I hold his stare. What happened between them for Devlan to so easily side against his former friend and join the Rebels? “I’m more confused.”
“I know.” He again turns and swipes his sword at the brush, moving us through the forest. “This won’t work. This is why I was trying to take my time with you.” He tugs Fireblood’s reins, leading her over a fallen limb. “I should never have allowed Larkin to come back. God, I hate that guy.”
“Just tell me.”
“Fine, Zara.”
His use of my name gains my full attention, and I move closer to his side.
“Micah, the previous leader of the Rebels, had a plan in effect. She thought disposing of you would make Sebastian distraught, and he’d seek solace in his former best friend.” He points to himself for clarity. “That he’d become so vengeful against the Rebels, he’d bring me into his counsel to formulate a counterstrike against them.”
My mouth drops open. “That’s sick.”
“Yeah, it was a sadistic plan. Micah was losing her mind to the Virus.” He shakes his head. “That plan would never have been carried out. I wouldn’t have let it.” He cranes his neck and his eyes trail over me. “You have to trust me. I would’ve killed Larkin with my bare hands before he ever placed one on you.”
The shimmering river catches his irises, and I can only see the depth of his eyes—hear the conviction in his voice. “I believe you.”
Nodding once, he returns to sweeping the forest floor with his sword. Fireblood huffs and bats a tree limb aside with her head. “Larkin’s angry with the change in command. He’s committed his whole life to the Rebels. Regardless of his stupidity, he won’t disobey orders. He was just trying to push me tonight. It’s been frustrating trying to adapt to Fallon as our new leader.” He groans and cuts down a vine. “But I need to speak with her. Ever since you came here, I’ve seen the mission clearly.”
“And what’s that?”
He halts and faces me. “I don’t think I’m the one at all.” His eyes seek me through the darkness. “You’re the one who can get close to Sebastian, and through him, King Hart.”
I jump backward and hold my hands up. “Oh, no. No, no. I don’t have anything to do with this. You and your band of Rebels…just no.” I lace my arms across my chest. “I only wanted to get away—to not have to marry Sebastian. To not have to look over my shoulder every time I sneezed, worried someone would lock me away, or torture me for stepping out of line. I’m not looking to sign up for your crazy mission.” I mock-laugh. “It’s suicide.”
Ignoring my rant, he cleaves another branch, and the forest reveals a cleared area ahead.
“Devlan, stop. I want to go back.” I’m shocked that the words have left my mouth, but they’re true. I want to be out of the forest and somewhere I can think clearly. “How far have we gone?”
“I think it’s better to show you.” He sheaths his sword. “I can try to convince you all night and we’ll get nowhere. You need to see with your own eyes.”
He mounts Fireblood and lowers his hand to me.
I study it, not sure what to do. Glancing over my shoulder, I look back through the dense forest, as if I can see beyond it and past the wall—to the castle. Then I look up at him. “How do I know you’re not taking me off to kill me?” I wrap my arms around my waist tighter, grabbing fistfuls of his tunic. “You’ve exposed yourself, and now I know too much. How can I trust that you’re not going to get rid of me because I won’t help you?”
His lips twitch into a side-grin. “I guess you can’t.” He extends his hand closer to me. “But don’t you think if that were my plan, I’d have done so by now?”
I raise my eyebrows, vexed.
He sighs. “I promise. No harm will come to you. You have my word.”
“That’s not good enough. From your own admission, you’ve lied to many people.” I eye him.
He matches the intensity of my glare. “You have my word on my parents’ lives, no one will hurt you.”
My face scrunches. “I thought your parents were…” I trail off. It’s still ingrained in me not to speak of the Taken. “I thought they were dead.”
“In a sense, they are. But in another, they are very much alive.” His face hardens. “Do you want the truth or not?”
I take his hand, and he pulls me atop Fireblood. “I do.” I have to know what he means about his parents. I’m probably making the biggest mistake of my life. I’ll probably not return alive. Either way, there’s no going back to my life unchanged. I have to take the chance.
I have to know the truth.
He turns his head toward me and smiles, like he knew my choice all along. “Then let’s go.”
I latch my arms around him. “First, tell me where we’re going.”
He kicks her sides, and Fireblood takes off. Through the whistling in my ears, he says, “The Rebel camp.”
SEVENTEEN
It’s the first time in nearly a week I’ve been this far away from Court, and my hands tremble. It feels much longer. I wrap my arms tighter around Devlan. Fireblood slows to a steady trot as we enter another dense section of the forest.
Certain things about Devlan are becoming clear. His dialogue, for one. I noticed he’d slip into more modern speech—something my father did at times—when we were alone. My father warned all the time to be cautious of this. Though he’d sneak me books from the old world, I was never to speak the way the characters did.
What if this camp has books and others things, like movies or clothes, that my father told me still exist? A place against the rule of King Hart. Maybe I’ll learn of things my father refused to explain for fear of being accused of treason.
We move slowly through the forest, creeping through the thick brush, and too many questions fill my head. I have to pace myself.
I remember thinking Devlan was jealous of Sebastian. My assumptions for all his strange behavior couldn’t have been further off. While I was right to toss aside the thought he could have romantic notions for me, I could’ve never come to the conclusion he was scouting me to be part of his Rebel mission.
I shake my head. The idea of me…me lurking around the castle like some spy, like one of the characters I’ve read about in my banned books. I almost laugh out loud, the thought is so preposterous.
“Will you answer me something else?” I ask Devlan.
“I can try.”
“Did you truly believe I could carry out your crazy mission?”
He’s quiet a moment. “Yes. And I still believe you can.” He adjusts the reins in one hand so he can rest the other on his thigh. “I wouldn’t have been spending so much time training you to ride, prepping you to use your mind and body to be aware of things, if I didn’t feel you were worth the investment.”
My stomach sinks. I’m nothing but an “investment” to him. Does he even see me as a real person who could lose her life? Or am I only a chess piece to be maneuvered? “Well, you’re sadly mistaken. Not that I’m not humbled by your flattery of my talents.” I roll my eyes behind his back. “But you’ve given me no reason to risk my life for your cause.”
“Trust me, Zara,” he says, and it’s still strange hearing my name from his lips. “You will be given plenty of reason by this night’s end.”
I allow him to think so. I can’t argue in the middle of the woods from the back of a horse. After he unveils this big secret, I’ll graciously decline his offer of an early death and try to figure out what to do next.
Recalling his words to me at the meadow, I toss them around my head, then piece them together again. I don’t understand what taking down the barrier will accomplish other than possibly making our life worse than it is inside Karm. Since their falling-out, maybe Devlan has learned nothing of Sebastian’s hidden desires to change things. I wonder if I could convince Devlan that I can sway Sebastian’s rule. If he believes I can become close enough in order to get near King Hart, surely he’ll trust that I can convince Sebastian to make things better in the kingdom. That seems a more logical plan than taking down the barrier so everyone suffers.