All because of her.
“Rex?” No more laughter in her voice, the breathy way she says my name fires my blood. She rolls her hips, grinding against me.
My body jolts to life, standing at attention and ready to fight another battle. Confident, stronger and more capable than ever before.
I nip her earlobe. “You’re not finished with me.”
“Never.”
Seventeen
New beginnings
Past is gone.
Future possibilities
We can’t go wrong.
Rex
It’s dark in Mac’s room. Our naked bodies are tangled together on top of her comforter. The room is quiet except for the sound of soft breathing at my ear.
Did she fall asleep? I don’t know how long we’ve been like this. My head’s been all over the place with what happened tonight. I took the time to learn her body so intimately that when we finally got to having sex it wasn’t the violent crash of meaningless fucking that I’m used to. It was something else completely.
It was Earth-shifting shit, the kind that leaves me a different man than I was when I walked in this room.
I never thought I’d have the things I have with her. And even though the visions and the shame ride me hard when we’re like this, her presence dulls their effect. Most of my life sex made me sick, so I avoided it or shared it with someone who didn’t mean anything. But being with someone who means something makes it better.
Thinking about it now, it seems so logical. I mean look at Blake and Jonah. Those guys went from a lifetime of playboy-hood to freakin’ marriage proposals, all because they hooked up with a good woman.
If the girls were their cure, is it possible Mac could be mine?
Could I be with her on a regular basis? Dinner dates, movie nights?
A slow smile pulls at my lips. Hell yeah, I could.
“Mac, baby?” I kiss her head, and she peeks up at me in the dark. “You sleeping?”
“Nah, just thinking.” She kisses my chest.
“About kicking my ass out of your bed?” I don’t think I could leave her now if she asked me to.
“No, the opposite, actually.”
Just when my chest can’t get any warmer, feel any fuller, it does. “Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I tell you what. Let me hit the head real quick. We’ll crawl under this kick-ass comforter and you can tell me all about the opposite while I hold your naked ass in my hand.” Yep, no onset of the pukes. Amazing.
A deep laugh rumbles in her chest and dammit to hell that shit is sexy. “Sounds perfect.”
She moves to free herself from my hold, but my arms convulse around her. “Wait up.”
Her body falls back into place with mine. She’s quiet.
“About tonight, I know that wasn’t the sweetest experience for you. I uh . . .” I exhale and try to say what I need to say while sparing my dignity. “It’ll get better. With time, I think I’ll get better.” The sex was amazing; it’s the me-getting-better part I hope she gets.
She shakes her head. “Not possible. Can’t get more perfect than perfect.”
Perfect? My hand around her throat, my teeth biting into her skin, holding her so tight it left marks. She thought that was perfect? Heat rushes to my face and I turn my head to avoid her assessing eyes.
“You may think I’m crazy, but I really like the way you are in bed. I like the way we are together.” She runs a finger from my temple to my jaw. “I wasn’t tolerating you, Rex. I was enjoying you.”
How is that possible? I don’t allow myself to go down that road and instead choose to concentrate on the meaning behind her words.
I’m wounded, not old wounds that have healed and left scars, but gaping gashes of blood and tissue. And she doesn’t care. Not only does she not care but she gets me.
Her yawn drags me from my thoughts. “Shit, we need to hit the sack.” I roll over her and bury my face in her neck. “For the record, I enjoyed you too. A lot.”
She runs her hand over my bare hip and up my back. “I noticed.”
I grin and drop a trail of kisses from her neck to her clavicle. “It’s impossible to walk away from you.”
“The bathroom’s only a few yards away. The faster you get gone, the quicker you’ll be back.” She hugs me tight, negating her words.
My mouth forges a path to her lips. “Less than five minutes.” I push up from the bed with the intention of taking the quickest piss known to man and then pulling Mac back into my arms.
She huffs and I feel her body shift behind me. With a soft click, the room is bathed in light before she drops back to the bed with a grunt.
I throw my legs over the bed and allow a second to get my bearings. Dropping my head into my hands, I rub my eyes. Fuck, this has been a long few weeks, training for the fight, dealing with my shit. I’m dead tired. After tomorrow night, I’m sleeping for a week.
My toes flex into the carpet. Damn, even my toes are sore.
Bracing my weight to stand, I catch something sticking out from under the bed. I blink then squint at the brown fur and tiny blue shirt. Partially hidden it’s hard to tell what—Is that a teddy bear? My arms go numb. I break out in a sweat. What the fuck?
I lean forward and pick it up. It’s a stuffed animal that’s seen better days; its fur is clumped together with dirt and age. The tiny blue shirt has been stitched in places, and the words Las Vegas in red are faded and cracked. My chest is too small to accommodate my hammering heart.
My hand shakes. I know this bear. I grip the toy so tight my knuckles burn. Visions. From dreams. This bear.
Oh no . . . Heat flashes through my body. I drop my forehead into my hand. Breathe, in . . . out . . .in . . . out.
“For me?”
“Yeah, he’s really soft . . .”
My breath hitches. The little girl. I close my eyes, reaching. Orange hair, gray eyes. Yes. There she is. I see her. We’re talking and . . . trying to hold hands. It’s tight. My body aches. Heart racing.
“I thought it might help you sleep.”
“Thanks, Gia.”
That’s her name. Gia, the little girl from my dreams, she gave me a bear like this. Or this bear. But how’s that possible? Nausea swells into my throat. I swallow the flooding saliva. What the fuck is happening? I can’t let Mac see me like this.
I push up off the bed and find my pants. I gotta get out of here. Dizziness knocks me off balance. The bear drops to the ground. I brace my weight on the bed.
“Rex?” Mac’s voice, mellow with sleep, the complete opposite of what’s going the fuck on in my head. “Are you leaving?”
I have my track pants on and I’m halfway to her bedroom door when a sharp peal blares in my head. “Fuck!” I cover my ears, but the sound doesn’t stop.
Static plays behind my eyes. I drop to my knees. My heart explodes in my chest, kicking hard enough to break my ribs. I’m dying.
Bright light spears the dark. A man dressed nice, walking down the stairs into a basement. Toward me. I’m scared. My palms sweat. I want him to like me. He tells me I’m pretty. Pretty . . . That’s not right.
“Rex!” I hear her. She’s so far away.
I rock on my knees. Make it go away. Don’t stop moving. Never stop moving. Stillness is death. God, I’m gonna die down here.
“I’ll get you out of here.”
It’s her. My Gia, she wanted to help me.
I remember.