‘Neighbour?’
‘More or less. Of the family, anyway. How’re you enjoying your new property?’ The year before, Crispus had bought a villa in the Alban Hills not far from Castrimoenium, where our adopted daughter Marilla and her husband Clarus lived. ‘You been down there recently?’
‘Not recently, no. Pressure of work, you understand.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I am, however, giving a select house party at the Winter Festival. My superior in the office and his lady wife have kindly indicated their willingness to be the guests of honour, and I have also prevailed upon several professional acquaintances within the senate to attend. It should be quite a lavish affair.’ Absently, his fingers brushed the stripe on his mantle, and he beamed. ‘Somewhat of a personal triumph, in fact.’
‘Hey, you know, pal’ — I crossed my legs — ‘that is really a coincidence, because we’ll be in Castrimoenium for the festival again this year ourselves. Perilla and me, I mean.’
The beam disappeared. ‘No!’
‘But yes! Long-standing invite. Our daughter and her husband have a baby due around that time, and naturally Perilla wants to be on the spot when it’s born. Me too. First grandchild and all, big occasion.’ All, by the way, perfectly true: according to Clarus — and as a doctor he should know — the kid was due on the first day of the festival itself, and we’d arranged to be there a few days in advance and stay for the duration. ‘Maybe we could drop in on you and your friends. Just to say hello and wish them Happy Festival.’
Crispus was definitely pale now, and licking his lips nervously. ‘Look, Corvinus,’ he said. ‘We had an agreement, right? When we talked last December, you promised that you and that wife of yours wouldn’t come anywhere near me. Particularly when I had company.’
‘Well, that was last December, wasn’t it? Eleven months ago.’ I gave him my best smile. ‘It wouldn’t be polite to ignore you altogether, would it, pal? And I’m sure your guests wouldn’t mind, because after all you and me go way back. They might even be interested to hear a few personal anecdotes in that regard. I’d keep them clean, of course.’ I paused. ‘Reasonably clean, anyway. As clean as possible, certainly. Where and when I could.’
He was staring at me in horror.
‘Corvinus, you bastard! You complete and utter bastard!’
‘Well, we’ll see,’ I said. ‘What with everything else going on, we may not be able to spare the time. In any case, that’s all by the way. I was wondering if you could help me with some information here.’
Pause. Long pause. Eventually, he said suspiciously: ‘What kind of information?’
I uncrossed my legs and gave him another sunny smile. ‘Nothing complicated,’ I said. ‘Just the kind of thing that you do so well, and I really would be most awfully grateful.’ Smarm, smarm. ‘Simple background stuff, on four members of the senate.’ I gave him the names.
‘This is blackmail.’
‘Sure it is. Of the blackest kind. No arguments there.’
‘You promise you’ll come nowhere near my house party?’
‘Absolutely. See it wet, see it dry.’
‘And you’ll stay well clear of me in future?’
‘Come on, pal, be fair, I’m not promising that! One sale for one payment. Call it insurance, if you like. Besides, admit it, you’d miss the little frisson you get sharing some of the dirty little secrets you’ve come across, wouldn’t you? You don’t get much chance any more now you’ve become respectable.’
He didn’t actually smile, but his lips twitched a fraction. Yeah, well, it had to be tough for someone like Crispus to play the establishment game, life decision or not. Sure, he always complained like hell about being held over a barrel, but I had more than a sneaking suspicion that it was largely for appearances’ sake: the truth was he was a born gossip-monger, and the dirtier the linen he could pull out of the basket for display, the better he liked it. His sharp civil servant’s mantle with — now — its purple stripe were just the surface covering for the metaphorical ragged underpants beneath.
‘All right, Corvinus,’ he sighed. ‘Where would you like me to start?’
‘With Longinus. Why was he recalled, do you know?’
‘Because the emperor’s tame fortune teller told him he should be careful of a man called Cassius.’
I blinked. ‘What? You mean that’s all? Longinus was hauled all the way back to Rome just on the word of a fucking fortune teller?’
‘So I’m told.’
‘No proof of any sort of guilt or malfeasance whatsoever? Zero? Zilch?’
‘Not that I’m aware of.’ He shrugged. ‘You asked, Corvinus. That’s your answer. At least, it’s the only one I can provide.’
Jupiter! Gaius had to be out of his tree right enough. Still, it fitted in with what Secundus had told me: we weren’t talking rational here any longer. Which was seriously worrying on all counts.
‘He, uh, wouldn’t’ve been involved in an affair with a Cornelia Sullana at one time, would he?’ I said. ‘Longinus, I mean?’
‘Again, not that I know of. And I think it’s very unlikely.’
Yeah, well; that shot that one right out of the water, anyway: if Crispus went to the lengths of adding it’s very unlikely to not that I know of, then we were in flying pigs territory.
‘OK. Fine. Moving on. Julius Graecinus.’
‘Close friend of Junius Silanus. Refused point-blank the emperor’s request to undertake the prosecution.’
‘Yeah, I knew that. Gaius was seriously pissed off, right?’
‘Caesar — ’ Crispus emphasized the word — ‘was most definitely not pleased, and stayed so. Graecinus, however, is an extremely able man, and the fact that he’s an outsider, Gallic, largely self-made and with no political axes to grind, has made him quite a few friends in the senate. They persuaded the emperor, last year, not to oppose his appointment as praetor.’
‘Uh-huh. So no apology from him personally, then?’
‘No. I’m afraid that Julius Graecinus’ — a sniff — ‘is a man of principle.’
Not a positive phrase, that, in Crispus’s vocabulary; it had the force of ‘complete political no-brain with probable suicidal tendencies’. Which, I supposed, was fair enough, really.
‘How about Anicius Cerialis?’ I said.
‘Frustrated wannabe, with as much flair for politics as a newt. Known in government circles, in as much as he’s known at all, as the Tongue.’
‘Ah … the Tongue? We talking sexual proclivities here?’
‘Oh, no! For completely different reasons. Cerialis has only got as far as he has through gross flattery of the emperor. Emperors, I should say, as I’m including Tiberius. That’s “gross” even by senatorial standards.’ Gods! ‘Mind you, up until recently it’s worked quite well.’
‘So what happened recently?’
‘Gaius-’ He stopped. ‘I’m sorry, Caesar, promised him the suffect consulship for the second half of this year. In the event, the place went to Terentius Culleo, and Cerialis was not a happy bunny.’
Uh-huh; we were definitely seeing a pattern here.
‘Last one,’ I said. ‘Valerius Asiaticus.’
‘Ah.’ Crispus smiled, like a gourmet squaring up to a plate of roast flamingo with larks’ tongue sauce. ‘Asiaticus is rather special.’
‘In what way?’
‘You know his wife Saturnina is Caesar’s ex Lollia Paulina’s sister? And that as a consequence they’re invited to the best parties up at the palace?’ I nodded. ‘It seems that a few months back, Caesar, ah, developed a certain fondness for the lady.’
‘You mean he’s screwing her.’
‘No. He was screwing her, only because she was putting on such a mediocre performance, he gave it up. Caesar has been pointing out this fact loudly to Asiaticus and complaining of his wife’s failings on a regular basis. At the palace dinners, when the couple are both in attendance. Compulsory attendance.’