Miles found Celeste walking on the edge of an artificial pond in the back of the property. She tossed pebbles in the water. She stood far from the blanket of walls. She lifted her face to the wind, to the sun.
‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.
‘Remembering. Not thinking. Just… remembering. I have two presents for you.’
‘Not my birthday.’
‘Surprise, yes it is. A new start. A new life.’ She pulled from her pocket the confession he’d left for her. They’d been back in Santa Fe for three weeks; she had not mentioned the confession; he had not asked for it. ‘This is yours.’
‘I guess it made for a rotten gift.’ He stared at his feet.
‘But it’s not the truth. You know you didn’t kill him.’
‘I still screwed up. If I hadn’t panicked him…’
‘You didn’t kill him, Miles, and the FBI will deal with the man who did.’ She pushed the paper into his hands. ‘It’s not a confession anymore, it’s the last chapter of your old life. I would rather focus on the new.’
He tore the confession into slow, deliberate shreds, cast the fluttering bits onto the calm of the waters.
‘You mentioned two presents,’ he reminded her when he was done.
She answered, ‘I’m starting on the new Frost today.’
He said nothing.
‘I can’t bear the memories of Brian dying. I need Frost. So I can move on…’ She put her hand to his cheek, the we unspoken. So we can move on.
Would you forget the worst moment of your life? He knew he hadn’t killed Andy. His worst moment was not of being a murderer but of being helpless to save his murdered friend. He never wanted to be helpless again. Never so alone again. He couldn’t have his old life back – but he would do whatever it took to have a new life.
He glanced at the opposite bank. Andy still stood there, shaking his head, frowning, saying, ‘No, don’t do it, Miles, don’t make me go. I want to stay. Always.’
‘Is he there?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, and mad at me.’
Celeste opened her closed fist. A white pill lay on her open palm, white as the torn shreds floating like confetti on the water.
Miles took the Frost pill from her palm. He slipped it into his mouth, put it on his tongue. Celeste closed her fingers around his.
He swallowed and opened his eyes.
‘Let’s go have dinner,’ she said. He nodded, and walked away from the pond with her, not looking behind him, because, he hoped, there was nothing for him to see.