It’s so quiet in here…
Crash the party.
Jon-Jon’s having a wonderful time.
Crash the party.
Becca is nowhere to be seen. Later I’ll find out via a text message that she wigged out and left the room around the time it got cold.
Crash the party.
It’s okay, I don’t want them to get what they want, but maybe this isn’t really what they want. They only want to think it’s cool. Most have no clue about the capability of a demon. I’m still figuring it out.
Crash the party.
“Are you still, uh, here with us? Bro?”
Real smooth.
In the quiet of the room, we see it. We all see it at once.
It’s so simple, I find it great. This is hilarious. Really funny.
“Nice choice,” I think. And then I immediately second-guess myself, finding it odd that I’m sort of, like, working with H on this.
But it still happens. And it happens beautifully.
It’s so quiet that the creaking of the door’s hinges gets their necks turning. All in that one direction, there it is, the closet door creaking open slowly. They get enough time to look and see and get what’s happening.
In the quiet and cold chill of the room, when I know what will happen, I can’t help but look on in fascination as the door completely opens and then…
. . holding on for one, seemingly tense moment and then…
Slam! The door slams shut so hard that it rattles the wall.
People trip and fall. They shout and scatter.
Brad’s repeating the words “No fucking way” over and over again, while grabbing on to my right shoulder.
Jon-Jon stands in place, putting on that cool performance, also loving every second of this.
I’m leaning forward, laughing.
I’m not laughing because I want them to be afraid.
I’m not laughing because I’m bitter.
Really, I’m laughing because it’s funny.
I find it really funny. I don’t think it’s wrong. Right? It’s actually funny. It’s maybe the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. They played right into the joke, a joke that wasn’t even called a joke until I knew that it was supposed to be a joke. And then I’m whispering to myself, “Good one.”
And it’s then that I know:
H saying without speaking, “They wanted a party.”
I’m laughing, laughing really hard.
Brad’s like, “What the fuck, bro? This is insane,” and then nearly bashes his head against the corner of a wall on the way out.
I watch as everyone filters out of the house. The only one left, Jon-Jon, says to me, “How successful do you think this was, on a scale of one to ten, ten being free booze and weed and whatever you want for a whole year?”
Course, I know what he’s saying.
He won’t be giving me a cut. He’s just going to make me go to him when I need more beer or liquor or weed. I breathe out and say, “Three.”
Jon-Jon’s already made his decision though: “A success. A complete success.” He walks out of the house, casual stroll and all.
I watched everyone leave, and now I feel like I can really breathe.
I’m in bed when I get a call from Blaire. I don’t second-guess it. She’s a friend and maybe she’s not angry anymore. Then again, was she ever?
Yeah, I pick up.
She’s the first to say something: “How did it go?”
“It went…” I don’t really know how to explain it, so she starts speaking for me.
“I know. It’s happening so fast. It’s hard to describe.”
“Yeah,” I say, trying to hold back a shiver.
“Can I come in?”
“Huh?”
“I’m outside,” she says, really more like a whisper.
“Everyone left. There’s nothing left to see.”
“That’s okay. Good, really.”
I sigh. “Yeah, whatever. Door’s open.”
She knows the drill. She knocks on my bedroom door and I’m reminded of the fact that she might not be allowed in the room, but then she’s already turning the doorknob and she’s inside.
“Hey.” She gives a little shy half-grin.
She knows not to annoy me, sitting across the room instead of next to me. For a while she doesn’t say anything. She isn’t shivering, cold like I am.
“You cold?” I ask.
“I’m not supposed to be cold.”
More time passes like this, nothing really said, just both of us in this room, dealing with whatever there is to be dealt. She asks me about my dreams.
“What do you mean?”
“The dreams, they’re probably really vivid, right?”
I don’t say anything.
“Yeah, it’ll just be like you can’t tell what’s a dream or actually real, but then you won’t care either.” Blaire isn’t looking at me as she talks, her head down, hands folded in her lap. “It feels so much like you’re dying while at the same time everything you’ve ever dreamed of coming true is actually happening. It’s becoming reality.”
“I don’t think so,” I tell her, probably just because I don’t want to admit that she’s right. It feels that way, doesn’t it?
She looks up at me, finally. “You’re not going through with it, are you?”
“Huh?”
She shakes her head. “If you don’t, then you don’t. It’s just that most people don’t go through all of it. They get up to, like, what you’re experiencing now and then they freak out, get confused, get the exorcism. Everyone wants it gone before they really understand what the kingdom is.”
The kingdom?
“They don’t really see any more than a small glimpse, and the first time you see anything from the other side, it’s scary as hell. You’re going to react like it’s all bad. People react and get it done. They throw a party, get high, get drunk. They never get what it is they passed up.”
It looks like she’s starting to cry, but before I can ask her, she’s wiping away the tears.
She keeps talking, and it’s clear that she just wants me to listen.
“The kingdom is as big as our world. It’s basically the same, except they avoid us, and we avoid them. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I just want you to know that if you don’t go through with it, I won’t look down on you. Okay?”
I clear my throat. “Um, okay.”
“I won’t think you’re stupid or insane or whatever.”
“Thanks.” I sound insincere.
“Things will get really, really bad before it gets any good.” She pauses and then adds, “And even then, it’s not like they’ll stick around either.”
I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything, and we sit in silence for a while. I’m surprised that I almost start to nod off. She brings me back when she gets up and starts to leave.
I ask her, “Why?”
She raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“The things you said, how do you know?”
“Oh.” She opens the door, looks back at me, and says, “I used to have one.” And then she leaves.
7
“THAT’S THE THING ABOUT CONVERSATIONS, THEY ARE almost always two-way, especially when there’s more than one person talking. I mean, look at how a person makes eye contact with a person they’re talking to. It’s straight on, you know? If they can, that is. A lot of people just kind of look around and then occasionally look at the person they’re talking to. But, anyway, you could have, like, ten people in a circle, talking, and even though it’s like everyone’s a part of the conversation, there’s only one or two people talking. If any more talk, it gets all crazy, like any other party, you know?
“You know what I mean?
“Right? You saw it tonight, how it’ll be someone talking to me and then Brad, or someone else will walk up and try to be a part of the conversation. Almost one hundred percent of the time, they’ll end up listening. Only way to really be a part of it is to butt in, and I mean really… just flat-out start talking over the other person.