One by one, I read a fighter’s name and match it with the appropriate packaged shirts. Eventually, the three guys filter out of the room, giving their versions of goodbye until I’m finally alone without distraction.
I hear the door behind me open occasionally, but I keep my back turned to avoid any uncomfortable conversation about my being in a man-only zone.
“T.B.” I search the cubbies until I find Trent Barker.
Shirts in. Next.
J.S. for Jonah Slade. Easy. Next.
The shirts get distributed quickly, and I relax knowing I’ll be out of there soon. Halfway through my task, I grab the next bundle.
“B.D.” I suppress a growl.
Thank goodness my interaction with Blake Daniels has been minimal my first week here. I stick to my desk, and he sticks to the training room. The few times I’ve seen him, we both do a great job ignoring each other.
“B.D., B.D., B.D….” Where is his name? I squat down, making sure to squeeze my knees together and turn to the side to avoid splitting my pencil skirt. His name isn’t down here either. “B.D.” I stand back up, my thighs quivering with the effort. Monday I’m wearing pants.
“That’s me, Mouse.”
I squeal and jump. The deep voice is so close to my ear, his hot breath tickles my skin.
Whirling around, I scowl. “You scared the shit out of me.”
The side of his mouth lifts. “Oh, now you’re back to street talkin’, huh?”
“Street talk… what?”
He puts his hands on his hips. “When I found you in the lobby you were street talkin’, then in front of Taylor you were all business. Surprised I got you back, Mouse. Thought I’d lost you to uptight corporate ass-kissing.”
I gasp, loud. “I do not ass-kiss.”
“The fuck you don’t.”
“You’re…”
“What?” He steps in close, his deep green eyes locked on mine.
I shake away the foggy feeling his proximity brings. “Crude.”
His lips twitch. “Crude?” Narrowing his eyes, he tilts his head. “You kiss your husband with that mouth?”
Recoiling from his question, I regain my composure as best I can and scowl. “I don’t have a husband. Not that that’s any of your business.”
His expression softens. “No husband?”
I’m not going to repeat myself.
I shove his t-shirt bundle into his chest, not at all noticing how incredibly hard it is. “Here. These are yours, B.D.”
He holds my hand to his chest, the folded tees being the only thing keeping me from flattening my palm against the heat of his body. My stomach flutters, the vibrations stirring my blood. What is it with me? It’s like I’m bait for cocky assholes.
“You want to know what B.D. stands for?” His eyes travel from my lips to my cheeks and back. My skin warms. “Do I make you nervous, Mouse?” His eyes look deep into mine, and I’m helpless to pull them away.
I want to scream that he makes me furious, but he holds even my speech captive.
“No husband.” He takes a step back, releasing his hold.
I blink, the connection severed by the distance between our bodies and the cold indifference in his eyes.
He tilts his head, and that panty-dropping crooked smile that radiates bad-boy like nothing I’ve ever seen lights his face. “Big Dick.”
“Excuse me?” My voice screeches and echoes throughout the room. I throw back an arm to steady my weight against the wall. Why am I so wobbly?
“B.D.” He chuckles to himself, turns, and walks to the back of the locker room and out of sight.
I stand and stare. What in the fuck just happened here? My mouth is dry, and my arms are tingling, my belly still tumbling.
He caught me off guard. I didn’t have a chance to put up my barrier, to put on the full armor of my confidence and my snark. Then he got close. Those eyes, full lips, and high cheekbones. No, I’m not attracted to that jerk.
I haul what’s left in my box onto the dolly and decide that finishing the job later sounds better than throwing myself at a guy I can’t stand.
This is wrong. I’m sick. I’ve been in a horrible relationship for so long I don’t even know what healthy attraction is.
I need to make new friends, meet new people. Tonight, I’m going to the bar for Rex’s show. Anything to get my mind off Big Dick.
Five
Blake
Fast and hard, exactly how I like it. The driving beat forces back my nagging thoughts. The pressures of life dissolve with a simple power chord or double bass hit. I break down each sound, mentally assigning it into its own category. I memorize without even trying. That’s the way it’s always been. Effortless.
“Hey, B. What’s up, man?” Caleb squeezes in next to me at the bar. “Fuck, I’m late. How long have they been playing?” He tilts his head toward the stage, where Ataxia is shredding.
“’Bout thirty minutes.” I take a swig of my beer, grateful for his interruption.
“Shit. I thought I’d get here in time for the first set.” He waves over the bartender and orders himself a drink.
I’m tired. After talking to my brother the other night, I’ve gotten shit for sleep. “I’ll take a double Jack. Neat.” A few of these should help knock me out.
The bartender nods and busies himself with our order.
Sorting through all the things I’m thinking and feeling, I’ve determined the mind-fucking culprit is anger. I’m mad that my dad’s a dick. Pissed that I had to give up things that were important to me. Resentful that I spent the first fifteen years of my life protecting a woman who couldn’t keep a fucking secret. Furious that my brother’s still stuck under my dad’s thumb.
The rest of my beer goes down in one chug. Ataxia drops a key, and Rex’s voice fills the room to explain they’ll be taking a break, but will be back for a final set.
“I thought you were training.” Caleb motions to the fresh drink the bartender placed in front of me.
“I am.” What’s he, my fuckin’ keeper? “What’s it to you?”
“Seems you should probably lay off the hard stuff before your fight. Wade’s been training like a maniac, man.”
Slamming the glass on the bar, I turn to face him. First Jonah, now Caleb? “You think I don’t know that? Shit, everyone in our camp’s been reminding me.”
He’s right. But between the shit in my head and the pain in my back, I need a little liquid painkiller. The new doc has me drinking protein shakes with some super-powered, medical-grade glucosamine and popping pills with ingredients that I can’t pronounce, but it ain’t helping.
I hold my head in my hands. It’s time to go see the doc about getting some real treatment. I hate admitting to my weakness. Any guy with a pair does. But Jonah had a point. I can’t pass up a shot at the title because I’m too prideful to get help. I hate it when he’s right.
I take another hit off my drink, but it tastes bitter. I ball up my napkin and toss it into the glass, where it soaks up the remaining Jack.
Fighting is my life. I need to pull my shit together. Nothing is more important. Including the pussy-ass pity party I’ve been throwing myself. No time to dwell on the shit I can’t change.
I turn my back on the bar and face the crowded club. Caleb gives me my moment of silence while I contemplate getting the fuck out of this place.
It’s then that I notice someone familiar across the room. Sitting at a high-top table alone, is a chick smiling and laughing with a waitress. How do I know her? Her blond hair is loose and wavy over her shoulders. A long-sleeved black shirt hugs her curves and makes her golden locks stand out like a beacon in a sea of darkness. I squint and study her face as she tosses her hair, laughing. Holy shit.