Penetration wasn’t easy, it had been a pathetically long time for her, but Dax slowed, teasing her aching, swollen flesh with his knowing fingers until she was ready to take him. He was huge, hot and throbbing inside her. Unbearably aroused, Amber tossed her head back, lifted her hips and sobbed as unfamiliar sensations rocketed through her. She was on the very edge, teetering, madly trying to regain her balance, but he didn’t allow it.
“Let it happen,” he whispered, his fingers teasing and urging and tormenting. “Come for me, Amber. Come for me now.”
The pleasure was so intense she couldn’t have held back if she’d wanted to. She was wild, completely out of herself, as the orgasm took her.
And took her.
It was endless. Above her, she felt him convulse, heard his hoarse cry, then they fell together, trembling, their hearts pounding violently.
Amber had no idea how much time passed before Dax lifted his head and stroked the damp hair from her face. “You okay?”
She thought about it and smiled. “Yes.” Crazy as it seemed, she was definitely okay.
Wrung out by their hollowing, grinding, shattering emotions, they dozed then, still locked in each other’s arms.
“ARE YOU TAKEN?” The minute the words fell out of her mouth, Amber winced. Stupid. And if she hadn’t so neatly cut herself off from socializing all these years, she could have done better. “I mean-”
Besides her, Dax laughed softly. “I know what you mean. And no, I’m not married, I never would have made love to you otherwise.”
They’d made love. Good Lord.
And they’d had two more aftershocks. They sat side by side, still beneath the desk. Mortified as Amber was over what they’d done, Dax had refused to let her leave the safety of their meager protection.
“Not that I have anything against the institution of marriage in general,” he offered. “But I come from a huge family. Five meddling sisters and two equally meddling parents. Ten nieces and nephews. Tons of diapers and messes and wild family dinners.” She felt his mock shudder.
It had always been just her father and herself, so Amber could only imagine the sort of life he described. But family or not, she could understand his need to be alone, uncommitted. She herself was alone most of the time, and greatly preferred it to the alternative. Letting someone in meant letting someone have control over her, which was not an option.
She’d had enough of that to last her a lifetime; first with her father, who’d been almost maniacal in his desire to curb her every impulse, and then she’d repeated the cycle with her ex-fiancé.
She didn’t intend to make that mistake again, ever.
“I plan to settle down in another twenty years or so.” Dax’s voice had a smile in it. “Maybe when I’m forty. Just in time to have a double rocking chair on my porch.” Then his amusement faded away. “That’s my hope anyway.”
If I live.
His unspoken words hung between them. “They’ll worry about me,” he said after a moment, very softly. “I hate knowing that.”
She could hear the deep, abiding love he had for the people he cared about, and wondered what it would be like to know she was unconditionally loved that way.
“How about you?” he asked. “Who do you share your life with? Who’s missing you right now, worrying about you?”
She opened her mouth, but had nothing to say.
“What? Too personal?” He let out a little laugh and nudged her. “What could be more personal than what we’ve already done together? Come on, now. Share.”
“No one.”
“No one what?”
“There’s…no one.”
He was quiet for a moment. Probably horrified. “I have a hard time believing a woman like you has no one in her life,” he said finally, very gently.
It shocked her, the way he said “a woman like you.” His voice held admiration, attraction, tenderness.
Under different circumstances, she might have laughed. The truth was she’d been a wallflower nearly all her life. Only when she’d struck out on her own, ruthlessly devouring magazines and books on fashion and style, had her appearance changed so that no one could actually see that wallflower within her. To the world, she appeared cool, elegant, sophisticated.
Apparently she’d fooled him, too.
“Amber?”
“I think you know I don’t have a lover,” she said quietly. “Not recently anyway.” She ducked her hot cheeks to rest them against her bent knees. “No attachments.”
She could feel him studying her. Could feel his curiosity and confusion.
“There’s no shame in that.” He slid a hand up and down her back.
No, maybe not, she thought wearily. But there was in her memory. “I was engaged once,” she admitted. “Several years ago. It didn’t work out.” She didn’t add she’d discovered her fiancé had been handpicked by her father, drawn to her by the promise of promotion. That Roy had used her to further his military career, instead of really loving her as she’d allowed herself to imagine, had been devastating.
So had her father’s involvement.
Of course he’d been bitterly disappointed when she’d backed out of the arrangement. She’d failed him, and he’d made that perfectly clear.
Well, dammit, he’d failed her, too.
After that, Amber had hardened herself. Being alone was best. No involvement, no pain. She believed it with all her shut-off heart.
“I’m sorry.” Dax reached for her hand, but at the pity she heard in his voice, she flinched away.
“No, don’t,” he whispered, scooting closer, feeling for her face to make sure she was looking at him. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, but I’m not sorry you’re alone now.”
She had no idea what to say to that.
“Don’t regret what happened here, between us. I don’t.”
It was difficult to maintain any sort of distance when the man was continually touching her with both that voice and his hands. He was so compassionate, so giving, and he was doing his absolute best to keep her comfortable, all the while filling her with a traitorous sexual awareness.
For the first time in her life, she wondered if she’d judged her mother too harshly. It wasn’t a thought that sat well with her.
“Amber?”
That was another thing about him, he refused to let her hide, even from herself. “I won’t regret it,” she promised, knowing they were going to die anyway. “It would be a waste to regret something so wonderful.”
“Yes, it would.”
“I don’t want to die.” She hadn’t meant to say it, but there it was.
The words hung between them.
“The ceiling is holding,” he said after a moment. “The desk has protected us.”
Yes, but they would be crushed soon enough. The ceiling above them was still making groaning noises and no amount of reassurances or placating lies could cover that up. They knew from Dax’s careful exploring that one corner of the office had collapsed under tons of dirt and brick. They now had half the space they’d had originally.
Suddenly Dax froze.
“What-”
Dax put his fingers to her mouth. “Shh.” He sat rigidly still, poised, listening. “Hear that?”
She tried. “No.”
He surged to his feet, banging his head on the desk. He swore ripely, apologized hastily, then crawled out and shouted.
“What are you doing?” Amber demanded, fear clogging her throat. He’d get hurt, something would fall on him.
She’d be alone.
Always alone.
She didn’t want to die that way.
“Someone’s up there,” he told her with a shocked laugh. “They’re looking for us. Listen!”
Then she heard it, the unmistakable shouts of people.