“Mommy! Where is he?” Ayla bounced on the table, her excitement escalating. “I want to see him! Does he know about me?”
“Yes, sweetheart, he knows about you. And he’s just as excited about you as you are about him. I just want to make sure you’re ready. Because if you’re scared, or you need time, now is when you should tell me. Okay?”
Ayla nodded, clapping her hands in front of her.
I swallowed, locking eyes with Aubrey—hers were wide with fear. Nerves attacked my stomach, causing me to become nauseated. I’d never felt such anxiety in my life. But it was what I wanted. I just needed to get through it.
“I can’t do it,” Bree whispered to me, her inhalations short and panicked.
I moved to sit next to her on the couch, directly in front of Ayla. I placed my hand over Bree’s and smiled through my own fear, hoping to offer some support and courage. “I love you,” I whispered back, barely heard at all. It came out as more of a breath across her face than actual words. But I knew she heard me. She felt me.
She turned back to Ayla, who sat patiently waiting with eager eyes. “How would you feel if Mr. Taylor was your daddy?” The apprehension was evident in her tone.
Ayla’s gaze moved to mine as she tilted her head to the side in thought. “I like him. He’s nice to me. And he’s handsome like my daddy. But he’s my teacher, silly. He can’t be my daddy.”
“But he is, sweetheart. Mr. Taylor is your father. Mommy knew him a long time ago, and fell in love with him. Like the way the princess falls in love with the prince.”
Her eyes grew even larger in awe and excitement. “You kissed my mommy and woke her up?”
“I did,” I said with a confidence I didn’t even know I had. “She was sleeping. The evil queen had her under a spell. And then I came in”—I glanced over at Bree—“on my white horse all decked out in shiny armor”—I winked and turned my attention back to Ayla—“and I kissed her, waking her up. But what the fairy tales don’t tell you is, the princess also wakes up the prince. Because before your mommy came around, before I ever met her, I was sleepwalking. And then she came and saved me. And we made you. And you’ve saved us both. So you’re a superhero princess, too.”
“How did you make me?” she asked with an inquisitive and curious tone.
My mind went blank, and all I could do was stare at her while sucking on my teeth and blinking. No words came to mind, no thoughts or creative explanations unfolded. Nothing.
Luckily, Bree saved me as she humorously answered, “When he woke me up, the fairy godmother waved her magic wand and gave you to me. And I’ve been waiting all this time for your daddy to ride back in on his horse”—she cut her eyes to me—“and all of his shiny armor”—with a grin, she turned back to Ayla—“and sweep us off our feet.”
“I like that story, Mommy,” she said with a giggle. “So what do I call you now? All of my friends call their daddies ‘Daddy,’ but I can’t call my teacher that.” Her hands began to fidget in her lap. She glanced down and studied them with a wrinkled forehead, deep in thought.
“You can call me whatever you want. But in school, you can keep calling me Mr. Taylor like the other kids.”
She perked up and her pretty little face relaxed. “So I can call you Daddy and Mr. Taylor? You have two names?”
“Yes, Ayla. If that’s what you want to call me. But since we’re talking about names…right now your last name is Bailey. Mine is Taylor. It’s up to you which name you want.”
Bree nudged my shoulder. “What he’s trying to say, sweetheart, is you get to choose your last name. How cool is that? You don’t have to change it if you don’t want to. Mommy picked your last name especially for you.”
“I can be McKayla Taylor?” she asked, and we both nodded. “So if I get in trouble…and you use my whole name…”
“I will say whatever name you choose, Ayla,” Bree answered with a laugh.
“Can I think about it?”
“Take all the time you need,” we both said in unison.
Ayla smiled but grew quiet.
“What’s wrong, honey?” Bree asked, worry setting in her tone.
Ayla stood and whispered in Bree’s ear, though it was something I couldn’t hear. But then Bree smirked and nodded, flicking her head in my direction. With bright eyes, the color directly between mine and Bree’s, Ayla moved to me and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck.
“I knew you’d find me,” she said softly in my ear.
And for the second time in my adult life, tears flooded my eyes, blurring my vision. But I didn’t stop them. I let them flow, feeling everything in that moment. The love, the loss, the missed time, but more importantly, the bright future that lay ahead for all of us.
Right up until bedtime, Ayla asked more questions about me, which we answered as best as we could, considering her age. Bree tucked her in while I waited on the couch. I wanted to go back there with her, kiss her forehead, and tell her goodnight, but I knew she was probably overwhelmed as it was. There was time to work that in later. I had all the time in the world.
When Bree came back, her shoulders fell as she made her way to the couch next to me. Her body slumped into the cushion and her head fell to my shoulder. My hand immediately reached for hers.
“I want to know everything. Start with the first time you heard her heartbeat, and end with this morning,” I said into her hair as I pressed my lips to her head.
She sighed, wrapping her arms around my torso and settling into me deeper as she told me everything I’d missed. Aside from horrible morning sickness, she had an easy pregnancy. After moving in with her dad, she attended a school for teen mothers, which allowed her to take Ayla with her once she was born. She went into labor two weeks early, and it scared her that something was wrong, but Ayla came out perfect, and was the happiest, easiest baby. Apparently, everyone thought so. She became the light in everyone’s eyes—that didn’t come as a surprise to me at all. Bree ended up graduating on time, despite taking time off after the delivery. She only missed six days of school. Her dad and stepmom—which Bree called “Mom” most of the time—didn’t want her to move out, but she was determined to do it on her own. Once she graduated high school, Bree and Sarah found an apartment close to their parents and moved out together. Bree admitted that it was hard, but the struggles were worth it in the end.
“How did you come up with her name?” I asked, interrupting her story for a minute with my own questions.
“I loved the name Ayla…kind of reminded me of Taylor. And I had a friend in school named Kayla. So I added mick to the beginning of it.”
“What’s her middle name?”
Bree stilled for a moment, taking in a deep breath before answering. “Rose.”
“No you didn’t. Really? What…is she eighty?”
We both laughed, but once we settled, she said, “I couldn’t give her your last name, or list you as the father, so that was my way of tying her to you. And I did some research about Guns N’ Roses, wanting her to have that connection, as well. Axl Rose was raised my his stepdad, William Bruce Bailey. But I didn’t want to be too brazen about it…otherwise, I would’ve named her Alexis, or Lexa. Believe me, those names came to mind. But I figured since my dad already knew your name, that wouldn’t be the best idea.”
“Yeah…I’m sure it wouldn’t have taken me that long to figure it out, either, had you done that.” I shifted my position, making her look at me. “Have you told your dad yet?”
“No. I’m too scared. He’s getting better, stronger, but I’m worried it’ll give him a heart attack or something. He’s never liked you much. I’ve told him pretty much everything about you. I mean, he said he appreciated all that you did for me, but believes you crossed a line you shouldn’t have. But honestly, I think a lot of that came from his own guilt over leaving me behind. Especially after he found out what my mom had done to me—my back and whatnot—he hated himself. He said he hadn’t protected me enough like he should’ve, and I think he thought I needed protection from you, as well. I don’t really know what his true feelings about you were, since it all seemed to be so muddled with his own. But I do know that he absolutely hates the boy that took my virginity, knocked me up, and then vanished, leaving me with a kid to raise all on my own. So…I guess he’s really gonna hate you now.”