“I love it.” Nicole admitted. “I always assumed that I would go into private practice. But there is something about the ER. I think that is where I belong.”
“The pressure?” I was slightly hesitant. “Aren’t you worried that you might …”
“Drink.” Nicole finished for me. “It was never the pressure that got to me. It was more the lack of it. Everyone seems to think that there was a some kind of catalyst for me being a drunk. Truth is there was no trauma, no event that sent me off the deep end. I started drinking the way everyone does. At some point I couldn’t tell you when, I was hooked. There is a chance that it’s genetic from the Kendell side or just luck of the draw. Who knows? The truth is that like most alcoholics I just like to drink.” She simply shrugged her shoulders at the thought. Nicole stopped looking for the why and only dealt with the reality of the situation. I had to admire her for that. “The Amazon told me to tell you that she is upstairs in the bedroom grading papers.”
Allison is in the bedroom so why am I down here? I wondered to myself as I stood quickly. “Feel like taking a walk?” Nicole offered. “Umm …” I stammered. Nicole laughed as I blushed. “I know she’s upstairs and the folks are out. Humor me.” Nicole explained gently. “Besides making her wait will be good for her and I thought I told you to let her rest while she was recovering.”
“Not my fault.” I argued.
“That’s not what I heard.” Nicole teased.
“Oh and did you and your sister have a nice chat in the kitchen?” I inquired mockingly.
“Yes as a matter of fact we did.” Nicole flashed that famous Kendell 100 watt smile at me. “Now get your coat and we’ll take a walk around the grounds.”
“A walk around the grounds?” I shook my head at her statement. “I don’t know if I will ever get use to the way you people talk.”
“What?” Nicole responded in confusion.
“Couldn’t you just say let’s go for a walk in the yard?”
“The yard? Huh.” Nicole just shook her head and lead me to gather our coats.
We went outside through the back. As I looked around I realized that the property extended past the pine trees I had seen through the kitchen windows. It looked more like a state park rather than someone’s home. “Still want to call it a yard?” Nicole teased me.
“Wow!” I gasped. “I cannot begin to imagine what it was like to grow up with all of this.” I made a sweeping motion with my arms.
“Doesn’t guarantee you happiness sweet pea.” Nicole pointed out thoughtfully.
We walked in silence for a short while taking in the refreshing cool night air as the light layer of snow crackled beneath our feet. I looked up into the clear winter sky and marveled at the stars. “Beautiful isn’t?” Nicole remarked. “David would love this he knew every constellation.” I said nothing knowing the gap David’s absence had created. “When he first fell in with those people we all thought nothing of it.” Nicole continued absently lost in her memories. “After all a little religion wasn’t a bad thing. I was certainly in no position to throw stones. Then he started to change and become more withdrawn. Then he was gone and it was too late to save him.”
I let Nicole set the pace of our walk and conversation. “The hell this family was enduring. It was one thing to lose a member of your family another to have them refuse to see you. Not knowing how they were or where they were.” I thought to myself as Nicole simply trodden steadily lost in her own thoughts. “You should have seen us when we were kids.” Nicole said proudly breaking the silence. “Allison always had to be the best and the brightest. And she was. David had to do everything she did. Whenever you saw Ally there was David tagging along behind her. Of course I had the both of them wrapped around my finger.” Nicole laughed slightly at the thought. “When we were little, David and I would sneak out of our bedrooms and climb into to bed with Ally and beg her to read to us. She would argue but we always wore her down. She read to us almost every night of our childhoods and it had to be Winnie The Pooh. We never wanted to hear anything else.” Nicole chuckled again.
“Is that why David called her Tigger?” I asked thinking of how sweet it must of been for those three little children.
“Yeah.” Nicole answered with a smile. “He said she did Tigger’s voice the best.”
“She did the voices?” I smiled at the idea of stoic Allison Kendell doing voices for the characters of Winnie The Pooh.
“Yep.” Nicole confirmed. “She did them all; Pooh, Owl, Piglet, the entire hundred acre woods. Looking back on it now it’s hard to believe that she really isn’t that much older than us. She’ll make a great Mom someday.”
“She will.” I agreed whole-heartedly. “I can see her rolling around with the kids … what am I saying?” I stopped myself from thinking so far into the future.
“Why did you stop?” Nicole asked seeming to already understand.
“I think that it’s a bit premature to start … you know making plans.” I muttered in my defense. “The truth is that Allison and I haven’t even been on a date yet.”
“Oh please.” Nicole laughed again. “I’ve been on thousands of dates that doesn’t mean anything.”
“That’s a lot of men Nicole.” I chastised her.
“Mostly.” Nicole said with a shrug. “Anywho … ” Nicole changed the subject as I wondered if she had just implied what I thought she did. ” … several years ago I came home for Thanksgiving and I was drunk of course. Allison started to rip into me. I gave it right back to her only I was cruel. For some reason I seemed to enjoy hurting people when I was drinking. I said something about my being a drunk, David was dysfunctional and Allison was a dyke. The three d’s I like to call it and somehow I thought it was funny. I started up about David again and that was it. Allison and I got into it big time. I could say whatever I wanted about her but David was off limits.”
“It must have been horrible.” I said quietly.
“It was.” Nicole confirmed. “Allison ended up tossing me out of the house during the turkey dinner. I started to rant about how she was a hotshot lawyer with a beautiful girlfriend yadayadayada. I was cruel. Imagine my surprise when Allison pointed out that not only was no longer a lawyer but she and Chris had split up. She was going to school and living with Mom and Dad. Who knew right?” I just nodded in agreement. “Apparently I did and simply forgot that all this happened over a year ago. Somehow I lost an entire year of my life.”
“Is that when you stopped drinking?” I asked carefully.
No.” Nicole sighed heavily. “It was a almost a year later. I broke into the house thinking no one was home. I needed money I was pretty much living on the streets at that point. I was going through Allison’s things looking for money when I found a tattered copy of Winnie The Pooh. That was it. Allison found me curled up clutching that book to my chest and crying like a baby. I will never forget how truly frighten she looked at that moment. The only thing I could say was Ally I need help. She took me to my first meeting that night. So why is she telling me all of this you ask?”
“No.” I answered. “I think I know why.”
“My sister means the world to me and I almost lost her once.” Nicole stated firmly.
“And if I break her heart you will break my legs.” I answered strongly.
“No.” Nicole laughed slightly. “I’ll send Tia Maria over with her cast iron frying pan.” I could tell by the tone of her voice and the look on her face that Nicole was very serious. I also had little doubt that Mrs. Giavanni would not hesitate to chase me around with her well-worn cast iron skillet if I hurt her favorite niece.
“Lucky for me that I am madly in love with your sister and would never do anything to hurt her.” I said firmly hoping to calm her fears and save my hide. “I’m not worried about you, just letting you know how I feel. ” Nicole responded with a reassuring smile. “Stephanie I can see in your eyes every time you look at her just how deeply you love my sister. Don’t let her screw this up. I know she seems like a strong woman but truth be told at times she can be an emotional coward.”