Her face tightened. “What do you mean?”
Reconciling with Griffin had lulled me into a false sense of security. I’d approached Alice all wrong. “He seems all right,” I said, trying to backtrack.
Alice raised an eyebrow. “Seems?”
I shrugged. “I found him on board the ship last night. He was searching our cabins.”
“You went to the ship during the night?”
“Yes.”
“Alone?”
There was no use in lying. “With Rose. I . . . didn’t want to wake you.”
“Right,” she said, like she didn’t believe me for a moment. “And what did you two do after you got back?”
I could hear the judgment in her voice. “Nothing. We hid, so we wouldn’t get caught.” I sat up again. “What’s your excuse? I notice you weren’t around the room this morning either.”
She gritted her teeth, but didn’t answer.
“Don’t you wonder why Jerren was on the ship at all?”
“Keep your voice down,” she hissed. “Sound carries on water. And no, what I really want to know is why you’re telling me this now.”
“Because you should know.”
She dragged her mouth into a smile. “Should I have known this morning? Or on the way over today? Or should I only know when you think I like him?”
“This isn’t personal, Alice. I don’t know if we can trust him. And since you’re spending all your time with him, that’s important.”
She blanched. “All my time? Or is this really about nights?”
Jerren cruised by, pumping his fist in triumph. Alice didn’t care, though. Normally, she would’ve responded by trying even harder, working the boat for every yard of advantage. Now she just stared straight ahead, as if nothing mattered at all.
“The reason I’ve been leaving each night is because I need to be alone,” she said. “Every time I close my eyes, I see Eleanor. I remember the way she looked at me. The way she fell.” Alice raised a hand to her neck, ran her fingers across the red marks. “I have nightmares too. My father, strangling me. I feel his hands around my neck. I can’t block it out. I can’t . . . breathe.” Suddenly her eyes welled with tears. She stared at the sail above us. “He wanted to kill me.”
“He was crazy, Alice. Eleanor had died and—”
“He wanted me dead.” The word punched the air, left no room for explanations or excuse. “And then you stepped in and . . . I think you saved my life.” She swallowed hard. “No. I know you saved my life. And I don’t know how that makes me feel.”
I placed a hand on her knee to comfort her. “He wouldn’t have done it, Alice. He couldn’t.”
From thirty yards away, Jerren watched us fall farther behind. He wasn’t racing anymore. He already knew Alice well enough to realize that something was wrong. He looked genuinely concerned. So did Ananias.
Alice didn’t see them, though. She was looking at me, her expression tired and frustrated. “It doesn’t matter, Thom. You and me, we rescued them all, remember? They were as good as dead and we saved them. And after all that, my sister couldn’t face me, and my father killed himself so he wouldn’t have to live with me anymore.” She fed the mainsheet through a cleat, as if simply holding the rope was too much effort. “All my life, I dreamed of getting away from Hatteras. But now I’m here, and I can’t see the future at all.” She surveyed the harbor, eyes constantly shifting. “The only thing left is loss.”
»«
Chief sat on the jetty, waiting for us. As I clambered off the boat, he handed me a water canister. “Drink up, Thomas. I need a word.”
The others went on without me. “What is it?” I asked.
He flicked sweat from his forehead. “You probably smelled me from Pinckney. I’ve been cleaning poop from the enclosure. Figure it’s hard for anyone else to complain about their work while I’m doing the worst job of all.” He lifted a hand to his nose and grimaced as he sniffed it. “Might be time to revisit that idea, though.”
He laughed. Even though it seemed rude, so did I. Every time the breeze calmed for a moment, he stank.
“That’s why we keep the enclosures outside, of course. On still days, it can get stifling inside those walls. The fumes would be dangerous.”
“Makes sense,” I agreed.
“Indeed.” He wiped the back of his arm across his forehead. “Life has to be symbiotic: We work with nature. Wasn’t that way before the Plague, of course. Back then, we’d fight the earth, the water, the wind, then find ways to undo the damage.” He pursed his lips. “Sometimes I wonder if the Plague wasn’t nature’s way of reclaiming the world.”
He massaged his back as he took a seat on the jetty. “Tell me about life in your colony.”
It was my cue to join him, but I didn’t want to. It was late afternoon and I was hot and tired. I wanted to check on my father and Rose.
“Please, Thomas. Sit down.”
Reluctantly, I sat. “Our colony wasn’t that different from yours. Rainwater harvesters, vegetable gardens, a grove of fruit trees—”
“And fish.” He made it sound important. “Marin caught a beauty yesterday. Didn’t exactly feed the whole colony, but every little bit helps. Is she going to be able to do that often?”
Panic rose inside me. “I don’t think so. It was probably just luck.”
Chief scratched his chin. “Well, you’d know, of course, since you were there. But I think you might be wrong, all the same.”
“Really?”
“Yes. See, one of the colonists saw her catch it. He described the whole thing to me. Many years ago, I saw a woman use the very same technique. She’d tickle the fish’s underbelly, make it still, and then grab it.” Chief nodded to himself. “If Marin has the skill too, she’ll be a real asset to us.”
There was nothing for me to say to that. All I could think was how fortunate it was that the colonist had misunderstood the situation with Rose and Marin completely. Otherwise we’d be having a very different conversation.
“Does Marin seem happy?” Chief asked then.
Again I sensed that the question wasn’t completely innocent. Again I had no good answer. “I think so.”
“Good. I want everyone to be comfortable here.” He peered up at the battlements and waved at the children who were watching us. “Poor things,” he murmured. “This fort is their salvation and their prison. I can’t imagine spending my entire life in such a small place.”
“They seem to be doing all right.”
“I suppose so.” He gazed at the harbor, a view he must have taken in a thousand times. “Do you have any idea about the history of this place, Thomas?”
“Only that the people here used to destroy ships entering the harbor.”
He chuckled. “Not all ships. But yes, Fort Sumter was a military installation. An attack on this place started a civil war. Depending on whom you ask, it was either the moment that our country died, or was truly born. When the dust settled, they rebuilt from the battered remains of the old fort.” He looked me squarely in the eye. “I don’t believe it’s an accident that we’ve been able to survive here. I believe in a higher power, a God if you will, that wants our nation to be reborn. Our civil war is not man against man, it’s man against rat. But we have battled the Plague and won for eighteen years. And we’ll continue to fight.”
I could tell he meant it, but it was hard for me to share his faith. “Do you think you’ll win?”
He looked suddenly tired. His eyes drifted back to Charleston, tantalizingly close but completely uninhabitable. “I don’t know. I’ve never lost faith, but I’m an old man and I fear I may not live long enough to see a solution.”
Hearing that word made me shudder. He didn’t mean anything by it, didn’t even register my startled response, but the meaning of solution had changed forever.