“Hey, hey, hey !” someone shouted close to his ear, and he paid no attention. It was every damned sniping attack he’d ever suffered, and he hit and took hits until he began to red-out and run out of wind, and to lean into the blows as the opposition was leaning into him. Another flurry and they were both out of breath. He took a clumsy roundhouse at Chad and glanced off, and Chad took one at him and he took one at Chad. People were all around them, and when Chad swung at him and halfway connected, somebody got Chad and another got him and pulled them apart.
“I didn’t steal your damn stick!” Chad yelled at him, spitting blood.
“I said shut up!” JR yelled. It occurred to Fletcher that JR had been yelling at him, and JR had hold of him; Bucklin had Chad.
“He started it!” Sue said.
“I’m not damn well interested! Fletcher, straighten the hell up!”
Fletcher wiped his mouth and stretched an arm to recover his shirt onto his shoulder. The hand came away bloody. His right eye was hazed and he couldn’t tell whether it was sweat or blood running into it. Chad was bloody. There were spatters on the walls.
“Fletcher!” Jeremy said “Fletcher, don’t fight anymore.”
“All I said was…” Chad began.
“Shut up !” JR said, and jerked Fletcher back out of reach. “Madelaine wants to see you.”
“I’m not interested.”
“You get the hell up there before she comes down here. Now!”
“I’ll clean up, first.”
“Just go on topside. Right now.”
“Yessir,” he said, because he still believed JR, out of a handful of people he would listen to, and because he hadn’t any other clear direction while the universe was still far and hazed. He blotted at the eye with the back of his hand, sniffed what tasted like blood down his throat, and shot a burning look at Chad before he walked on toward the lift.
Light, quick steps ran behind him, and he spun around.
“Jeremy,” JR said in a forbidding tone, and Fletcher looked at Jeremy through his anger as if he saw an utter stranger—a scared and junior one, one he had no motive to harm, but not one he wanted to touch him at the moment.
Not when he was like this and wanting nothing more than to finish what he’d started.
But the fire was out of the encounter at the moment, and the lift car came to the button and he got in and rode it up to B deck. A startled senior stared at him as he wiped his nose to keep the blood off the carpet and walked into Legal.
Blue, at the desk inside, gave him a startled look, too.
“You want a tissue?” Blue asked pragmatically, and offered one.
“Thanks,” he said, and as pragmatically took it and blotted his nose before he went into Madelaine’s office.
Madelaine just stared at him. Shocked.
He stared back, still mad, but not mad enough to drip on his grandmother’s carpet. He fell into a chair and made careful use of the tissue.
“Have another,” Madelaine said, offering one. “JR?”
“Chad.” His nose bubbled. “We were discussing my missing property.”
“The spirit stick. I heard about it. I’m very sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
“I was dismayed. It’s not like this crew.”
“I’m not a good influence.” He had to blot again. But the flow was less. “I made my try at joining in. It’s no good. I don’t belong here.”
“We don’t know the whole story.”
He didn’t fly off. He took a careful, deep breath. “I do.”
“What happened, then?”
“What, specifically, happened? Chad’s pissed that I exist.”
“Did he say that?” Madelaine asked.
“I don’t think he’s real damn happy at the moment!” He laughed, a bitter, painful laughter. “It’s the same damn thing. You think all everybody on this ship is glad I’m here? Not half. Not half. I told JR I want to go back to Pell.”
“But?”
“I didn’t say but.”
“I heard but. You told JR you wanted to go back to Pell, but…”
He let go a soft, bubbling breath. And blotted a flow down his upper lip. And shook his head, because he thought about Jeremy and his throat acquired an unexpected and painful knot.
The silence went on a moment.
“A but, nonetheless,” Madelaine said “There are people on this ship disposed to love you, Fletcher.”
“Yeah, sure.” She was trying to corner him with the love nonsense. He’d heard it before.
“Is that so common?”
“Not so damn common,” he said harshly. “I’ve heard it. This is your new brother, Fletcher. You’ll be great friends. This is your room, Fletcher, we fixed it just for you. We’re sorry, Fletcher, but this just isn’t working out… ”
He ran out of breath. And composure. And found it again, not quite looking at Madelaine.
“Great intentions. But I’m getting to be a real connoisseur of families. I’ve had a lot of them.”
“We still haven’t gotten to the but.—You wanted to go back to Pell, but—”
“I’ve forgotten.”
“Do you want to go back to Pell?”
He didn’t find a ready answer. “I don’t know what I want. At this point, I don’t know.”
“All right,” she said, and got up. He took it for a dismissal, and he rose.
Madelaine came and put her hand on his arm; and then put her arms around him, and gave him a gentle hug. And sighed and bit her lip when she stood back and looked at him.
“Tell Charlie put a stitch in that or I’ll be down there.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Listen to your grandmother. James Robert wanted to talk with you about the stick… I said let things ride a little, let the juniors try to work it out. We have concerns outside our hull right now, and the captains can’t divert themselves to settle a quarrel. Operations crew can’t. So they leave it to us. And you to me, as the person responsible. Promise me. Peace and quiet. We’ll work it out.”
“I’ll try,” he said.
“Fletcher. We’re going up, third watch. Don’t take anger into jump. Let it go, this side. Let go of it.”
Spooky advisement. He didn’t take it as a platitude.
“All right,” he said. And took his leave, and went out and down the lift again, headed for sickbay, where he wasn’t surprised to find JR, and Chad.
“Wait your turn,” Charlie said.
“Yessir,” he said, and set his jaw and gave Chad only an intermittent angry glance.
It wasn’t patched. Charlie did take the stitch, and it hurt. Charlie said he had to cauterize the bloody nose because it was dangerous to take that condition into jump, and that was even less pleasant. JR simply stood by, watching matters, and when Charlie was done, relieved him to go off-duty and to his quarters the way he’d sent Chad.
“And stay there,” JR said shortly. “I don’t care who’s to blame, both of you stay in quarters until after jump. That ship in front of us is going up, this ship is engaged, and we can’t afford distractions. I don’t think Chad did it. Do you hear me?”
By then the bruises were starting to hurt, and he didn’t argue the question. Charlie had shot him full of painkiller, and it had made the walls remote and hazy. He was having trouble enough tracking what JR was saying, and had no emotional reaction to it. He didn’t even hate Chad anymore. He just thought, with what remained to him of self-preservation, that he was going to have trouble getting through jump, the way he was.
Fact was, when he got down off the table, he missed the door, and JR grabbed him and walked him to his quarters, opened the door, and got him to his bunk.
“Sleep it off,” JR said “We’ll talk about it the other side.”
Jeremy came in. Fletcher didn’t know how long he’d been there, but he pretended he was still sleeping. He heard Jeremy stirring about, and then Jeremy shook his shoulder gently.
“I brought your supper.”
“Don’t want it.”
“Dessert. You better eat. You’ll be sick coming out of jump if you don’t eat, Fletcher. I’ll bring you something else. I’ll bring you anything you want…”