“Hey, Joze,” I whispered to her, taking a step her direction. She greeted me back with a powerful glare. “You look beautiful.”
Her glare went from powerful to lethal. Jesse subtly elbowed me in the stomach before tilting his head back. “Don’t make eye contact. Keep your mouth shut. Until the end of the ceremony.” One more elbow before a small smile appeared. “Please.”
“Fine,” I mouthed before clamping my mouth shut. The guitar player was just getting to the second chorus when Rowen stepped out from behind the front door. She looked beautiful—Jesse was one hell of a lucky man—but I only kept my eyes on her for a moment. They shifted to the woman standing off to my side.
Every eye was on the bride coming down the aisle, but mine were on the woman I could only dream would make the same journey down the aisle toward me. I could tell Josie knew I was staring at her. She was obviously ignoring me, and her middle finger was extended behind her bouquet so only my eyes would see. That was a sure sign.
The song ended. Rowen took Jesse’s hands at the altar, vows and rings were exchanged, a kiss was shared that went on far too long for my liking . . . but I couldn’t pay attention to any of it. The only thing I could focus on was Josie. I tried looking away from her, but it was impossible. Jesse had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and I had too. The only difference was that it had taken me much longer to admit that to myself. Josie and I were like oil and vinegar at times, and her temper only served to fuel mine, but we belonged together. There wasn’t any more doubt in my mind. We belonged together. I’d accepted that. The trick was finding out if she still believed that.
That was how I watched one of my best friends marry the woman he loved—through the eyes of the woman I did. Once she stopped paying attention to me, her glare disappeared. Josie went from smiling, to shedding a few happy tears, to beaming, to crying, and then she repeated it as Jesse and Rowen exchanged rings. When the preacher pronounced them husband and wife, she smiled and clapped—everyone else was hooting and hollering like they were at a honky-tonk and not a wedding—but there was something sad about her expression. Her eyes couldn’t mask the sadness.
As Jesse and Rowen took the trip back down the aisle together to yet another Cash song strummed on a guitar, the Walkers descended on them before they made it far. There was so much hugging and kissing and crying from all of those sisters that I squirmed where I was at the front. Once they’d made it past the Walker bottleneck, Josie moved beside me. I sucked in a breath and smiled, but she wouldn’t look at me. She clearly had something to say because she just stood there, practically shoulder to shoulder with me, looking expectant.
After a few more seconds, she sighed. “You’re supposed to escort me down the aisle.”
“Oh.” Well, that explained the look. I held out my elbow for her. “I didn’t know that.”
“You might have if you’d made it to the rehearsal last night.” She wove her arm through my elbow, but she made sure that as little of her arm touched mine as possible. I was back to being radioactive.
“Yeah, I guess so. I had a few things to figure out.” We were able to speak in normal voices because everyone was still cheering and clapping for the newly married couple who’d already made their way through the Walkers’ front door.
“Well, I hope you got figured out what you needed figuring out.” Josie’s voice wasn’t warm, and it wasn’t particularly cold either. It was just . . . absent. Removed.
“I think I did.” I had to tap the shoulders of a few people who were blocking our way. It’s a wedding, people, not a rock concert. Get a grip.
“Great for you.” Josie’s arm weaved out of mine as we approached the porch steps. Instead of climbing them with me, she turned away and headed toward the side of the house. “Bye, Black.”
I watched her until she disappeared, calculating my next move. Chase her and tell her what I needed to say before everyone sat down for the reception? Bide my time and catch her later after a few dances and a couple glasses of wine? I decided to go after her then because there was no sense in waiting. I’d waited too long already. I filed around the Walkers’ house—along with everyone else who was making their way to the big white tent set up in back. I lost sight of Josie in the crowd, but I kept moving forward. We’d wind up in the same spot eventually.
Inside of the tent, everyone took their seats around white tables set with white candles and flowers. I scanned everyone, not finding her. Just when I was about to head back out to see if she’d taken a detour, Mrs. Walker slipped up beside me.
“Your seat’s up here,” she said, putting her arm through mine and guiding me to the other end of the tent. “Are you all ready for your speech?”
My head whipped toward Mrs. Walker. “What speech?”
“The one the best man gives during the toast,” she replied, waving at someone we passed.
“No one said anything about a speech. I’m just here for the free food.”
Mrs. Walker nudged me gently. “And here I was thinking you were here for a different reason.” Her gaze shifted to a person sitting at the long table in front of us. Josie. Leave it to Mrs. Walker to save the pretenses.
“Yeah . . . about that . . .” I rubbed the back of my neck as I watched Josie. “I’m not sure that reason I’m here is super thrilled with me actually being here.”
“Here’s a little secret I’ll give away about us women.” Mrs. Walker leaned in, watching Josie with me. “Sometimes we act one way but feel another.”
“Are you telling me that Josie behaving like I’m the anti-Christ is all just an act?”
She smiled and patted my arm. “I’m saying why don’t you find out if it’s an act? There’s nothing to lose in at least finding out.”
“Besides my pride,” I mumbled.
“Pride’s overrated,” she said, moving toward a table of people waving at her. “Give humiliation a try.”
I didn’t care if I had to humiliate myself in front of every last person on the planet, nor did I care how I had to do it—it would be worth it to get Josie to hear me out. Since Josie was on one side of the bride and groom’s seats, I assumed mine was on the other side. The newlyweds weren’t there yet—knowing them, they were probably getting it on right then. For Jesse’s sake, I hoped people weren’t right when they said the sex went downhill after the I dos. Maybe I could work that into the speech. Shit—a speech. I would have to thank both of the Sterling-Walkers for the heads-up on that one. As I took my seat, I glanced at Josie. She was looking every direction but mine. Was Mrs. Walker right? Could she be only acting like she hated me? I wasn’t sure, but I would find out.
“Hey, Joze.” I angled my chair a little toward her and waited. “Josie?” I knew she’d heard me because her face was going a little red.
I was ready to say her name again when her head snapped my way. “You remember that little Bye, Black I issued back there?” Josie pointed toward the Walkers’ house. I didn’t have a chance to nod or reply. “That wasn’t a Bye, I’ll see you in a minute. That was a Bye, I never want to see you again.”
Those words, and that look on her face, gutted me. Act or no act, each of those words sliced through me. “Josie . . .” I had so much to say, so much to explain and apologize for, but that was all I could get out.
Her eyes closed and shook her head. “I warned you. I told you what would happen if you left me that night. That the . . . the . . . love I had for you then”—her voice caught, but after a moment, she lifted her shoulders and cleared her throat—“would change into something else. The opposite. It has.”
I wanted to reach for the glass of water on the table in front of me, but that seemed like too much work. Every scrap of energy had just been sucked out of me. “You hate me? You don’t love me anymore?”