to you.”
I waited patiently as he took everything out of the cooler and laid it around us. He’d made sandwiches, had a container of macaroni salad, and a bowl of grapes. Nothing fancy, but it was perfect. At least I’d have a good last memory of him when things ended between us.
“What did you think about the song?” he asked while handing me some food.
“I thought it was sad, and that it meant you’re breaking up with me.”
“How exactly did you get that from the song?”
“It talked about kissing each other before saying goodbye. That he’d always think about her and not forget the time they had together. I looked up the lyrics, Axel. That’s very much a break-up song.”
He placed his hand over mine and waited to speak until he knew he had my full attention. “Songs mean different things to different people. When I listened to that song last night, I heard something else. I heard a guy that was heartbroken because his girl wouldn’t open up to him. He begs her to talk, to tell him what she’s feeling. He sees something going on inside her, but he can’t help because she won’t let him. I heard a man that wanted his girl to give him something, a whisper or a sigh. And if she decided that it was the end, all he asked for was a kiss. He just wants her to be okay.”
“You got all that from a song?”
He smiled and ran his thumb over my cheek. “I did.”
“There were…um, other lyrics in there.”
His hand immediately dropped and it made me look away. “Don’t think too much about that, Bree. He loved her, so he told her so. I’m sure the song wouldn’t have been as great if he’d said he only cared about her.”
“So you don’t…?”
“I’m not ready for that yet. I still have a lot to work out in my head before I can answer that question.” He knew which lyric I referred to, the one about loving her. And I’m glad because that saved me from having to say them out loud.
“I’m okay with that. Because I’m not ready, either.”
We exchanged an understanding glance before eating our lunch in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence or one filled with tension. It was calm and easy, just like we always were when we were together.
For dessert, Axel pulled out a small chocolate cake.
“What’s this for?”
Not even bothering to slice it, he took the top off and handed me a fork. “It’s kind of a collaborative celebration. Valentine’s Day and your birthday. I missed both, and I wanted to make up for it. What better time to do that than now, on our two-week whatever you wanna call it.”
“Anniversary?” I hoped he couldn’t hear the concern in my tone.
“No. That’s ridiculous. We’re not in middle school. I just thought that since you have such a fear over this insane thought about some two-week curse—which is completely made up by the way—I’d show you how wrong you are.”
“Are you some kind of romantic at heart?” I asked teasingly.
“I call myself passionate. When I care about something, I’m all in. Like with school, I’ve always been obsessed with history. I used to want to pursue a career in politics, but quickly decided against that once I was old enough to understand the corruption of it all.” He dipped his fork into the cake, sliced off a piece, and offered it to me first.
“I’d think that would make you want it more. I mean, doesn’t this country need more positive and honest leaders?” I asked after swallowing the bite with a soft moan.
He dropped his head for a moment, and I thought it had to do with what I’d said, but I quickly realized by the flush in his cheeks that it wasn’t. Apparently, I had a bigger effect on him than I realized. That, in turn, made my cheeks flush in embarrassment for the moan that I’d allowed to pass through my lips.
“In theory, that makes sense,” he said, once he regained his composure. “Except I’m sure a lot of the corrupted politicians started out honest. Look at it this way…you have to spend money if you expect to run in a large campaign. To spend that money, you have to make it—donations. Well, corrupted individuals that want the law in their favor will back you, and at some point, they’ll want to cash in the IOU. I don’t want any part of that. So I decided to teach our youth instead. I hate how this generation doesn’t pay any attention to the news. They have no idea what is going on in the world around them…hell, they don’t even know what’s going on in their own back yard. They halfway hear things and then take it for face value. Sarah Palin for instance. I won’t get into my opinion of her, because that could take all day. But I’m sure you’ve heard the rumor about how she said she could see Russia from her house. A lot of people honestly believe she said that. But in truth, Tina Fey said that during a skit for Saturday Night Live where she was impersonating Palin. I just want the youth to pay attention more instead of believing hearsay. And not just regarding politics, either. And that’s just one example out of way too many.”
“My generation thanks you,” I said with a smirk.
“Any thought about what you want to do after school?”
I shrugged, wondering how to explain my goals. “Well, there is something I’ve always wanted to do, but I don’t know if I’ll like it since I’ve never been given the opportunity to try. And my mom wants me to be a lawyer. But honestly, I have zero desire to do that.”