As I was walking back to class, I received a text message from Jesse saying that he wanted to talk. I chose not to respond. I had to distance myself from him and anyone else Keiran could use to hurt me. Besides, there was nothing Jesse could do to help me and while we’d grown close, I didn’t feel comfortable discussing Keiran with him.
When the last bell finally rang, I walked outside and found Keiran, Keenan, Dash, and Quentin all standing around Keiran’s car. I had been wondering how I would get home when Keiran didn’t show up for fifth period. Willow was there but after what happened Saturday night and the phone call, I felt too guilty to look her in the eye much less ask for a ride home. Keiran would also likely find out that I disobeyed him again. It all made me question once more if I was doing the right thing. The ending fate of the dead girl in the picture told me I was.
As I approached the car the guys stared at me but I didn’t let my nervousness from their scrutiny show. I lifted my chin and walked up to Keiran. “Take me home,” I ordered.
The guys chuckled as if I just told a joke while Keiran watched me but didn’t say anything. I tightened my hand on the strap of my bag and met his stare but a few seconds later I started to waver. He wanted me to squirm and damn it, it was working. He managed to pick away my defenses and toss them away.
“Your girl doesn’t have any manners,” Dash commented. Keiran rubbed his chin where his stubble was growing thicker and grunted.
“I think she does it for attention,” Keenan quipped.
“You would know all about begging for attention wouldn’t you?” Keenan was a walking advertiser for a kid with daddy issues. He played the rebel and the whore but I saw right through his act.
“Yeah, but I don’t beg as well as you do,” he said smugly.
My face reddened at the reminder of Keiran and me in the kitchen the other day. I still couldn’t believe Keiran allowed him to watch us but then Keiran didn’t have any warm feelings toward me. I was just another girl that spread her legs for him. “You’re a perverted –”
“Enough,” Keiran commanded. “Get in the car.” He opened his door and pushed the seat forward so that I could climb in the back.
Once seated in the car, he slammed the door closed. I tapped my foot impatiently while he continued to talk to his friends. I pulled out my phone to text my aunt. My worry for her kept me checking in with her more frequently than was normally necessary.
The school parking lot was nearly empty by the time he decided to leave. He and Keenan climbed in the car and we sped out of the parking lot. I watched the town pass by through the window and tried not to listen to their conversation. Keenan was yet again talking about some hot chick that wanted to bang him. I honestly didn’t know what Sheldon saw in him. He was a pig.
My body wasn’t accustomed to all the sex I had over the last twenty-four hours so I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes and before long I had fallen asleep.
Somewhere between sleep and wake, I felt the car stop and heard a door open. I reluctantly opened my eyes and when I noticed I was home after all, I sat up with excitement. I thought for sure Keiran would lock me away in his house again where I could service him at anytime.
Keiran slid out of his car and lifted his seat. I eagerly stepped out and walked to the door without looking back or saying goodbye. As much as my body enjoyed what he did to me, I was exhausted. I unlocked the door and stepped inside but when I tried to close it he stopped it with a hand on the door. I turned around in surprise to see him walk inside.
“I thought you were leaving?” I asked, nervously.
“Take your clothes off,” he ordered. His voice was husky and aroused as slowly shut the door and shed his shirt.
* * *
The disheartening thud of the door shutting after his departure echoed in my ears. I listened to him drive off from the couch where he left me naked, spent, and sore. Only when I couldn’t hear the sound of his engine anymore did I pick myself up from the couch. Before heading upstairs for a soak, I picked my clothes up from the hallway where they were discarded.
I felt many emotions but the one that was dominant was disappointment. He took me hard and then left without a word. It was pretty much the way he’d always treat me after he had me. He’d fuck me then ignore me. I may have been a virgin when we had sex but I wasn’t naive enough to think that this was normal.
My inexperience was caused in part because Keiran made it his mission to run off any guy that showed an interest in me…even the unpopular ones. My first kiss ended in a disaster because of him. I decided to join the Math club because I was good with numbers and hoped to make friends. Willow was the love of my life as far as best friends go but I couldn't smother her.
After two weeks in the club, Peter asked me out and I immediately accepted. He was nice and pretty cute. He also wasn't popular either so we understood each other, or so I thought. He asked to kiss me one afternoon as we were leaving from a meeting and I let him because I had never been kissed before. It was a simple, close-mouthed kiss that didn’t get far. I just didn’t realize that he had been watching us…
* * *
“ What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I heard a gruff voice bark. He sounded more intimidating than usual. I looked up to find a furious Keiran, sweaty, in his practice uniform.
We were right outside the gym doors and because of my eagerness, I didn't process the danger of sticking around too long. But what threw me off was that he wasn't looking at me. He was glaring at Peter who looked like he was trying to disappear into the wall. If looks could kill…
“Get the fuck out of here,” he snarled at Peter making him run off instantly. I blinked not believing how fast he was gone. I turned to leave not wanting to dance with the devil.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I stopped in my tracks but didn't turn around even when I heard him move closer.
“You” – he began but stopped and I heard a loud slam and I jumped, realizing he punched must have punched a locker. Oh God. “Fucking look at me!” he roared. I slowly turned, terrified of what I might see. Keiran stood there – fists clenched, chest heaving. His jaw was clenched and I could see that a vein near his temple was throbbing.
He was furious.
Years of him bullying and taunting me, I’ve never seen him this angry, not even when he pushed me off the monkey bars. I was used to cool indifference…hatred even. But this…I didn't know and I wasn't sure I could handle him like this.
“You let him touch you.” He said the ‘touch’ with disgust as if it was hard to imagine someone liking me or even wanting me. I hugged myself for comfort, fighting back tears. I couldn't let him tear me down like this.
“Keiran plea –”
“Shut up,” he ordered. The first tear felt like acid as it burned its way down my face. “You don't get to say my name. Not now…not ever,” he sneered.
I sucked in a breath at the cold hatred spilling from him in waves… I was drowning in it, my tears over-spilling now. He turned abruptly and headed for the exit. I stood frozen in the middle of hallway when I heard tires squeal and knew it was Keiran taking off. I finally dropped to my knees sobbing as I felt a pain to my heart that I couldn’t describe. I felt like I betrayed him somehow.
The next morning I found out by some random girl in the hallway that I wasn’t a part of the Math club anymore. I tried going to the meeting that afternoon but apparently the meeting place moved. I didn't know what was going on but I always had a feeling Keiran was behind it.