“Yeah, that is exactly what they did. All these years. They finally gave up their facade when I rolled into town with the mission of finding her. Journey has been in on it for years. I don’t think I am ever going to be able to get over what she did to me. I expected it from them, but her? Not one bit.”
I use Seven as my own personal therapist, but I also know that, once the dust settles, I am going to start seeing someone professionally. I need to, not just for me to move on with everything in my life, but so I can be a good mother to this little girl who depends on me now.
“I wanted to talk to you about some things, Star.” I’ve never liked the sound of that. Anytime she starts to get serious, I freak out. I know I have done her wrong so many times, but I just want to put it in our past.
“Paisley is here. In Manhattan.” I don’t even know what to say. Just a few days ago, she was in her little love nest in Daytona Beach and now she’s with Seven in Manhattan of all places? Something isn’t right.
“Is she okay?”
I worry about her. More than I probably should. She is a big girl. God, I can’t even begin to think about all the shit I was getting into at her age, but the fact that I am the oldest is what always reminds me that I should be their protector.
“She has a couple bumps and bruises. She hasn’t been too open about what happened, but I am taking good care of her. I think she is going to stay here with me for a while. Since you won’t be back in the city anytime soon. Don’t worry, though. I will keep an eye on her. Whatever trouble she got in won’t touch her here. I promise you that.” Even though it was always Seven and Star, she loved my sisters just as much as I did.
“Hey, Seven, how do you feel about coming up here for Christmas? I know we haven’t talked in a couple days, but I bought that old rental cabin. You know, the huge one on the outskirts?” Of course she knows, because we would both daydream about a happily ever after there.
“If that’s what you want, Star; I will make sure that Levi, Paisley, and I come up for Christmas. If our parents are really moving on, I have no problem being in Woodstock.” Her words warm my heart, and I can’t wait to decorate my first real house and try to make this Christmas the best one yet. I feel like a little kid, anxious for Santa Claus to come.
We say our goodbyes and I set out to cook a meal. I know guys. I am probably going to burn Chrome’s house down, but I have to learn how to cook. I can’t live on food from Maggie’s every night. Not by a long shot. I want better for myself, and I want better for my sweet Magnolia.
CHAPTER 12
I think about that old 90’s movie, Newsies. Christian Bale walks through the streets of New York City at the turn of the century singing about having a family, something he has never known.
I’m nervous for my daughter. I worry that I will fail her and not be able to provide her with the family she honestly deserves.
“Wanna talk?” Chrome’s voice distracts me as I fill the oversized metal pot and place it on the stovetop. I grab the box of pasta from the bag on the counter and work on dumping the frozen meatballs into the baking dish for the oven.
“I’d like that.” There is a lot we need to get out in the air. Yesterday, life may have been difficult, but now, the risk of our new relationship is more. I have to weigh the effect this could have on my daughter and her future. I love him, but she is my life.
“I figure Magnolia can share a room with Scarlett until your house is ready.” Sounds logical, as long as Scarlett is feeling better.
“How is Scarlett feeling?” I open the pre-heated oven and nearly burn my arm on the side of it as I slide the baking tray inside.
“She’s better. Star, I think we need to talk about us. Things are changing. Shit has happened, and we need to be on the same page.”
He pulls a chair out at the table and watches me work. I don’t want to look at him because I will completely lose focus on dinner. It has been days since I felt his hands on me, and I am aching for him in so many ways.
“You’re right. I have a lot of questions, about your work, the club, everything. We know so little about each other.” I wash my hands in the large metal sink and turn toward him while I dry them on the blue kitchen towel.
“There are some things I just don’t want part of my private life. The club is one of them. I don’t want you wrapped up in it. I hang out with the guys daily, but I won’t force it on you.” The club. This infamous fucking motorcycle club. I want to know more about it.
“I get it, and if it is something you love, I am fine with it. I just need to know what you do for them?” I guess I just don’t get the logistics of these clubs.
“Some of the shit we do is illegal, and I won’t get you involved in that. I’m the Sergeant at Arms. I keep shit straight. I’m the muscle.” I don’t know if I should just leave it be or pry, but I don’t think I want to know more than this.
“If our girls are going to be around it, I want your word nothing bad will happen to them.” Our girls. The momma bear in me is starting to become possessive over Scarlett, just as much as I want to protect my very own Willow. Willow. It is going to be so strange adjusting to call her something different. A name I didn’t give her. Magnolia Star. After me. I guess I could get used to it.
“Of course I won’t let anything happen to them. I’ve done my best to keep Scarlett away from it since before she was born. It would gut me if anything happened to her, or Magnolia. Star…” He pauses and his hands run over his smooth, bald head. He lets out a deep breath. “I’ve watched Magnolia grow. She’s been friends with Scarlett since they started Kindergarten together years ago. This is a small town.”
I don’t know whether I should be jealous that he’s had this time with my daughter, or pissed off that I was robbed of it. Maybe I should just be happy knowing he can share those memories with me since I wasn’t fortunate enough to be there for them when they happened.
“I’m just glad I will have her back tomorrow.”
Happiness is something that has always been few and far between in my life. Finally, I have the chance to be genuinely happy, and I am going to fucking carpe diem.
“This is Ryker,” Chrome says as he points to a younger guy, maybe mid-twenties, with a short, dark, military style haircut. He is tall, but not nearly as tall as Chrome. “This is Cowboy.” He directs his stare to an older guy with a gray ponytail at the base of his skull. His arms are filled with faded tattoos. “Last, this is Diesel.” The first thing I notice are Diesel’s striking blue eyes. His hair isn’t as short as Ryker’s, but it certainly isn’t long by any means. It’s as light as my natural blonde. He clearly belongs in a fucking movie, riding a motorcycle in some gang.
Meeting a couple of the guys left me reassured that my stereotyping of bikers was pretty fucking inaccurate. For the most part, they’re good guys and helpful as all hell. Tonight, they’re helping paint my house. Never met me once in their lives, but they agreed to help out of simple respect for Chrome. I guess being a biker’s girl has its perks.
“Mom? You sure the hot pink is okay?” Magnolia asks from behind me as we climb up the brand new porch of our home. Seeing all the work that’s gone into the property over the past week makes our currently cramped living situation so damn worth it. The old wooden shingles that lined the house are gone, replaced by light blue siding. The white trim of the windows and shutters reminds me of an old farm house and the porch has been completely replaced. We have to paint it, but it’ll wait until spring.