‘Hi, Messalina,’ I said. ‘Hi, Felix. How’s it going?’
The little guy reclining on the right-hand couch was beaming. ‘Oh, very well done, sir!’ he said. ‘Not a smidgeon of surprise. I told the mistress here you’d’ve worked it all out, but she didn’t believe me.’
Messalina, stretched out demurely on the other couch, gave me a butter-wouldn’t-melt smile, but said nothing.
‘Yeah, well, as far as the lady’s concerned I’m kicking myself, pal,’ I said. ‘Surdinus practically told us in his letter that she was involved. He was never at her wedding, so why would he say he was and that we’d talked, except to bring her name in? And if he and my father weren’t neighbours on Vatican Hill then he and hers definitely were, because that’s where Barbatus had his villa. You … well, there must’ve been a reason why the emperor’ — I glanced at Messalina, who was still smiling at me like a cream-fed cat — ‘the ex-emperor wasn’t taking the real conspirators seriously. He wasn’t a fool, Gaius, whatever else he might’ve been. Just a bit too trusting where his so-called friends and allies were concerned.’
If I’d meant to embarrass the bastard — which I did — then I was disappointed. He shrugged. ‘True, sir. But then he had to go, because he really was becoming impossible. Putting far too many backs up, both for his own good and the good of Rome.’
‘The good of Rome, eh? Uh-huh. I’d been wondering when we’d get to that bit.’ This was my first day out of bed, and I was beginning to feel pretty woozy. I reached for a chair and sat down. ‘So you murdered the guy out of pure patriotic altruism, right? You and the lady here?’
‘Oh, we weren’t alone, Corvinus,’ Messalina said. ‘Far from it, as you well know. And your answer is, of course not. Or not where I’m concerned, at least.’ Her smile broadened. ‘Altruism’s all right in its way, and very useful in other people, but between ourselves it really is just the teensiest bit silly, isn’t it?’
‘So you get to play Livia to Claudius’s Augustus?’ I said.
She giggled. ‘Claudius is no Augustus, darling,’ she said. ‘Not by a long chalk. But yes, of course. That’s the plan. It’s always been the plan, right from the start. Why do you think I married him? And believe me, cousin, that was how it was. I married him, not the other way round, whatever he chooses to think.’
‘Does he know? That you were involved in the conspiracy?’
‘Claudius? My goodness me, no!’ Another giggle. ‘He never even knew it existed, the poor lamb. And in case you’re thinking of telling him yourself, I really wouldn’t advise it. You’re only alive in the first place because Felix here is a complete softie. Do not push your luck.’
‘Yeah, I was wondering about that,’ I said. ‘Taking a bit of a risk there, weren’t you, Felix?’
‘Oh, not really, sir.’ Felix smiled. ‘Or if so then it was a carefully calculated one. Papinius was given strict instructions to draw the line at killing you but put you seriously out of action, and we did have men watching your house to make sure that no message was sent to the emperor. Besides, if you’ll forgive the liberty, I’ve always thought of you as a friend and colleague, and as I told both my former employer and my present one, you are far more interesting alive than dead. Dead without good reason, that is, naturally.’
‘Naturally.’
‘Fortunately, both of them were willing to indulge me. Against, I may say, their better judgment.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Jupiter! Still, gratitude where it was due. ‘Thanks.’
‘Don’t mention it, sir.’
‘In fact, don’t mention any of it, Corvinus.’ Messalina gave me another silky smile. ‘That is really, really important. Remember that minds can be changed, and that not mentioning things is all that’s currently keeping you alive.’
‘Lady, I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of talking about this to anyone, ever,’ I said. I meant it, too; after all, who would I tell? And with Gaius dead, why should I bother? Finished business was right.
‘There’s a clever boy.’ But I could see that both she and Felix had relaxed slightly. ‘Now. That being understood, and in exchange, Felix here says that you’ll have questions that you’ll want answered.’ She sat back against the cushions and folded her hands in her lap like a prim schoolgirl. ‘Carry on, I really don’t mind. Anything you like, ask away.’
‘OK. The most basic one first. Why kill Surdinus?’
‘Oh, you surely don’t need us for that, sir,’ Felix said.
I shrugged. ‘Maybe not. Your pal Cerialis made the mistake of trying to recruit him, right? For the fake conspiracy, along with the other airhead idealists. Surdinus was having none of it, but he drew the line at peaching to Gaius, because as a good Stoic he’d no time for tyrants, and it’d mean that friends of his like Graecinus who were involved were likely to get chopped. That should’ve been the end of it, only he saw something he shouldn’t have seen, or heard something he shouldn’t have heard, that suggested the whole thing was a set-up and his friends were for the chop in any case. Yes?’
‘Not quite, Corvinus.’ Messalina smiled. ‘Surdinus was a loyal member of our group of expendables practically from the start. But your second guess is absolutely right. What he chanced upon — under compromising circumstances — was a meeting between Cerialis and Sosibius.’
‘Sosibius? He exists, then? But …’ I caught myself as the penny dropped. Bugger! ‘He’s a freedman of yours, right?’
‘Well done, sir,’ Felix said. ‘Better late than never. And you can’t complain that I didn’t play a fair game. If you assumed that his given family name came from Asiaticus rather than from the mistress, that was your mistake.’
Hell; I’d forgotten about the devious little bugger’s liking for setting puzzles. And I’d hardly call this business a game of any sort. Still, he was right by his lights; if I’d connected Sosibius with Valerius Asiaticus rather than Valeria Messalina then it was my own stupid fault.
‘Sosibius was my father’s secretary originally,’ Messalina was saying, ‘which explained why Surdinus knew him, because Surdinus and Daddy were close friends. He’s frighteningly clever, the dear, and he always had a soft spot for me, so when I married my first I took him with me and gave him his freedom. Daddy was long dead by then, of course, and when Surdinus walked in on Sosibius’s confab with Cerialis, he couldn’t’ve clapped eyes on him for donkey’s years. Pure bad luck, really. It was just a pity that the man had such a good memory for faces, and of course there was the birthmark.’
‘Would it have mattered all that much?’ I said. ‘That Surdinus had recognized him? After all, there might’ve been a perfectly innocent explanation.’
‘We couldn’t take the risk. Surdinus was obviously suspicious, or beginning to be, and he was a clever man. If the others had begun to suspect Cerialis it would’ve put the whole thing in jeopardy. Besides, when the conspiracy was blown, Sosibius’s name and identity were bound to come out, and even with Felix here looking after our interests that would have been far too dangerous. So of course I had Sosibius kill him.’
Spoken without a smidgeon of emotion; a feather of cold touched the back of my neck.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘That brings me to my only other question. Herennius Capito. Was he part of the real conspiracy?’
‘Oh, yes. Not one of the inner circle, fortunately as it turned out, but it was a shame he had to die. That was completely your fault, by the way.’
‘Me?’
‘Ordinary damage limitation, sir,’ Felix said. ‘According to the original plan, of course, when the decoy conspirators were rounded up I would have ensured, as I did in Asiaticus’s case, that he was quite safe. In the event, since you’d made the connection yourself and made it official, as it were, I had to go through the motions.’