I shake my head, clearing away the deviant thoughts. If I continue to think on everything, I’ll drive myself mad. Instead, I try to focus on my task at hand: learn to ride the horse whose name means fierce and stubborn—with fire in her blood.
Devlan looks to the sky. A line forms between his brows. “We don’t have much time before the rain comes.” He pats the horse’s saddle. “Hop up.”
A cold chill worms its way down my spine as I recall Mr. Levine saying nearly the same words. I shake it off, then cock an eyebrow. “Just like that?” I mimic his sure movement, patting the air. “Hop up.”
“For all your bravery, princess,” he says, “you lack the conviction to see things through yourself.” He walks toward me and takes one of my hands, then pulls me over to his horse. “Now, take the reins in your left hand. Let the slack drape over the horse.” I do what he says. “Grab the horse’s mane with the hand that holds the reins, and grip the cantle”—he points to the saddle—“with your other hand. Put your dainty little boot into the stirrup and hop up.”
He holds his hand up. “Wait.” He turns his palm up. “First, give me the dagger.”
My lips turn down. “Nay. I can’t. It belonged to my—”
“I know. But you can’t walk around with an outlawed weapon on you.” His eyebrows knit together. “That’s too dangerous. I’ll put it someplace safe for you. I promise.”
My chest tightens. “Devlan, I just can’t.” I look into his eyes, imploring him. “I made a promise to him.” He doesn’t have to know that I mentally made that promise. It means just the same to me.
He groans and rubs the back of his neck. “This is stupid.” Staring into my eyes, he matches my intensity. “Do not wear it on your person. Hide it somewhere in your room, somewhere your maid or anyone else won’t look.”
“I will,” I say quickly.
He eyes me as if he’s not completely convinced, and pats Fireblood’s saddle.
I suck in a breath and look at Fireblood. Biting down on my bottom lip, I take the reins and slip my foot into the leather stirrup, just as he told me, and attempt to pull myself up. It’s much harder than it looks, and much harder than his instructions made it sound. I hit the ground with my free foot.
“It’s too high.”
“No,” he says, and grabs my waist. “It’s not. You have to get stronger. Use the momentum of your body to haul yourself up. I’ll help this once, but focus on the feel as you bound up.”
On his ready, I jump and pull as he lifts. I sink my chest against the horse’s neck, latching my legs around her stomach, scared I’ll tumble over. But it’s not that bad. I’m already used to the feel of being atop a horse. I sit up straight and smile.
“Ha,” I say. “I think I can do it on my own now.” I glance down at Devlan for his approval, but he’s looking at the ground. A sideways smile sneaks up his face. “What? What did I do wrong?”
He finally looks at me. “Nothing, princess. But once we have a proper women’s saddle, you may want to practice mounting her sidesaddle.”
Heat spreads over my face as I look at my legs straddled on either side of the horse, my dress hiked up to my thighs. I clear my throat and pull my skirt down to cover my sheath, unwilling to allow his mockery to embarrass me. “Well, mayhap I’ll simply wear trousers from now on.”
Devlan shakes his head but says nothing. For about an hour, he instructs me on the basics. He has me kneel atop the horse to learn balance; close my eyes; bend in all directions; hunch over and lean back. Then he goes over the necessary leg cues.
Afterward, he jogs beside Fireblood’s neck and grabs her bridle. He leads her in a slow trot as I get used to being on a horse by myself. We do this for a while until I’m comfortable, feeling as though I won’t fall off if I go a little faster.
When he releases her, I give her a harder kick than I had planned. Fireblood whinnies and bucks several times. Panicking, I try to halt her from taking off, and I slap the reins against her neck. Stupid. She bounds off in a spooked gallop.
Hell.
To make it worse, the sky opens up and rain pours down. Not a drizzle, but a full downpour. I lean forward, getting closer to the horse, and wipe the wetness from my eyes. My heart beats as fast as the drum of Fireblood’s hooves hitting the ground.
“Zara!” Devlan cries out.
My gritted teeth won’t let me answer him. I try to think through the panic, remember how he said to stop her. It dawns, and I lean back and pull the reins. Fireblood immediately halts, her back legs bending beneath her. I yelp as I’m thrown from the horse.
I flip and hit the ground hard. My head jars from the impact and smacks the ground. My back sinks into the soggy earth. I reach behind my head and palm the sore, aching lump that’s already forming. Devlan’s footfalls thump the ground, getting closer.
“Zara.” He flings himself down by my side. Kneeling in the wet dirt, he lifts me into his arms and cradles my body and head. “Damn it.” His eyes search my face, and I squint, trying to block the rain as it pelts my cheeks. “Are you all right? Can you move your legs?”
I nod and immediately regret it. “Ow.”
His fingers slide into my hair, feeling the tender spot. “That will be painful a short while. But at least we’ve discovered your head is not as hard as I first thought.”
Despite myself, I laugh. His blue eyes shine, widening in surprise. He brightens as a smile stretches across his face. Not the sneer or slight grin he rarely gives me, the ones that still hide all emotion from his face. But a true smile. One that transforms his features from their brooding mask into something beautiful.
My breath halts as I stare into his eyes, and study his lips, the curve of his chin. The small dimples carved into his cheeks. A tiny scar just under his slight cleft that I never noticed before. He runs his other hand along my face, clearing away the wet tangles of hair from my forehead. Then he brushes my cheek. Chilled tendrils coil along my skin, sending a shiver through my body.
His face drops into the all too familiar mask. He looks to the sky, then back to me. “You should get out of the rain before you fall ill.” His lips press into a thin line and his dimples disappear. “Are you all right to ride?”
I blink a few times as I’m snapped back to where I am—lying in a soggy field with the first knight holding me. I force a nod against his cupped hand. “Yes,” I manage.
He lifts me up as he gets to his feet. I attempt to wipe the dirt from my dress, but it’s useless, matted in with the rain.
“I suppose now you’ll want to take your time learning to ride.” He doesn’t look at me as he shakes out the reins and pets Fireblood’s wet mane.
I fist my hands on my hips. “After I’ve just learned to stop all on my own?” His head snaps in my direction. I smile. “Honestly, Devlan Capra, you don’t know me at all.”
Once I’m clean and dressed in a new blue gown, I run a comb through my hair and place my silver crown atop my head. The lump has gone down, and the band is loose enough that the circlet doesn’t bother the sore area. For that, I’m thankful.
I apply a small amount of the ointment Devlan gave me and rub my palms until the greasy feel is no longer bothersome. They only slightly sting, and if I continue to bandage my hands nightly with the salve, I feel they’ll be healed soon.
I glance out my balcony door and notice the rain has stopped. Maybe only momentarily, as the sky remains a dark gray with a shimmer of faint, electric blue lines. If Sebastian still plans to joust regardless of the weather, I need to leave soon to meet him. I gather up the hem of my dress and feel for my leather sheath, my dagger. Despite Devlan’s knowledge of it and his warning, I choose to keep it close.