"Nothing, Lady Princess. I'm happy to see you and Blotchy."
Hanna laughed. "He's getting your dress muddy."
Yes, Blotchy was destroying her dress, and practically bowling her over as he bounced in and out of her lap, for in his mind he was still a puppy, even though his body had grown. "Blotchy is much more important than my dress," Fire said, taking the wriggling dog in her arms, wanting his muddy joy.
Hanna came close and whispered in her ear. "Is that angry man Lord Archer?"
"Yes, and he is not angry with you."
"Do you think he would shoot for me?"
"Shoot for you?"
"Papa says he's the best in the kingdom. I want to see."
Fire couldn't have explained why this made her so sad, that Archer should be the best in the kingdom, and Hanna should want to see. She burrowed her face for a moment against Blotchy. "Lord Archer, Princess Hanna would like to see you shoot, for she's heard you're the best in all the Dells."
Archer was hiding his feelings from her mind, but Fire knew how to read his face. She knew how his eyes looked when he was blinking back tears, and the muted voice he used when he was too miserable for anger. He cleared his throat now, and spoke in that voice. "And what kind of bow do you favour, Lady Princess?"
"A longbow, like the one you carry, only yours is much bigger. Will you come? I'll show you."
Archer didn't look at Fire. He turned and followed Hanna up the hill, Blotchy bounding after them. Fire stood, and watched them go.
Quite unexpectedly, Musa took her arm. Fire placed her hand on Musa's, grateful to be touched, fiercely glad to think that her guard might be overpaid.
It was a very hard thing to have crushed the heart, and the hopes, of a friend.
After dark, unable to sleep, she went to the roofs. Eventually Brigan came wandering by and joined her. Now and then, since their conversation in the stables, he opened a flash of feeling to her. Tonight she could tell he was surprised to see her.
Fire knew why he was surprised. After her quarrel with Archer, Musa had told her, matter-of-factly, that at Fire's request Fire actually was permitted to be alone with Archer; that in the very beginning, in his instructions, Brigan had made an exception for Archer, as long as the grounds outside the windows were guarded and guards stood outside every door. She should have informed the lady of this before, Musa said, but she hadn't expected Lord Archer so soon. And once Fire and Archer had begun to argue, she hadn't wanted to interrupt.
Fire's face had burned at this knowledge. And here was why Brigan had defended Archer in Garan's bedroom earlier: he'd seen Garan's jibe as an offense to Fire, believed, even, that Fire was in love with Archer.
Fire told Musa, "The exception is not necessary."
"Yes, I got that sense," Musa said. Then Mila brought Fire a cup of wine in the timid, comprehending way Mila had. The wine was a comfort. Fire's head had begun to ache, and she recognised the onset of her pre-bleeding time.
Now, on the roof, Fire was silent. She said nothing, not even when Brigan greeted her. He seemed to accept her silence and was rather quiet himself, filling the space occasionally with the gentle patter of his conversation. He told her that Hanna was bedazzled by Archer, that they'd shot so many arrows together she had blisters between her fingers.
Fire was thinking about Archer's fear. She thought it was Archer's fear that made his love so hard to bear. Archer was controlling and imperious, and jealous and suspicious, and Archer always held her too near. Because he was afraid of her dying.
She broke a long silence with her first words of the night, spoken so quietly he moved closer to hear. "How long do you think you'll live?"
His breath was a surprised laugh. "Truly, I don't know. Many mornings I wake knowing I might die that day." He paused. "Why? What's on your mind tonight, Lady?"
Fire said, "It's likely one of these days a raptor monster will get me, or some arrow will find its way past my guard. It doesn't seem to me a morbid thought; only realistic."
He listened, leaning against the railing, his head propped on his fist.
"I only hope it won't cause my friends too much pain," she continued. "I hope they'll understand it was inevitable."
She shivered. Summer was well over, and if she'd had half a mind tonight she would have brought a coat. Brigan had remembered his coat, a fine long coat that Fire liked, because Brigan was wearing it, and Brigan was quick and strong, and always seemed comfortable whatever he was wearing. And now his hands reached for the buttons and he shrugged himself out of the coat, for try as she might, Fire couldn't hide her shivers.
"No," Fire said. "It's my own fault for forgetting the season."
He ignored this and helped her into the coat, which was too big; and its warmth and bigness were welcome, and so was its smell, of wool, and campfires, and horses. She whispered it into his mind. Thank you.
After a moment, he said, "It seems we're both afflicted with sober thoughts tonight."
"What have you been thinking?"
That unhappy laugh again. "Nothing that will cheer you. I've been trying to find a way around this war."
"Oh," Fire said, rising for a moment from her self-absorption.
"It's a fruitless line of thought. There's no way around it, not with two enemies bent on fighting."
"It isn't your fault, you know."
He glanced at her. "Reading my mind, Lady?"
She smiled. "Lucky guess, I suppose."
He smiled, too, and raised his face to the sky. "I understand you rank dogs above dresses, Lady."
Fire's own laughter was a balm to her heart. "I explained about the monsters, by the way. She already knew a bit about it. I think your housekeeper takes good care of her."
"Tess," Brigan said. "She's taken good care since the day Hanna was born." He seemed to hesitate then, his voice carefully inscrutable. "Have you met her?"
"No," Fire said; for indeed, Brigan's housekeeper still looked upon Fire with cold eyes whenever she looked upon her at all. As Brigan must know, judging by his manner of asking.
"I think it's good for Hanna to have someone old in her life," Brigan said, "who can talk of all different times, not just the last thirty years. And Hanna loves Tess, and all of her stories." He yawned and rubbed his hair. "When will you start your new line of questioning?"
"Tomorrow, I suppose."
"Tomorrow," he said, sighing. "Tomorrow I go away."
Chapter Nineteen
Fire had come to know more about the insignificant habits and tastes of Lord Mydogg, Lord Gentian, Murgda, Gunner, all their households and all their guests than any person could care to know. She knew Gentian was ambitious but also slightly feather-brained at times and had a delicate stomach, ate no rich foods, and drank only water. She knew his son Gunner was cleverer than his father, a reputable soldier, a bit of an ascetic when it came to wine and women. Mydogg was the opposite, denied himself no pleasure, was lavish with his favourites but stingy with everyone else. Murgda was stingy with everyone including herself, and known to be exceedingly fond of bread pudding.
This was not helpful information. Clara and the king had better things to do than sit and witness its discovery, and Garan was still confined to his bed. More and more Fire was left alone in the questioning rooms, excepting, of course, Musa, Mila, and Neel. Brigan had ordered these three to attend Fire in any of her confidential court business, and they spent the greater part of every day with her.
Archer stood sometimes with her guard while she worked. He had asked permission to do so, and Clara had granted it, and so, rather absently, had Fire. She didn't mind Archer's presence. She understood that he was curious. She only minded the sense she got that Clara was more likely to join the interrogation if Archer was there.