I don’t have to see, though. Because I can hear. I can hear the way Nick begs. The way he explains his allegiance and that he never meant to touch me. But his pleas must not douse Titus’s anger. Because the next thing I hear is the gurgling sound Nick makes when his leader pushes him the rest of the way under.
And then I hear nothing.
The guy covering my eyes pulls his hand away. Titus stands near the edge of the quicksand, staring at the ground like he can’t believe what he just did. He glances up at the six of us and tries to offer an explanation. “He touched Tella,” he says, focusing his attention on me. “He grabbed you or something.”
He’s waiting for me to agree. But I don’t. I can’t even see him through the tears.
“He would have hurt you.” He points a limp finger at me. “Probably would’ve forced himself on you. You saw how he treated the Pandoras.”
Titus nods to himself and takes a deep breath, his chest expanding. He tilts his head up and gazes at the sky. Then he peers off to his right. “Would you look at that,” he says, flicking his wrist at something in the distance and grinning wide. “A flag!”
After we leave the quicksand, I lose touch with reality. Thoughts of Levi and Dink and Nick swirl in my head like a demonic merry-go-round. Titus leads us to the flag so he can remove it and tie it around his bicep. It’s everything I can do to keep walking. To will my body forward.
Godzilla walks behind me. Every few minutes, he touches my lower back. I’m not sure why because I’m not thinking clearly. I just know it’s the only thing that reminds me of where I am, and that this is real. And that Titus actually killed one of his own.
Madox keeps close by. He glances up at me, and his ears perk when he thinks I’m going to acknowledge him. But I never do. I can’t even feel the ever-present ache in my muscles anymore. It’s like my entire body has gone numb.
When the night falls and Titus finally stops, all I can think of is one person — Guy. Where he is now. What he’s doing.
If he’s coming for me.
He’s here to save his cousin. So I’m not sure where that leaves us, especially now. Still, I have to believe that what I felt between us is not just circumstantial. That even though he’s here for family, he wouldn’t leave me out here with Titus.
I have to believe.
Titus sends his bear to gather food for dinner, and the guys work on building a fire. Turns out Godzilla used to be a Boy Scout and knows how to do such things. It takes him about eighty-seven tries, but he finally gets a small spark to ignite between his blade, a dark rock, and a handful of mossy foliage.
“Fire!” Titus roars, laughing from deep in his gut.
I have no idea what’s so funny, and I have no idea why these idiots follow him so blindly.
“You know, Tella,” Titus says. “I was never a big fan of fire before Brimstone. I was terrified of it, actually. So wild and unpredictable. But I tell you what, I’ve learned to respect it. Now, water? That’s something I’ve loved all my life. My old man said I was born with fins. Said even when I was a kid, I took to the sea like a shark. Hammerhead, that’s what he called me. ’Cause hammerhead is a type of shark, and he said I wasn’t keen on listening.” He knocks on his head with a closed fist. “Hardheaded, I guess.”
I try to pretend I’m listening. That I care. But it’s hard to keep up a facade when all I want to do is wrap my hands around his throat.
Titus unscrews his canteen and drinks for several seconds. The guys around him take the cue to drink as well. My throat burns thinking about water, but I refuse to ask for my own bottle back.
“Here,” he says, handing me his canteen. “Have a drink. We can save yours for tomorrow.”
I snatch it away like a wild animal and drink until it’s gone. Titus doesn’t stop me.
“See, everyone loves water best. You just have to be reminded why.” A smile plays on his lips, and my insides churn. “Let’s hit the hay, shall we?”
It takes everything I have to nod.
Titus moves closer and sits next to me. The guys stay on the other side of the crackling fire, far away from us. I steal a glance at Godzilla — who I’ve learned is named Braun — and the overgrown pink pig at his side. I’d assumed the Pandora was one they stole from another Contender, but I was mistaken. Because Braun keeps an eye on that pig like I do Madox. It’s a funny sight, seeing a guy as large as Braun worried about a pig. Though it feels unnatural, I smile with one side of my mouth — and Braun smiles back.
“What are you smiling about?” Titus asks. I turn my head, and my smile drowns. He’s watching me the way Guy does. With questions lingering on his lips. But unlike Guy, he isn’t afraid to ask them. “Do you like the fire?”
I nod and run my hands over Madox, who’s curled in my lap. Now that he’s near me, I feel better. Though most of that security is canceled out with Titus so close. Looking at my small fox, I wonder why he hasn’t done anything to get me away from Titus. I reason it’s probably because the guy doesn’t intend to harm me, that he only wants me to join them.
“Why do you want me to join your group?” I ask suddenly.
Titus tilts his head back, like he’s surprised I asked. “It’s hardly a group after today,” he says, laughing. “We’re down to seven, counting you.”
My face must show my revulsion, because he coughs into his hand and says, “Bad joke.”
I’m surprised that Titus is aware that what he did was wrong. It’s like he’s two different people: one who’s rational and intelligent, and another who reacts on raw emotion without thinking.
Looking at him now, I wonder if he knows about the Brimstone Bleed the way Guy does. I consider asking him. But, no, I decide. I don’t think he does, and I won’t risk revealing what I do know, which is really just bits and pieces of a story I don’t understand.
I breathe in and the smoke rolling off the fire fills my nose. For a moment, it brings me home to my parents’ house.
“You remember that night after our Pandoras got into a skirmish?”
I’d hardly call it a skirmish, but I decide to play along and nod.
“You didn’t like the way my Pandora ate or something.” He smiles at me like we’ve been married for ten years and he’s recalling our first kiss. “You really went off about it. You got in my face and just went crazy. And as I was watching you get so upset about everything, I said to myself, There’s a girl that’s got fire. With that Pandora of hers, she just might win this thing.” Titus licks his thumb and rubs a blotch of dried quicksand off his boot.
“When I saw your fox fight and change like he does, I thought he might be the best Pandora out there. But I figured you wouldn’t be strong enough to survive the race even with a creature like that. Then I saw you that night, though, rage and fear in your eyes and this little feather in your hair.” He pauses and touches my feather. I try not to cringe. “I knew I had to partner with you. That I had to —” Titus glances at my lips and I realize he’s too close. Way too close. “That I had to be with you.”
He leans in and a million thoughts flood my mind. Things like:
Do I let him kiss me so he believes I’m not a threat?
Do I slap his face and drag my nails across his cheek?
Would his lips feel like Guy’s?
Guy.
“Hey, Titus.” I hear someone say. Titus swears loudly and shoots a death stare at the speaker — Braun. “Just wanted to let you know AK-7 is back with dinner.”
Titus sighs heavily and rolls his wrist. “Well, then, bring that fat bear over here.”