“Harper,” I say. But she’s already closed the door.
I glance down at the envelope in my hand. It suddenly feels too heavy, too hot. Like it’s going to burn right through my palm. Grabbing the corner, I tear it open.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The letter is folded three times. So little stands in the way of my reading what’s inside, but my hands shake as if I’m hanging from the side of a cliff, seconds left until I free-fall to my death.
I don’t have to unfold the snow-white paper to know who it’s from. The blocky letters peeking through tell me everything. There’s only one person in my family who writes like this. Only one person who uses all caps like they’re screaming everything they inscribe. My mom tries to tell him to write like a gentleman.
But my brother never listens.
I unfold the letter and squeeze my eyes closed. A lump forms in my throat. I try to swallow it down, but it’s there to stay. When I manage to open my eyes again, the letters are blurred, swimming on the page like they’re playing a game. I rub the back of my hand across my face and begin reading.
TELLA,
YOU LEFT BECAUSE OF ME. I KNOW YOU DID. MOM AND DAD TRY TO PROTECT ME FROM WHAT’S HAPPENED, BUT I WISH THEY’D STOP. SOMETHING’S GOING ON, AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT. I ONLY KNOW THAT DAD SAID SOMEONE SENT YOU SOMETHING MEAN. THAT IT WAS A PRACTICAL JOKE, AND I SHOULD PRETEND IT WAS ME TO PROTECT YOU. AND NOW YOU’RE GONE.
THE POLICE OFFICER HERE, HE ASKED ME TO WRITE YOU A LETTER. HE SAID YOU RAN AWAY TO TRY AND FIND SOMETHING TO MAKE ME BETTER. BUT THAT’S CRAZY, TELLA. THE DOCTORS SAID THEY COULDN’T HELP. SO JUST COME HOME. OKAY? JUST COME HOME. I KNOW I ALWAYS GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, BUT I’M JUST PLAYING. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
WE’RE ALL WORRIED, TELLY. DAD STAYS UP ALL NIGHT PACING, AND MOM KEEPS REPEATING SOMETHING ABOUT YOU HAVING HER EYES. COME HOME. PLEASE.
— CODY
The letter flutters to the floor as I curl into myself. The knot in my throat unties itself, and I choke on a sob. Madox is on his feet, licking my hands, telling me he’s here. But right now it isn’t enough. I need my brother. My mom. My dad.
I need my family.
I’ve deceived myself. Pretended I was okay here in this jungle without them. But it’s a lie I can’t escape. Tears race down my cheeks and tumble to the floor.
I know why the people working this race delivered these letters.
It’s to prepare us for the next leg of the race. To provide motivation.
Their plan so works.
Having Cody’s words in my head makes everything I’ve done worth it. He loves me. Of course he does, I know that. But he actually said it. My brother and I don’t do that. We tease each other, pull harsh pranks, and take every opportunity to make the other look bad. But deep down …
And he said it.
I despise the people running this race. But I need them, too. Because I have to win. I have to save him.
The door opens and I wonder if Harper is back. When I glance up, I see Guy silhouetted in the doorway, an envelope crumpled in his grasp. My sobs deepen, and I reach toward him. I’ll crumble if he refuses me. If he walks away.
He looks at me for a long time. Even in the dark, his eyes are the same as the first moment I saw him — cold as revenge. I reach toward him again and say his name. He glances away, and his face whispers of torment.
“Don’t —” I say, but it’s no use.
He turns and leaves.
My heart explodes. My bones break. Tears pour from my body until I’m sure there’s nothing left. I pull into myself and clutch the letter to my stomach. My eyes slip closed, and I drown in despair. Madox nudges against my hand, but I don’t lift it. I can’t. He whimpers softly. It’s the last thing I hear as I crash into sleep.
When I wake in the middle of the night, I feel Guy behind me, holding me as if I’m his only path to salvation.
After five more days at the camp, I become restless. The woman from the device said the race would take three months. Harper and I decided this meant two weeks in each ecosystem, and one week of rest in between them. We couldn’t decide what the last week would entail. Then again, this was all guesswork.
The other Contenders seem ready for action, too. It’s like we’ve all spent adequate time sulking over our letters, and now we’re ready to tackle the next obstacle. But the men in collared shirts don’t respond when we ask what’s coming. They just wave us away and keep patrolling the area. I begin to wonder if this isn’t part of a bigger test. To see who breaks under the pressure of idleness.
As time passes, Guy continues to stay nearby. Rarely close — but nearby. Sometimes he’ll grace me with conversation. And on rare moments, a smile. My body aches for him in a way I’ve never known. I feel like an animal, all muscle and hormones and lust. We never mention the kiss, and it does nothing to quench the strange pull between us. It’s odd to feel this way in the heart of the jungle, but I think Guy could probably make me hot in the ninth circle of hell.
I watch as Titus picks on a kid half his age. I’m tired of seeing him bully his way into a position of authority among the Contenders. And I decide since I have nothing else to preoccupy myself with, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.
Dusting myself off, I head toward him. He’s holding the boy around the neck, and I mentally tell the kid to go for the crotch. That’d be my tactic. In fact, it will be my tactic. I’m only a few feet away when Caroline steps in front of me. Dink is hanging on her waist, and she’s holding her device out so I can see.
It’s blinking.
My teeth snap together, and I immediately look for Guy. I don’t want to hear the message without him near my side. I’m aware that my feelings for him can’t end well, not with us both here as competitors. But those are long-term thoughts. And right now, staring at the blinking light with my heart pounding against my ribs, I’m only thinking in the now.
“Does everyone know?” I ask Caroline when I don’t spot Guy.
“Not yet.” She places the device into her ear but doesn’t press the button. “It won’t be long, though.”
She’s right. Within minutes, every Contender is putting their device into place. I don’t want to listen without our group together. It feels like if I do, then maybe we aren’t really a group at all. Already, Caroline and Dink stay by themselves, Ransom hides inside the cabins all day, and Guy and I move quietly through base camp side by side.
And Harper. She’s still being stalked by the gangly blond. He refuses to leave her alone, and for some reason, she doesn’t tell him off. Just continues to ignore him.
I give up hunting the Contenders I’ve become familiar with and put the device into my ear. Caroline wraps her hand around the side of Dink’s face, and nods.
We both push the buttons.
There are a few moments of silence while everyone tunes in, then the woman begins.
“Good afternoon. I’d like to wish everyone well as we close the first chapter of the Brimstone Bleed.”
I curl my hands into fists.
“As you know, Rachelle Gregory won the first leg of the race and chose to return home to be with her family. We, at headquarters, fully support her decision. And now we’d like to offer the remaining Contenders a choice as well.”