"Sue's mom? Wow, Doc, she's real cool. I'd have loved to've made out with her long ago, but with the sheriff and all – you know how it was. God, yes, she's a lot of woman." Paul was really hot to trot in this new direction.
I thought this was as good a time as any to make my announcement, so I got the attention of the group, and after a few minutes of last-gasp pawings and nibblings and strokings, I gave them the drawings.
"Folks," I said, "the time has come for me to move on. I'm closing my office here tonight, and I already have offices rented and outfitted in another town, in fact, in another state. No one here in Somerset will ever find me, unless by some far-out coincidence you happen to move where I am. And that's a very slim chance, because I've arranged it that way. We have had a pleasant, no, a truly wonderful interlude here. The town, and especially its charming and beautiful girls, has been the nicest experience of my life. I knew when I came here that there was no possibility of my remaining permanently.
"However," I went on, "you have all been good to me, and I am positive that my stay here has helped you all in many ways – emotionally, physically, and mentally. Quite possibly you'll come to appreciate it even more over the years. Remember the lessons you've learned and shared. Pass them on to the next pupil. For God's sake, or rather for your own sakes, get rid of any and all inhibitions and repressions you might have, don't acquire any new ones, and you sure as hell shouldn't pass any on to your kids. The world will mess them up enough. You folks do all you can to prevent it.
"One further thing I wanted to touch on," I continued. "I think that Betty here should probably be elected captain or queen or whatever you call it, to represent and recruit and screen any future female applicants. Tony can handle the young boys, and Alice knows most of the women in town. I suggest that Sheriff Jim Fieser select the men, for several reasons. And it would sure as hell pay all of you to see that Jim and Judge Stone are re-elected term after term if you want good protection. They'll keep it out of the limelight, I'm sure.
"In fact, Jim, if you'll come with me – you and Agnes and Sue and Paul – I want to talk to you a moment. Now are there any questions that any of the rest of you have?" I asked.
I settled the babble that erupted, sorted out and replied to the more sensible and important queries, and accepted their effusive thanks and well wishes. I left the crowd to their horizontal occupations and retired to my private office with the Fieser family and Paul.
The best way to face a strange issue is openly, even abruptly, so I dropped my bomb on the quartet.
"Sue, you and Paul should get married as soon as possible," I had to shush the hubbub that ensued. "Listen, I generally have good and valid reasons for my remarks, don't I? O.K., the purpose of that would be to let the young honeymooners move in with you and Agnes, Jim. That's a natural move, when a young couple is having a hard time financially at the start, so no one will think anything about it.
"Then," I went on, "and this is the crux of the matter, Jim and Sue will set up their own love life, and Paul and Agnes can share the same bedroom. Now don't give me stunned looks. We all know you two adults haven't had any kind of sex life in years, and frankly, never will again. But you both like and respect each other, I know that. Agnes is a good housekeeper and mother, Jim, you've got to admit. And Jim is a good provider, Agnes, and truly devoted to your charming daughter, and you have security and protection, so there's no sense at all in having a divorce and a scandal when itcan all be handled so conveniently for all concerned.
"Five or ten years from now," I continued, "possibly other arrangements will have to be made. People change, and no one can predict the future, but for the immediate and foreseeable few years, this setup could be ideal for all four of you. Paul is just eighteen, and you can give your consent for Susan, so they can be married right away. I know damn well the town gossips will start counting the months, figuring they had to get married, so for God's sake, stay on the pill, both you gals, and in public, play it straight. Well, that's about it, folks."
I could see them mulling it over in their minds, but I also noticed that Agnes' hand crept into Paul's, and they exchanged shy smiles. Jim put his arm around Susan and then drew her willing, supple body closer to him. Then they all apparently arrived at the same conclusion that I had, and we all shook hands. They filed out, and I remained to reluctantly start closing out my books.