He lifted her up to give her a proper hug. He smelled like home, like the northern autumn rains.
She went for a walk with Archer around the palace grounds. The trees were blazing with autumn colour. Fire was astonished now, and thrilled, with the tree beside the green house, because in recent days it had transformed into the closest natural thing she'd ever seen to her hair.
Archer told her how bleak the north was in comparison. He told her about Brocker's activities, and the year's good harvest, and his passage south with ten soldiers through the rain. "I've brought your favourite musician," Archer said, "and he's brought his whistle."
"Krell," Fire said, smiling. "Thank you, Archer."
"This guard on our heels is all very well," Archer said, "but when can we be alone?"
"I'm never alone. I always have a guard, even in my bedchamber. "
"Surely that can change now I'm here. Why don't you tell them to go away?"
"They're under Brigan's orders, not mine," Fire said lightly. "And as it turns out, he's quite stubborn. I haven't been able to change his mind about it."
"Well," Archer said, smirking, "I will change his mind. I daresay he understands our need of privacy. And his authority over you must lessen now that I'm here."
Of course, Fire thought, and Archer's own authority must rise up to replace it. Her temper flared out; she caught at the ends of it and hauled it back in. "There's something I must tell you, Archer, and you're not going to like it."
His entire manner changed instantly, mouth hard, eyes flashing, and Fire was amazed at how fast their reunion had turned to this. She stopped and stared at him in exasperation, spoke over him to stop him. "Archer, stay within your rights. Don't you dare start accusing me of taking some man to my bed."
"A woman, then? It wouldn't be entirely without precedent, would it?"
She clenched her fists so hard her nails hurt the palms of her hands; and suddenly she was no longer concerned with holding on to the ends of her fury. "I was so excited for you to come," she said. "I was so happy to see you. And now already you've started in on me, and I wish you would leave. You understand me, Archer? When you get like this I wish you would leave. The love I give you, you take, and you use it against me."
She swung away from him, strode away, came back again and stood furious before him, aware that this was the first time she'd ever spoken to him this way. She should have spoken like this more. She'd been too generous with her patience.
We're not lovers anymore, she thought at him. This is the thing I needed to tell you. The closer you get to me the harder you pull, and your grip is too tight. You hurt me with it. You love me so much you've forgotten how to be my friend. I miss my friend, she thought at him fiercely. I love my friend. We're through as lovers. Do you understand?
Archer stood dazed, breathing heavily, eyes stony. Fire could see that he did understand.
And now Fire saw Hanna, and sensed her at the same time, coming over the hill at the archery range and bolting toward them with all her small speed.
Fire began a battle for her composure. "There's a child coming," she told Archer hoarsely, "and if you take your vile mood out on her I won't speak to you again."
"Who is she?"
"Brigan's daughter."
Archer stared at Fire very hard.
And then Hanna reached them, Blotchy careening close behind. Fire knelt to meet the dog. Hanna stopped before them, smiling and gasping, and Fire sensed her sudden confusion as she took in their silence. "What's wrong, Lady Fire?" Hanna asked.
"Nothing, Lady Princess. I'm happy to see you and Blotchy."
Hanna laughed. "He's getting your dress muddy."
Yes, Blotchy was destroying her dress, and practically bowling her over as he bounced in and out of her lap, for in his mind he was still a puppy, even though his body had grown. "Blotchy is much more important than my dress," Fire said, taking the wriggling dog in her arms, wanting his muddy joy.
Hanna came close and whispered in her ear. "Is that angry man Lord Archer?"
"Yes, and he is not angry with you."
"Do you think he would shoot for me?"
"Shoot for you?"
"Papa says he's the best in the kingdom. I want to see."
Fire couldn't have explained why this made her so sad, that Archer should be the best in the kingdom, and Hanna should want to see. She burrowed her face for a moment against Blotchy. "Lord Archer, Princess Hanna would like to see you shoot, for she's heard you're the best in all the Dells."
Archer was hiding his feelings from her mind, but Fire knew how to read his face. She knew how his eyes looked when he was blinking back tears, and the muted voice he used when he was too miserable for anger. He cleared his throat now, and spoke in that voice. "And what kind of bow do you favour, Lady Princess?"
"A longbow, like the one you carry, only yours is much bigger. Will you come? I'll show you."
Archer didn't look at Fire. He turned and followed Hanna up the hill, Blotchy bounding after them. Fire stood, and watched them go.
Quite unexpectedly, Musa took her arm. Fire placed her hand on Musa's, grateful to be touched, fiercely glad to think that her guard might be overpaid.
It was a very hard thing to have crushed the heart, and the hopes, of a friend.
After dark, unable to sleep, she went to the roofs. Eventually Brigan came wandering by and joined her. Now and then, since their conversation in the stables, he opened a flash of feeling to her. Tonight she could tell he was surprised to see her.
Fire knew why he was surprised. After her quarrel with Archer, Musa had told her, matter-of-factly, that at Fire's request Fire actually was permitted to be alone with Archer; that in the very beginning, in his instructions, Brigan had made an exception for Archer, as long as the grounds outside the windows were guarded and guards stood outside every door. She should have informed the lady of this before, Musa said, but she hadn't expected Lord Archer so soon. And once Fire and Archer had begun to argue, she hadn't wanted to interrupt.
Fire's face had burned at this knowledge. And here was why Brigan had defended Archer in Garan's bedroom earlier: he'd seen Garan's jibe as an offense to Fire, believed, even, that Fire was in love with Archer.
Fire told Musa, "The exception is not necessary."
"Yes, I got that sense," Musa said. Then Mila brought Fire a cup of wine in the timid, comprehending way Mila had. The wine was a comfort. Fire's head had begun to ache, and she recognised the onset of her pre-bleeding time.
Now, on the roof, Fire was silent. She said nothing, not even when Brigan greeted her. He seemed to accept her silence and was rather quiet himself, filling the space occasionally with the gentle patter of his conversation. He told her that Hanna was bedazzled by Archer, that they'd shot so many arrows together she had blisters between her fingers.
Fire was thinking about Archer's fear. She thought it was Archer's fear that made his love so hard to bear. Archer was controlling and imperious, and jealous and suspicious, and Archer always held her too near. Because he was afraid of her dying.
She broke a long silence with her first words of the night, spoken so quietly he moved closer to hear. "How long do you think you'll live?"
His breath was a surprised laugh. "Truly, I don't know. Many mornings I wake knowing I might die that day." He paused. "Why? What's on your mind tonight, Lady?"
Fire said, "It's likely one of these days a raptor monster will get me, or some arrow will find its way past my guard. It doesn't seem to me a morbid thought; only realistic."