“Julia, I love you,” he cuts in, holding me back to stare down into my eyes. “Don’t you get it? I love you. There is nothing you could do to keep me away. There is nothing I wouldn’t forgive you for. There is nothing I won’t do to keep you safe. Don’t you see? I need you in the worst way. I’m fucking terrified by it, by the enormity of it, by the weight of it, by the endlessness of it.”
He shakes his head, eyes shining like he can’t believe his own words. “I can barely breathe when I look at you. But when I’m not looking at you, it feels like I’m drowning. And it hurts, Jules. It always hurts. Everyone I love… they never last. There’s this tiny voice in my head telling me to push you away, to set you free, to not shackle you with this—with me. And I never want to hold you back, but, goddammit, Julia, I don’t think I can bear to let you go. So you might just have to be stuck with me.”
A stray tear trails down my cheek. His gaze traces it as one thumb moves up to brush it away. I shake my head in disbelief, setting another tear loose down my opposite cheek.
“Emmett, people who love you will never hold you back. They will lift you up. Being loved by you? It doesn’t feel like being shackled.” I reach up, dusting my fingertips over his forehead and across the top of his perfectly golden hair. “It feels like the most precious gift. It feels like finally coming home.”
I push up onto my tiptoes and kiss him, hard and tender all at once, pouring myself into it, wanting him to feel my love.
This man sprouted from a boy who, somewhere along the way, convinced himself that there was something unlovable about him. That hiding his heart away would be for the greater good.
But that stops here. That ends with me. I pull back only far enough to murmur against his lips. “Emmett Brandt, don’t you get it? I love you too.”
My whispered words make him drop his head into the crook of my neck and breathe me in. I feel the dampness from his eyes against my skin as my fingers trail through his hair the way he did mine earlier in bed.
“So if you don’t mind, I’ll keep loving you back. And hopefully, that feeling will hurt a little less every day. Because you’re stuck with me. This is going to last. I feel it in my bones. So I’m glad I’m here, shackled to you. It’ll give me all the time in the world to show you how good we’re going to be.”
His shoulders heave on a silent sob, and he grips me tighter.
He kisses my neck. And I kiss his cheeks.
And when he draws back, we stare at each other. He searches my face, and I search his.
I think we’re both looking for a shred of doubt. And we find nothing but love brimming there.
He nods slowly now, lifting his fingers to trace them over my cheekbone, my hair, over my throat. Like he can’t believe that I’m here standing before him.
He swallows, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob. And then he peeks back up at me through tear-clumped lashes. “We are going to be good, aren’t we?”
CHAPTER 47
Emmett
Emmett
Troops. Julia and I can’t leave the cabin, but we’re out of food. So… send help, aka food.
Riley
Boning too much to leave the house might be an excessive amount of information for the family chat. Sorry, I can’t help—I’m out of town.
Evan
I could bring you something. But I’m going to need you to be decent when you answer the door.
Emmett
You guys, please stop. I’m working on getting out of the show contract. And for legal reasons, cannot leave the house. We are starving, though.
Parker
If this has to do with skewering that Dick Wad creep, then count me in. I’ll bring you all the food you want.
Opa
Me too. I fucking hate that guy.
Oma
Me three. I just like causing trouble. LOL.
My stomach growls, and Julia sends me a pitiful look from where she’s lounging next to me on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Water and Tylenol have taken the edge off, but waiting for food to arrive has still been borderline torturous.
But as if I manifested it into reality, the doorbell rings.
“Thank fuck,” I mutter, pushing to stand as I head for the door. I nudge the small curtain to the side to check out the window and make sure that this isn’t Dick Wad pulling some shady shit. But I come up short when I see who is standing on the front steps.
Two people in costumes clearly raided from the Halloween box in the shed. A blow-up unicorn and a blow-up T. rex.
The unicorn balances two boxes of pizza with a half sack of beer stacked on top, and the T. rex holds a Deep and Delicious frozen chocolate cake and a bottle of wine.
“Special delivery!” they shout in unison, their filmy costumes fluttering as they jiggle their seven-foot frames.
“Jesus Christ.” Laughter shakes my shoulders.
“What?” Julia pushes to her feet and jogs over to the window. Her mouth pops open. “Is that—” Her giggle cuts her off.
“Parker and Evan? Yes. I believe it is.”
We open the door for the two animals, chuckling as they dance on the spot. “What the hell are you two doing?”
“Who, us?” Evan presses a hoof to his chest in mock offense. “We are simply putting on a show for the cameras.”
“If Dick Wad wants good TV, then we’re going to give it to him,” Parker adds before ramming her T. rex’s head into the unicorn’s neck, roaring like she’s mauling the mythical creature.
I don’t know if it’s exhaustion, adrenaline, the heavy emotions, or just that this is hilarious, but Julia and I burst out laughing.
They hand over the food, high-five their mismatched paws, and gallop down the driveway with a whinny and a roar.
“I love you, Emmett!” Parker bellows, loud enough for the cameras.
“No, I love you more, Emmett!” Evan volleys back before they dissolve into laughter and disappear into the dark.
“They’re officially the best,” Julia says as she watches them vanish with a wide grin on her face.
“They’re…” My head joggles. “Something. I’m lucky to have them.”
“And they’re lucky to have you.”
I smile softly at the warmth blooming in my chest before kicking the door shut and locking it behind me. Heading back to the island, I set our food up. But it isn’t long before my phone pings again. It’s Oma.
Oma
I heard those two yahoos just brought you booze and sugar and greasy junk food, so I’m coming over with a salad.
Julia shrugs as she reads my screen from over my shoulder. “I’d eat a salad.”
A text from Opa comes through.
Opa
You’re not going to want to see this.
I laugh and fire a text back.
Emmett
No way. After Parker and Evan’s shenanigans, I can’t wait to see what Oma comes up with.
Opa
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
One slice of pizza and several minutes later, there’s a knock on the door that has Julia and me sprinting to answer it. When I tug the knob, I look down and see a bowl of salad covered in Saran Wrap on the doormat.