“For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you.”
My chest swells under the sincerity of her words. But even with her praise, I don’t know the answer to the question that has kept me from sleep and unsettled my stomach. “Do you think that with time, you could find it in your heart to forgive me?” It’s asking the impossible, I know that, but I have to fight for the chance to be with her.
She tilts her head and narrows her eyes. “Forgive you for what?”
“For what… I’ll say it if that’s what you need.” I don’t want to form the words I strangled you. I swallow the bile that surges in my throat. “Is that what you want, Layla, to hear me say it?”
She takes a few steps toward me. “Blake, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one that owes you an apology. If we’d never met, then Stewart wouldn’t have… it’s because of me that you ended up in jail.”
“No, that’s bullshit. I fucking…” Shit, why can’t I just say it?
“You were on steroids, Blake. He baited you.”
“I could’ve killed you.”
Her sharp intake of breath blares in the silence. “I don’t believe that,” she whispers. “I know you would’ve stopped.”
She’s doesn’t know that. I was fucking out of it, completely blacked out and raging.
“Layla, what I did is unforgivable. And Axelle saw the entire thing. Fuck.” I rub my eyes. Reliving this with her is as bad as going through it all over again.
“You protected us. Came back to rescue us. That’s what Axelle saw. The rest was fallout, and she understands that.”
“Mouse…” My voice cracks under the weight of my feelings. “I hurt you.”
She closes the space between us. I grip her waist and pull her close, afraid of losing her when she realizes I don’t deserve her touch. Her fingers slide up my biceps, over my shoulders, and lock behind my neck. I drop my forehead to hers and pinch my eyes closed, absorbing the comfort of her contact.
“No. You’re the one who got hurt. What they did to you, the things you must’ve been feeling? I’ll never forgive myself for not seeing it sooner.”
I blink open my eyes to see hers staring back. “You did. You warned me about the supplements, and I was too arrogant to listen. If only I’d paid closer attention.”
“Blake, we could do this all night. But the guilt? It’s so thick we’d never get through it. Is it possible just to forgive each other and move on?”
“I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness.”
“Bullshit. We were made for this moment, Blake. Everything that led us to this here, right now, is what makes us who we are. I forgive you. But will you ever forgive yourself?”
“I want to. I’m so sick of looking back.” I run my nose along hers. “Where do we go from here, Mouse?” I whisper against her skin.
Her eyes flutter shut. “Forward. One day at a time.”
“Together?”
“Always.” Her lips part.
Fuck, I’ve missed those lips. “Mouse, can I kiss you now?”
“I wish you would.”
Our mouths come together, unhurried. As much as I’d kill to use my tongue and teeth, to drain every ounce of taste from her mouth, I keep it light. My lips work against hers in deliberate, wet strokes. The weight of her head drops to the side, and she opens up to me. I moan against the sweet cinnamon that teases my senses as I reacquaint myself with her kiss.
I slide my hand up her spine, pressing her to me until the full swells of her breasts are flush with my chest. My pulse is racing. I flex my hips, the friction from my jeans a bold contrast to the softness of her body.
She grips my biceps and pushes up on her toes, dragging her soft, petite frame against the length of mine. Fuck yeah.
Nothing in life has ever felt this right.
This isn’t what I’d planned, but my body, hell my soul, can’t wait another second. I walk her back a few steps until she’s pressed against the wall. She moans deep into my mouth and hooks one leg around my thigh.
Cupping her ass, my palm meets bare skin. I run my finger along the strip of thong that disappears between her cheeks. “I need you.” I coax her higher. The heat from between her legs sears me through my jeans.
She wiggles impatiently and grinds down her hips in request. So damn hot.
“I can’t wait.” She hops up, and I support her weight as she wraps her legs around me, pushing the tight fabric of her dress up around her waist.
My face buried in her neck, I alternate running my nose and my lips along her neck, tasting and breathing in the delicate skin I thought I’d lost. My blood pounds with the urgency to get inside her. She flexes and releases her hips, once, twice…
Separated by only my jeans and a tiny strip of lace, it’d be so easy to take her like this. “Mouse, I want you. But here?”
She digs her heels into my lower back with a whimper. “Yes, here. Now.”
I pull back and meet her eyes. They’re intense and steady. The deep brown burns into mine, pleading with me not to let her go. “I’d do anything for you.”
She drops her head, inviting me back to the tender contours of her throat. So slender, and fragile.
A tremor of shame racks my body. I lean in with a gentle brush of my mouth, hoping to find redemption while I soothe the spot where I’d inflicted pain. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper against her neck and kiss a path to her lips.
“No more apologies.” Her hands grip my head, holding me close. “Kiss me.”
Our mouths crash together. Her nails bite into my shoulders as she pulls me closer. I fist my hands in her hair, unable to hold back my fierce show of possession. She arches her back against the wall, rubbing her hot little body against the straining bulge in my pants. I’ve never had a problem holding back my release, but she’s making it impossible.
I tug down a strap of her dress. The heat of a bare breast hits my hand. No bra. “Damn, sweetheart.” I lean down and feed myself one pink nipple, pulling it deep until she’s writhing in my arms.
She works herself against me, finding her own pleasure. So different from the woman who only a month ago was afraid to let go. Pride swells in my chest.
I slide my hand between us to pop the buttons of my jeans. I free my dick and press it against the heat of her wet panties.
“Blake, oh…” Her breath hitches as I move myself against her.
“What is it, Mouse?” I drop her other strap and suck her neglected breast into my mouth, pulling the pebbled flesh behind my teeth.
“More.” She groans and runs her nails along my skin.
Goosebumps race from my scalp to the floor, igniting my need to feel her. I slip my fingers beneath her panties. Fucking hell. I bite my lip, but it does nothing to muffle the growl that rumbles in my throat. She’s ready.
I want to sink myself so deep inside her that nothing can ever come between us again. Lose myself within her so all our mistakes disappear and all that remains is us. “Are you sure?”
She pulls back. Her face is flushed, lips parted, and she looks up at me from beneath her eyelashes. “For the first time in my life, I’m sure. I love you, Blake.”
Her words rocket through me with a burst of adrenaline. “I love you, Mouse.” I bury myself inside her in one thrust.
“Yes.” She cries out against my lips and her nails bite into my shoulders.
Holding her by her ass, I wait for her to adjust. She squirms in my hands.
“Easy, baby. I’ve been waiting too long for this. I want to take my time.”
She whimpers and rolls her hips. “It’s only been five days.”
“Feels like a lifetime.” I pull out slowly and push back with the same pace. My lips trace her collarbone.