"You're answering a question with a question. I'm not following."
"Right answers are found if you ask the right questions," he says, unhappy with me interrupting him. "Did you ever stop in front of a junk food store and wonder how many disadvantages this kind of food has?" He is dead serious. "All the exaggerated carbs, the saturated fat, and the oil used over and over again until it has lost its elasticity and natural color? Did you ever think this kind of food isn't much different from slow-poisoning yourself?"
"So?"
"So?" He asks this as if I am a dumb student, unable to understand the professor's lecture. "Did you ever research the ingredients of the hamburger you just ate, or ask what they inject into chickens to make them look so fat and delicious? Why the meat you bought feels so plastic you can't bite through it?"
Having known the Pillar for a while, I'm aware that he never talks in straight and clear sentences. I need to focus and read the truth between the lines. I am hoping this is leading somewhere.
"Actually, I did," I say. "Waltraud Wagner, the asylum's warden, gorges on such stuff all the time. Snacks, sweets, and stuff. She rarely eats a real meal of fruits or vegetables."
"I'm glad you did." He waves his cane higher and walks on. He glances at people as if he was sent down from heaven to inspect human stupidity. "Did any of the questions I just posed ever make you wonder about the government's role in all of this? How is it allowed to sell unhealthy food to a youth whose body desperately needs vitamins, healthy fat, and proteins, not an endless source of glucose and corn syrup?"
"I never thought of it, but now that you've mentioned it..."
"How about why there are only few commercials about vegetables, fruits, or natural foods?" He is like a train of unstoppable questions. "Why mostly chocolate, crackers, and fizzy drinks?"
I pull him by the hand and stop him. He complies. "What has any of this to do with the Muffin Man? What are you saying exactly?"
"This bar in my hand. Why is two pieces, Alice?" He taps it on his hand, a bit violently.
I read the cover. "Because it's for two people, not one."
"When was the last time you shared your Twinkie, Alice?" It's a rhetorical question, just like all the others. "The answer is 'almost never.'"
"Are you saying the Muffin Man is punishing us for allowing our children to grow fat at a young age, for letting them eat food that hurts them more than it helps them grow healthier?" I try to skip the lecture and get to the point.
"If you want to know the Muffin Man better, you need to study his surroundings." He holds me by the arms as if wanting to wake me up from sleepwalking. "Every killer, terrorist, and corrupted person you meet is a reflection of society. Look into the world around us and you will understand his insanity," he says. "You know why most terrorists and those who cause human destruction are never caught, Alice?"
For the first time, this isn't a rhetorical question. The Pillar expects me to answer it. It explains why the Wonderland Wars are beyond the reach of the police—the police who only follow physical evidence and logical procedure, dismissing the core method of catching a lunatic: knowing who he really is.
"Because in order to catch those madmen, we have to..." I look the Pillar in the eyes. It's a moment of epiphany to me. "We have to step into their shoes and live their insanity to know how they think."
The Pillar lets go of my arms and smiles. I am his smart and dedicated student now. He is a satisfied professor. He adds, "And be willing to live with the consequences of being exposed to such horrible minds."
"Are we done with the lecture now? Are you going to get to the point?"
He nods with closed eyes.
"Then tell me something," I say. "Tell me something that is an actual lead in this case."
"Gorgon Ramstein." The Pillar opens his eyes.
"What?"
"Professor Gorgon H. Ramstein."
Chapter 4 7
"Isn't that the man who owns the Fat Duck restaurants that are most famous for the mock turtle soup?" I ask, remembering Dr. Tom Truckle's obsession I with that soup?
"Yes, but he is much more than that," The Pillar says. "Gorgon Ramstein is an Oxford University professor who challenged a Fortune 500 company a few years ago, one of the world's biggest food manufacturers, to be precise."
"Go on."
"Years ago, trying to quadruple their profits, this high-profile company released this double chocolate bar," he says, pointing at the one in his hand. "One huge piece of hard candy, double its previous size, which had been big enough already that doctors advised against eating it a few time before."
"And?"
"Gorgon, specializing in Global Health and Development, scientifically proved this bar's drawbacks. Gorgon's proved that eating this bar for a whole year, say a bar per week, is nothing less than slow-poisoning yourself, and a strong reason for obesity for children. Thus, a slow death for the youth of Britain."
"I'm not getting—"
"Gorgon also proved that this bar messes with kids' brain cells and gets them to want more; they're addicted to the high amounts of sugar in it. These kids are just growing up; they are sensitive to everything."
"Did any one specialized authority look into Professor Ramstein's research?" This begins to interest me.
"Academically, everyone found his research plausible. The government, on the other hand, treated him as if he were the invisible man," he says. "Professor Ramstein filed a case against the food companies, based on his academically approved results."
"What was the verdict?"
"The court was persuaded by scientific research, and ordered the production of the huge bar to be stopped. They also fined the major company a hefty amount of millions of pounds," the Pillar replies.
"Fair enough."
"A year later, the tycoon company tricked the court and re-released the sugar-infested bars as a double bar, half for each person," the Pillar says. "It was a clever way out, and legal. There was no conclusive evidence that half of the bar did any immediate damage. But we all know that once a kid gets his hands on that bar, he will eat it from head to toe. The double was only a hoax."
"And the older verdict?"
"It meant nothing," the Pillar says. "We were practically talking about a new product."
"What happened to Professor Ramstein?" I suppose all his should tie together in the end.
"He didn't give up. He filed a few other cases, but they were all useless because the older court's members had been replaced. The newer ones seemed to favor the food company all the way. The case was lost."
"Even though Britain scientifically backed up the dangers of the portion of the bar?"
"Of course not," the Pillar says. "Ramstein’s research was noble, and most probably accurate, but in the insane world we live in you can't even prohibit smoking. Hell, there are countries in the world were killing hasn't been prohibited yet."
I can't seem to connect all of this to the Muffin Man, but I am sure the Pillar will eventually. Also, I find myself genuinely interested in the story. "Where is Professor Gorgon Ramstein now?" I ask.
"Where do you think, Alice?" The Pillar tilts his head and imitates the Cheshire's grin.
"Dead?" I resist clapping my hands on my mouth. "Assassinated by the Cheshire Cat?"
"They killed Ramstein's lawyer in a fabricated car accident first," the Pillar says. "You know who ordered the assassination?"