We spent the early hours of Sunday morning rolling around in bed. Then it was time to pack. For the first time during our visit we managed to make it downstairs in time for breakfast. We said our goodbyes and after being hugged and kissed by everyone at least twice we drove off. Allison did promise to call so they would know that we arrived home safely. The drive home was very pleasant despite the overwhelming traffic. We talked and laughed. We sang along to the music on the radio. “What happens when we get back to Haven?” I asked nervously at one point.
“Well that depends.” Allison responded dryly.
“On?” I asked with trepidation.
“Have you finished grading your midterms?” Allison asked with a smile.
“Yes.”
“Then I say we unpack the car.” Allison offered in a sultry tone. “I call my parents and let them know we got home in one piece and then we could take advantage of arriving home early.”
“How so?” I teased her as I ran my hand across her thigh.
“Hmm.” Allison moaned. “If you keep doing that we might not make it back to Haven in one piece.” Allison warned me. “What are you worried about?” Allison questioned me thoughtfully.
“That when we get back to reality that things will change.” I confessed.
“They will.” Allison said flatly.
“Oh.” I sighed fearfully.
“In a good way Stephanie.” Allison explained gently. “I am not going to lose you now trust me this time.”
I simply smiled at her response and wished that the roads would suddenly open up. I was more than a little anxious to get home so I could take Allison to bed and make love to her all night long. I never thought I could feel this way about someone. I seemed to need to be with her constantly. I never believed that I could want sex this much. Finally we approached our street. I could feel my excitement growing as we approached the house. All I could think about was making love to Allison. Perhaps that is why I did not take notice of the car parked in front of our house. We pulled into the driveway and I stepped out of the car. Then I saw him. I gasped as I watched him approaching. “What is he doing here?” I thought fearfully.
I looked over at Allison in horror. She seemed to be unfettered by the sight of him. I on the other hand was dumbfounded. Suddenly and irrationally I felt exposed. This was proving to be far too surreal for me. I closed my eyes hoping that his image would simply vanish. When I reopened my eyes he was still there coming closer and closer.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Peter what are you doing here?” I asked in a frightened tone. His face dropped at my question and his eyes began to tear up slightly. “Well I …” He began and then stopped when he looked over at Allison. I was irked by his expression. He looked at her as if she was the one who was intruding.
“I’ll take our bags in.” Allison offered calmly. “I need to call my parents and let them know that we got home.” She grabbed our bags and started to walk away. She approached me and for a brief moment I was terrified that she might kiss me or show some other sign of affection. Confused by my reaction I just stood there. “Was I suddenly ashamed of her? No! I just did not want Peter to find out this way. I had hurt him enough.”
“It’s all right.” Allison whispered to me tenderly. “I’ll be waiting for you upstairs.” She waved to Peter and went into the house.
“Peter?” I called to him as I felt myself becoming more and more uneasy about the situation. “Why are you here?”
“This is going to sound silly.” He began softly. “I drove up here on Thursday.”
“Thursday?” I gasped. “What have you been doing all of this time?”
“I got a room in town.” He explained sheepishly. “At first I came here because I thought that you might be lying about having plans for the holiday. Then when I arrived and found you weren’t home I was embarrassed. I had already told my parents that we could not make it down for Thanksgiving. I simply had nowhere to go. I drove over here every day hoping to find you.”
“Peter …” I started to say as my heart was breaking for him.
“Don’t say anything Stephanie.” He said sadly. “I feel like a fool.”
We went inside to the warmth of my apartment. I felt sorry for him as I watched him slump down onto my futon. I went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. I wondered if he had now figured things out when he saw Allison and I together. As I watch the coffee drip into the glass pot I could hear Allison’s footsteps above me. By the sounds I could tell exactly which room she was in and what she was doing. I knew when she put our bags onto her sofa. Funny how I didn’t question that she took my belongings to her apartment. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. I knew when Allison was talking on the telephone. As I watched the coffee maker sputter out its last hiss I listened as Allison began to pace around her living room. I filled two cups of coffee and rejoined Peter. I told him to take off his coat, which he did reluctantly. I sipped my coffee as he stared into his cup.
I silently prayed that he would just say something so we could get this over with and I could go upstairs to be with my lover. A part of me felt guilty for thinking this and another part of me was angry with him for intruding. I had no idea which part of me would win out. “I must look like a total idiot.” Peter said finally.
“No.” I responded hoping in small way I was comforting him. I was torn trying between helping my best friend and listening to the sounds of my lover pacing frantically above us.
“You know I told myself that I was coming here so you wouldn’t be alone.” Peter said absently. “Truth is it was because I wanted to see you. I also I did not want to face my family. I wasn’t comfortable knowing that when I arrived without you I would have to tell everyone all at once that you left me. When I came here and you were gone I felt like everything had just slipped away. Of course I assumed that you were with him.”
“Him?” I asked in puzzlement realizing how quickly that option was no longer one that I considered.
“The guy the one you met when you first came to Haven.” Peter explained. “I was relieved when I saw you with Allison.” He smiled slightly as he said this.
He was clueless. Now this was one of the moments that I seemed to be facing a great deal lately. Everyone faces them. It’s a small life changing choice. I was offered the perfect opportunity to tell him everything. He had most certainly opened the door for me. No matter how much more this was going to hurt him this time I would not remain silent. “Peter there is no he.” I began carefully.
“I knew it.” He sobbed as he slumped back looking like he had just gone ten rounds with a prizefighter and lost.
I took a deep breath as I took in his disheveled appearance and I braced myself for one of the hardest things I would ever do. Then Peter did something I was completely unprepared for. He started to cry. I held him as he sobbed for over an hour as I whispered I’m sorry to him. Finally he collected himself and left with a promise that we would not lose touch with each other. I felt a pang of guilt as I watched him drive off. I hoped that I had made the right decision by not being completely honest with him.
By the sounds I could hear from Allison’s apartment she too had watched Peter drive off. I stopped and listened to her footsteps as I locked up my apartment. She went from the living room directly into her bedroom. I climbed the staircase fearful that Allison would run away from me once again. I went to knock as I approached her door but I stopped and tried the doorknob first. I breathed a sigh of relief as it opened. I walked in and closed and locked the front door behind me. With each step I took as I approached her bedroom I prayed that my presence would be welcomed.