“Someone sounds fucking chipper.” Seven is miserable. She has been for days. Ever since she started battling that nasty food poisoning over the weekend. I feel bad for her, because I have totally been there.
“I am. What crawled up your ass and died?” I want to laugh, but I know it would only make her feel way worse than she already does. No need to add insult to injury, that’s for sure.
“A fucking fetus.”
“What did you just say? I want to make sure I heard you correctly.”
I stop the car and throw it in park. I turn the volume up and listen carefully. Seven is silent on the other end of the phone. Like she doesn’t want to repeat what she just said.
“I’m pregnant.”
And the world slips out from under me.
“Please tell me it is Levi’s.”
Is that all I can fucking come up with? This isn’t an episode of Maury; I really should be a supportive friend, but I am literally in shock.
“Of course it is fucking Levi’s, Star! God!” Her voice is getting louder and louder through the phone line. I want to laugh, but I don’t.
“So this means you aren’t coming up here this weekend, huh?”
I’m sad because I really wanted to see her. I am disappointed because I didn’t want to face our families without her. She is the strong one in the equation. I don’t want to face this without her. These bullshit family meetings are few and far between, but they always mimic a cage match. I don’t want to go, but I will, because I’m a dumb fuck who just loves to take shit from the people who created me.
“Nope. I just can’t be in the car that long right now. I am throwing up shit I don’t even remember eating. This is a fucking nightmare come true.” She never wanted kids, and I can only wonder how long it will be before she’s front and center at the abortion clinic. I want to ask, but I’m sure it is a touchy subject. She has to work this one out on her own. If she wants to talk about it, she will.
“I hope you start to feel better soon, Seven. You need me to come back to the city?” I feel useless just sitting here waiting for Davis to call with more information on Willow. I’m wasting time.
“You stay there and do whatever you’re doing. It is good for you; it’s what you need right now.” She’s right. If I went back to the city now, I’m sure I would get myself in trouble. There is just too much temptation to be able to stay clean and sober. Out here, I can crave a bump all I want. Because I can’t find any. It is the best way for me to stay clean until the cravings start to finally subside.
“Well, if you need anything, you better call me.”
I can hear her gagging on the other end of the line. She mumbles something about going and the line goes dead. I feel for her, because I was there once. My hand rubs my empty stomach, and I frown. My mood is almost ruined when I realize how long it has been since Davis made contact. That probably means nothing but more bad news. They always say no news is good news, but in a situation like this, I just don’t buy it.
“Well, ain’t that some shit,” Journey pipes up from the passenger seat. I completely forgot she was there for the entire conversation. I pray she doesn’t run and tell Seven’s damn parents, since they are all one big happy fucking family.
“Don’t you repeat a word you just heard. That was private, Journey. If she knew you were with me, she wouldn’t have said anything.” I try to be as stern as I can, but it comes out ridiculous.
“I won’t. Don’t worry. God. I totally don’t wanna go to Maggie’s for lunch, either. Wanna go for a drive to this little lunch place I found? Your treat, of course!”
I can’t help but laugh. Of course, my treat. I don’t think this girl has worked a day in her life. I could use something besides Maggie’s, too, because if we are being honest, diner food really isn’t cutting it much anymore.
“I wanna stop at the motel and grab a sweatshirt on the way. I thought I had one in the backseat.” I’m fucking freezing. I always forget how cold it is this time of year.
I slow the car to make the turn into the normally quiet parking lot when I see someone standing at the door to my room. The person is familiar, and there aren’t any cars in the parking lot. I continue driving, completely missing the turn. Journey looks at me funny, but doesn’t say anything. I try to keep my eyes on the road, and watch the door of the room but safety wins out.
“Isn’t that Blue?” Journey asks, as the man turns to the side, looking around. I can tell from his profile it is him, clearly looking for me. I haven’t seen him since the night he beat the shit out of me. My body starts to break out into a cold sweat, and I know there is no fucking way I can go back to the tiny room I have been living in for the past week. He knows where to find me now, and I have to go back into hiding.
Will I ever fucking be able to feel safe again with him around? Maybe coming back to Woodstock wasn’t the best idea. Or maybe he is just here because of this godforsaken family meeting. I will avoid him like the fucking plague until all is clear Friday, and just pray he leaves town.
“What happened with the two of you?”
I know she’s young, and she wants to know how shit really played out. She was maybe eight when I got pregnant and the drama erupted inside my family, but I don’t want to expose her to the nastiness. I shrug my shoulders and try to ignore her. She keeps staring at me, waiting for some kind of reply.
“I was young and stupid. That is what happened.” Young, stupid, hurt, neglected, abandoned, and looking for love in all the wrong places. I often wonder if he would have just let me be as a teenager if I never willingly hooked up with him those couple times. Yeah, he violated me as a child, but it stopped for ages. Maybe I just fell off his radar until I had actual tits. I try not to put very much thought into it.
“Do you ever think about her?” I’m caught off guard again. Maybe hanging out with Journey today wasn’t the best idea.
“All the time. I want to find her,” I admit it without realizing the kind of repercussions this could cause if she tells my parents. I pray she doesn’t, but I know it is a very real possibility.
We pull into the parking lot of the small vegan luncheonette, and when I turn to face her, she is as pale as a ghost.
“I don’t feel so hot. Do you think you could bring me back to my car? I don’t wanna eat lunch now.” This chick better not chuck in my new damn car, that’s all I know. I head for the motel parking lot. I pray Blue is gone once I get back to drop her off. I’m sure he isn’t just going to hang out there all day, as much as he wants to get to me.
Thankfully, when we pull in, he’s nowhere in sight. I park the car and wish my baby sister well. I’d like to know what sparked her sudden ailment; I feel bad that we couldn’t spend more quality time together. I had really looked forward to catching up over lunch.
“I will see you on Friday, Star.”
I have to give her space, because I know she is very much like me. She’ll bolt and no one will see her for days. I don’t want to be the cause of that, even though I apparently am somehow. I just don’t understand how talking about Willow could bring this all to the surface. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.
I push open the office door, where River is standing behind the counter looking bored as hell. Nothing new. When he notices me, he puffs his chest up trying to look like his bad ass brother, but failing pretty miserably. Clearly he got the sensitive genes in the family.
“Some guy was here looking for you.”
“I need your help. I can’t stay here tonight. Not until your brother is back in town.”
I go through the motions and fill him in on bits and pieces of my history with Blue. Nothing over the top, besides the beating he gave me not too long ago. I knew it was only a matter of time before he came looking for me again. This time I won’t let him have what he wants. No means no this time; I don’t care who he is. Or how bad of a fucking beating I will end up with.