‘No,’ she said. ‘That’s strike one, I’m afraid.’
‘I never get that,’ I said. ‘About baseball, I mean. They call it a strike when they don’t hit it. That’s what you meant, isn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘I never get that — any more than I get calling American football, football, when no one kicks the goddamn ball. At least hardly ever.’
‘Well, he didn’t know where Jérôme Dumas is. At least he said he didn’t. I don’t know whether or not you noticed the headphones on the ground by the sunlounger. They were Paris Saint-Germain Beats, by Dr Dre.’
‘I didn’t see that. No.’
‘Which are quite expensive, I think. At least a hundred euros.’
‘At least.’
‘And just the sort of thing that someone might bring a guy from Paris, as a present. Like the PSG charms key ring that was lying next to them. And the miniature PSG shirt in the acrylic glass ornament that was on the kitchen windowsill.’
‘You didn’t happen to see what number it was?’
‘Nine, I think.’
‘You see what I meant before? About me being a detective? That’s Jérôme’s shirt number.’ I grinned. ‘So much for my powers of observation.’
‘I expect you were trying to get your head around Antillean Creole.’
‘Maybe. I mean, I can speak good French, but I don’t understand a word of Creole.’
‘That’s the whole point of it. It’s not meant to be understood by the masters.’
‘Is that why you were speaking it? So that I wouldn’t understand?’
‘No. I was speaking Creole so that he wouldn’t feel threatened.’ She took my hand. ‘But I do like the idea of having a master.’
‘I can see I’m going to have to be quite firm with you.’
‘Oh, I do hope so, sir.’
‘Where to now, Mr Frodo?’
‘Back to the hotel. And from there we can get a taxi into Pointe-à-Pitre. For some lunch and then the next address on our list.’
‘If that guy knows where Jérôme is then he’s bound to tell him that we’re looking for him, don’t you think?’
‘I would say that’s half the point of us looking for him at the four addresses that I’ve been given by my client, wouldn’t you?’
‘In which case we might easily subvert the whole process and go to the last address on your list.’
‘We could do that, yes. But then you’d only have my word that it was the last address on my client’s list, wouldn’t you? So, I think we’ll just do this by the numbers. The way my client asked us to do this. You never know. We might incur some penalty for disobedience. And we wouldn’t want this decided by penalties, now would we?’
20
The Yacht Club in Pointe-à-Pitre wasn’t really a yacht club but a modern-looking restaurant on the edge of an empty harbour. It certainly didn’t look as if any of the smart yachts that came to winter in the Caribbean were mooring here in Guadeloupe. It wasn’t much of a restaurant either and I’ve had much better meals at Piebury Corner, near the Arsenal, and certainly less expensive ones. Guadeloupe used the euro and while there was nothing of any quality to buy and — on the evidence of the lunch we pushed around our plates at the Yacht Club — nothing to eat either, the prices were comparable with mainland France, which is to say, expensive.
It started to rain, which didn’t help my mood. The waiter came and drew down some screens to stop our table from being soaked. It seemed uncharacteristically thoughtful.
‘That’s the most expensive bad meal I’ve had in a long while,’ I remarked.
‘I’ll remind you that you said that at dinner. I warned you not to have the Creole Plate.’
‘The mobile signal’s not much better.’
‘No, but I’m really not surprised by that either.’
‘You’re not expecting much of an improvement then?’
‘In the signal? Or the food?’
‘Either one.’
‘Not until we’re back on Antigua.’
‘I’m beginning to understand why you’re over there and not here. You know, it’s a pity. You could do a lot with this island.’
‘If you were a Bond villain I guess you could. But what did you have in mind?’
‘I dunno.’
‘Perhaps, if they were able to prove that this was the island that Columbus discovered first, and not the Bahamas, they might get some Americans coming here. No one really knows for sure where he came ashore in 1492. If they could get some Americans then that might bring in some money.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘Without that it’s all a question of attitude. I think there would be more money spent here if the local people looked as if they gave a shit. Until that happens, this place is going to remain a backwater. Right now the most valuable export the island has are its footballers.’
‘That I can understand. Almost. But how is it that the French manage to export their ugliest tourists here? I like the French, I love the French, but these are the most badly dressed tourists you can find anywhere south of Blackpool. Anyway. How do you change an attitude?’
‘Give the place its independence, probably.’
‘Yes, I can see why that wouldn’t ever work in France. You’re talking about taking away the best chance France has of winning the next World Cup. And the one after that.’
‘Not everything’s about football, Scott.’
‘Who told you that?’ I grinned and finished a bottle of Carib, the local beer, which wasn’t very good either. ‘Football is, in point of fact, more important than everything. It’s only when people understand this that we’ll arrive at the true meaning of life and death and perhaps the universe, too. In fact Total Football is the only feasible theorem. Anything else is bound to fail.’
‘I’ve been away from Birmingham for too long. I never know when you’re joking. Or maybe I’ve just lost my sense of humour since I became a lawyer.’
‘Now that just can’t be true. After all, to support Aston Villa you need a good sense of humour.’
It stopped raining just as quickly as it had started and within minutes the temperatures were soaring again.
We left the restaurant and walked around the corner to the dock where the cruise ships were anchored. Halfway there we were intercepted by an almost toothless beggar to whom I gave a two euro coin. A row of shabby offices and shops that seemed to have gone out of business faced the dock, among them a ladies’ hairdresser with several faded photographs in the window that would have deterred any woman who cared what she looked like. Grace knocked on the door and peered through glass that was almost opaque with heat and dust.
‘This is one of the addresses?’ I asked.
‘That’s right.’
‘It doesn’t look like anyone’s been through this door in a while,’ I said, observing a pile of uncollected mail inside the door.
‘All the same, I think someone’s in there,’ said Grace, pressing her nose against the glass.
‘I doubt it,’ I said. ‘And I’m beginning to doubt why I’m here.’
‘We accept disappointment. But we don’t lose hope. The thing about mounting a search for someone or something is that there’s always a stage when it seems like a wild goose chase. Right up until the moment that you find what you’re looking for it helps to be patient, I think. Columbus teaches us that much, surely.’
‘True.’
Finally a door a few yards up the street opened and a woman poked her head out.
‘Weh?’
The woman was black, about forty, wearing a white blouse and with a sort of blue tartan turban on her head. In the lobes of her ears were earrings that looked like two golden fly-swats and around her neck was a yellow cotton scarf that was tied into a knot above her narrow waist. Once again the conversation was conducted in Creole. I was left staring up at the huge ship which looked even more like an office block than I’d supposed; there was a viewing deck and from it I could see the three of us being viewed by a man with a telescope. I was tempted to give him the finger — I thought of the number of times I’d wanted to do something like that in the dugout at Silvertown Dock on seeing the TV cameras focused on me, usually when something catastrophic had just occurred on the pitch — but fortunately I restrained myself long enough for the conversation to be completed.