Megan turned sideways and tucked a wisp of her hair behind her ear. It was in vain as the wind blew it out again right away. For once, she didn’t look like her usual bitchy self.
“You’re right, Josh. Some things never change.” Even her voice had lost its steely edge.
“What do you mean?”
“I still feel the same way about you as I did back in our freshman year.” Her hand came to rest on my knee. “I never let it go.”
I stared at her hand. I kept staring at it when it snaked down my knee along my thigh and… there I stopped it. “I’m married.”
“I know.”
She snuggled her face in the hollow of my neck and soon her lips were tracing along my jawline. I shut my eyes. I wanted those lips to belong to someone else. But the scent of wild daisies wasn’t there to make the kiss what it should have been. What it always was with Cassie.
Mine.
Ours.
“Josh, please. Let yourself go.” Her mouth landed on my mouth this time.
I pushed her away— more roughly than I’d wanted to—and stood. She jumped to her feet too, this time looking nothing like a Southern Belle.
“Megan, I’m sorry if coming here misled you. I needed a break from D.C.—”
“—from her. Don’t fool yourself, Josh. I saw how you both were at the Langford. You need more than a break. You need a divorce.”
“Shut up!”
She stepped closer and her hand now cupped my jaw. “This marriage of yours is all wrong. It’s going to cost you your future. You already have Bruce Carrington on your back. You don’t need—”
My fingers gripped her wrist tightly. She flinched and I pushed her away from me. “My marriage and my career are two different things.”
She shook her head as if she was negotiating a business deal. “Not on the Hill and you’re smart enough to know that.”
“And I’m smart enough to know what makes me happy. My family does and it’ll always take priority over everything else.”
Megan threw her head backwards and broke into a cruel laugh that made me question her sanity. “Listen to yourself, Josh. If you don’t sound like a politician right now, I’ll be damned. You make family values sound sexy.”
My own voice came from the frozen depths. “You’re right. Some things never change. You were already a waste of space back in freshman year and you still are.”
Megan wasn’t used to being told it like it is. Her mouth gaped open like a fish at feeding time. She recovered quickly though, and when she spoke, her words dripped with acid. “You should be more careful. I know a lot of people and—”
“—Stop right there, Megan.” I stepped towards her so that I towered over her with my full height. “Behind that pretty face of yours, there’s actually a sharp brain. I’ve never doubted that. So think twice before threatening me. Then think ten years down the line and of how much damage I could do to you… and whoever you end up married to.”
She chuckled bitterly. “Don’t dream too big.”
“Don’t get in my way.”
That sealed the end of my weekend in the Hamptons. I turned back towards the house, but Megan wasn’t done yet.
“You’re not fooling me, Josh. The day that wife of yours becomes too much of a burden, you’ll get her a one-way ticket back to Kansas.”
I turned back to face her. “You mention my wife one more time and I’ll get you a one-way ticket to hell. She’s off-limits.”
I hurried back to my bedroom because I had to find my one-way ticket to D.C.
I managed to fly from New York early that morning, then spent the entire afternoon spread on the sofa of our living room. I hadn’t closed my eyes after my four-a.m-‘chat’ with Megan Alistair. Boarding a plane with a hangover was the lamest idea after going to Megan’s weekender.
The Advil I’d taken was just starting to kick in. My senses were operating again because I picked up on the sound of keys rattling by the entrance. I quickly closed my laptop. It was a relief not to watch the same picture again.
“Hi,” Cassie said with a bright smile.
“Hi.” My voice was flat.
I watched her dropping her duffel bag on the floor. That bag used to belong to Mrs. O’s husband when he was in the Marines. I wished Mrs. O. could be here to tell me how to handle her granddaughter. Or handle myself.
I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my thighs. Cassie was watching me and, for once, I couldn’t read her. For once I couldn’t find my words either. Her shoulders drooped and she headed to the kitchen. I heard the water running in the faucet. It stopped and she walked back into the living room, then sat in the chair directly across from me. The only thing between us was the large metal coffee table.
Her hands were linked together on her lap. Her back was stiff, her lips tight.
The scene was the perfect rendition of ‘awkward silence.’
With one hand, I opened the laptop again, and turned it around so that the screen faced her.
She stretched forward to get a closer look at the picture and started to bite her lower lip. Her hands flew to the keyboard and I guessed she was scrolling up or down the screen. The blogger hadn’t kept much to himself: There were at least ten photos of my wife with Dupret.
I saw her mouth shaping into a ‘oh’ then a ‘ha’, then she bit her lip again.
“Do you believe any of this?” I didn’t miss the strain in her voice. Whether it was because she was fighting back tears or anger, I didn’t know.
“I don’t want to believe it.”
Fire flicked through her eyes. “Yes or no?”
Some of the snapshots flashed in front of my eyes once again. I swept them aside. I decided to trust my heart not my head. “No, I don’t.”
Relief spread over Cassie’s face. “Absolutely nothing happened with Shawn or… but I saw Sam there.”
“You mean the guy who proposed to you last summer and graciously offered to adopt my son? That Sam?”
“Yes, Sam Blackhawk. I had no idea he’d be there. It was meant to be a surprise.”
“Sure.”
Cassie slowly pushed the laptop back to my side of the table. “It’s a bit rich coming from you anyway. You spent the last couple of days with one of your exes. Anything to share?”
Lies and half-truths had cost us too much before. I’d never go down that route again. “Yes.” Cassie startled. “Megan made a pass on me.”
“And?” Her voice trembled and all I wanted then was to take her in my arms.
“I’d just seen those pictures of you and Dupret. It was the perfect set-up for a revenge fuck. But that was what I did in high school with Clarissa… and pretty much all the girls in our grade. I’m not going to make that same stupid mistake again.”
“Glad to hear it.” Her gaze escaped mine.
I had to straighten things up now. “Cass, I want you to be happy here in D.C. but I want you to know that I’m ready to compromise. I’m ambitious and I love my job, but I love you and Lucas more.”
I shifted the laptop sideways so that it didn’t stand between the two of us anymore. I extended my hand, palm upwards. She stared down at it, shut her eyes, opened them again and placed her hand in mine. Feeling her skin against mine sent a jolt of energy through my arm and my entire body.
“I’m happy here in D.C. It’s more my scene than L.A. so don’t worry about that.”
“I think we let ourselves down again though. Not being with Lucas for Christmas freaked you out. You panicked, but instead of sharing your fears, you cut yourself from me.” She gave a tiny nod. “And me? I tip-toed around the issue until… I went all badass on my dad and almost killed him.”
“If I hadn’t got Gran’s rifle, you wouldn’t have been pushed to do that.”
“I was trying to prove something to you.”
“What?”