“I’m sorry” is all I can say. I sit and I stare at him, but he has nothing nice to say in response. And I fear I don’t deserve nice anyway. No matter how hard I try to get my shit together, I continue to fall flat on my fucking face.
“Fuck you, bitch.” I deserve it. It shouldn’t hurt because he is nobody to me. Just another guy in my never ending chain of hookups. But it does hurt. It stings, like when I fuck up with Seven and she lashes out at me. It stings like the hurt of my childhood. It actually caused an emotional ping in my normally numb body. And I hate every minute of it. I only wish I knew why he was so deep under my skin in no time flat.
CHAPTER 6
The rest of my day goes as planned. I sit on the steps of an old abandoned hippie shop on Main Street and paint. My mind races, thinking about everything impacting my life right now, which normally would send me into some kind of anxiety attack, or searching high and low for my next fix, but instead, it’s freeing. I can already tell that painting is going to be the best substitute for therapy ever.
Later, after I’ve freshly showered, I slip into a floor length black Maxi dress, and pull a pink cardigan over myself to protect me from the cold October evening. My phone vibrates on the nightstand; Seven is front and center on the screen again. Twice in one day isn’t typical for her. Especially recently. After everything went down, we’ve been trying to distance ourselves from each other. I give her the space she needs because I know I am the one who fucked up. It’s something I have learned to live with daily. She is helping me with finding Willow, but other than that, our relationship has significantly cooled off. Which I think is probably better off in the long run.
“Hello?” I hit the speaker button and continue moving around the small room, brushing my hair and getting ready to head out to Maggie’s for dinner shortly.
“Star, you saw my mother today?”
Ugh, I really should have at least sent her a text about it. It just slipped my mind after everything with Chrome happened.
“Yeah, she was working at this little art store downtown. She was acting all sketchy.” What else is new from her? Seven’s quiet on the other end of the line for far too long.
“She called me today. She wants me to come up next weekend. Something about some family news she has.”
Interesting, for sure. Over the years, family news sessions have always centered around some kind of a scandal, or someone being in serious fucking trouble. We rarely got in trouble as kids, but when we actually did, it was bad. I still firmly believe every fucked up thing we did or caused was their own damn fault, though. Never watching us. Never paying attention to us. Never caring what the fuck we were doing. That isn’t what parents are supposed to do.
“What did you say?”
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want Seven to come and visit. I miss her. It has only been a couple days, but it’s been a couple days too long. Even though it is the worst idea ever.
“I’ll be there next Friday. Just poke around and see if you can find anything out. I know you don’t want anything to do with them, but…” Her voice trails off.
“I owe you,” I cut her off before she can say anything else. If I was being completely honest, I owe her my entire life. There’s no way I would be alive today if it wasn’t for her bailing me out so many times over the years.
“I’m heading out for dinner, I will give you a call tomorrow.” I end the call, picking up my purse and heading for the door. I told River I would meet him at Maggie’s tonight, and if I don’t get out of here now, I am going to be late.
I lock the door and turn for my car when I notice a parking lot full of motorcycles. I am sure Chrome’s is part of the pack, but I won’t be sticking around to find out. The sooner I get out of here, the better.
I sit down at the table and order a glass of water. I learned my diner soda lesson last night. Never. Again. I look over the menu trying to pick out what tickles my fancy for the night while I wait for River. I pick up my phone and text my little sister, Journey; while I’m in Woodstock, I do want to see her. Out of all my family members, she is the one I worry about the most, because she never wanted to leave our parents like Paisley and I did once we had the chance.
I’m in Woodstock, kiddo.
I sit and wait for her reply; it isn’t long before my phone chimes. I can feel the excitement radiating from her reply before I even pick up the phone.
SQUEEE! When can I see you?!!??!!?!?
Journey is the youngest of the Bloom children. Three girls. I’m the oldest, Paisley is twenty five now, and Journey is the baby at nineteen. When I left, I worried about how she would fare without me protecting her from everyone and everything, like no one ever did for me. I worried about someone like Blue, or Blue himself, fucking her up for life.
Come by the motel tonight. I am in room 101 right next to the office. I will text you when I am back from eating.
Just as I look up from my phone, I see River walking through the door of Maggie’s. A petite little girl with big green eyes and dark brown hair stands next to him. She is the spitting image of River. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was his daughter, because they look that much alike. She skips down the aisle behind him, holding onto her American Girl Doll with one hand and toting a Strawberry Shortcake backpack on her shoulders. She is absolutely beautiful.
“Sorry we’re a couple minutes late,” River offers in apology. Scarlett slips into the booth and he follows.
“It isn’t a big deal at all,” I wave him off. I smile at Scarlett, who is quietly investigating me across the table. I extend my hand to her.
“Hi, I’m Star. And you must be Scarlett. I’ve heard a lot about you from your brother.” I smile in his direction, and it seems like the girl starts to relax just a little bit. She smiles at me, while she puts her doll down on the bench seat next to her.
My attention shifts when I hear the bell, and there he stands. Chrome. Why the fuck is he here? Damn it all to hell!
Scarlett turns to see him, and pushes past River, barreling down the small aisle toward the giant man. He’s huge compared to her; hell, he is fucking huge compared to everyone.
“Daddddddddy!” the girl screeches as she throws herself into his arms. Did she just say Daddy? My body stiffens. Someone lied. Daddy? He’s her father? How? What? Who? The questions flood through my mind and River just sits there, staring at me. I want to punch him. Why would he lie to me about his little sister, too? What fucking game are they all playing?
Chrome and Scarlett walk back to the table. Scarlett climbs back into the booth next to River, and Chrome turns to me, and smiles.
“This seat taken?” He hints at the seat right next to me. I don’t want him to sit down here, but I’m not about to make a scene in front of this little girl. That would just be wrong. I may not have a lot of morals, but I can act like a fucking decent human being sometimes.
“Of course not. Have a seat, Daddy.” I can’t help myself. His large body squeezes into the booth next to me, and he squeezes my upper thigh under the table. He leans in close, whispering,“We’ll talk after dinner.”
Hesitation is clear on his face. He doesn’t want to tell me, but I am already in too deep with this little family.
My phone buzzes with a text from Journey.